I agree with CML as well, good advise there... Yes, you do have a long road ahead of you, but with patience you'll get your new friend there. I have a
that we bought at a bird show last december, she was just fine when we checked her out, she stepped up for my wife just fine, but was a little shy about stepping up for me. The breeder (who is now good friends with us) told us that she did have a preference to women which I've seen before. Anyway, we put her back on her perch, looked around some, then went home, but the next morning my wife couldn't stop talking about her and how pretty she was as well as being so tame. This bird was all over my wife like she knew her all along. We went back to the bird show and got there just as people were putting stuff up and getting ready to close and I found the breeder and asked him if he still had that beautiful ringneck. He said he still had her and we went out to his truck to transport her from his cage to our transport cage.
The ride home she was just fine, but as soon as we got her home, she appeared nervous, I told my wife this was normal but open her cage and wait for her to come out. She didn't come out so my wife put her hand inside the cage to get her, but she freaked out at this point. She did get her out of the cage but now the bird was running from us looking for a place to hide. She was clipped so she had no lift so when she ran off the bed I caught her and carried her to her new cage.
I told my wife to leave her alone the rest of the day so she could settle in which she did. I took our parrotlet out and introduced her, our parrotlet was doing the "happy dance" and telling her every word he could say while she watched him and made a few of her own noises back. After that, we fed her and left her alone the rest of the day.
Next day I go to get her out of the cage (this cage has a huge door) and she ran from me so I backed off remembering she was a bit nervous toward me at the bird show. Then my wife puts her hand in front of her to step her up and she freaked out again so we left the door open so she could come out on her own. She was fine except anytime one of us reached for her she would freak out and run. I was able to perch her on a play stand where she stayed, I offered her a treat but she wouldn't come to me until I looked away then she snatched the food from my hand and retreated.
We found out she has a serious fear of our hands that she didn't have just the day before, it didn't matter if it was me or my wife, she would run if we put a hand anywhere within a foot of her. To confirm this, while she was perched on a play stand, I walked up to her with my hands behind my back, she was just fine, I was talking softly to her and touched her beak with my nose, she was just fine with that as well, but no matter how careful I was with my hands, as soon as she saw them and even thought they were coming her way she would scream bloody murder and run.
This went on for over 6 months and she's still Very cautious of our hands, but she did grow her flight feathers back in this time and she will land on my shoulder or head, then she's ok with me touching her with my hands, she loves to cuddle and she loves being pet, but she still won't let anyone reach for her and won't step up unless we use a stick. She is ok tho if another bird is on our hand when we reach for her, but not the hand by it's self. I was able to get her to eat from my hand just last week for the first time.
We tried everything to get her over this fear with little success with the exception of the part where she'll let us get close with our hands as long as there's a bird on the hand coming towards her... So one day I got the idea of using our injured quaker as the role model, he was pretty much recovered and able to fly, land, and perch on things at this point, but would fall forward if he tried to walk at the time. I took both birds into the bathroom and perched Baby, the ringneck on the shower curtain rod, then put Lucky, the quaker next to her, she fell in love with this bird instantly. So from this point on I would let them both out at the same time, Baby would watch for him to come out and then she would follow him when he flew to the perches, she also became very playful which she wasn't before. She would watch and protect Lucky from the other birds if they were out, but when Luck would fly to me, she began to follow and land on me. She was ok with me petting her once she was on me as long as Lucky was there too so I used this angle to recover her.
What helped the most with her was first of all, not reaching for her at all, letting her come in and out of her cage on her own, letting her flight feathers grow back, and giving her a friend who not only did she know was harmless to her, but also was very attached to me since I spent numerous hours with his rehab from flying into a wall at full speed. This bird will fly to me just so I can pet him, then fly back to her etc. so she began to follow him as the role model and is now handelable
(to a certain extent) but still improving. She even said her name the other night which caught me off guard since I've never heard her talk before that.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is to give you an idea of what you may have to be up against with your new bird, and just how long it can take before they come around. Yeah, Baby has come a Long way since we got her 10 months ago, but she still has a long way to go before the day she steps up into one of our hands. I even remember joking with my wife that I bet she'd be flying before she was fully tame, then I was joking to her that she'd be talking before she was fully tame and guess what? ... she's flying very well, and she said her first word in front of us... and she's still not fully tame, but she is getting there... slowly
Basically, this is my way of saying, be patient and take your time. We're here tho anytime you got questions or need some moral support too...