Meyers Parrot suddenly changed

[GingerBird]

Hi all,

I haven't been active for a year on the forum but encountered a problem and see no solution. I have a 12-year old lovebird Boris and a two year old Meyers Parrot called Maya. I've gotten Maya two years ago and she was 10 weeks old. I love her a lot, and did my really best to tame and train her. Everything worked out great for me, I could lay her on her back, pet her everywhere I wanted and tried to train her some tricks. My partner however, well he did his best but she didn't love him as much as she loved me.

This was the situation before July 2014. For the research I was doing at the university I had to travel for 1.5 months in another country with my partner so we gave Boris and Maya to a bird-sitter: a friend of mine who owns a tame parakeet.
I was worried because Maya was still very young and maybe she wouldn't like me as much when I got back but I was also convinced that we could build on our relationship again afterwards: there wasn't much choice...

When I got back (August, 2014), Maya was acting very strange. As soon as she was back in my study room she acted very nervous (Boris was just the old same no-nonsense lovebird, likes to be cuddled and will conveniently sit on your shoulder cleaning himself or sleeping). I gave her a few days rest, and since I also study in the same room (3 meters from her cage) i thought she might be calmer with me getting nearby over time.
She didnt... When I clean her cage, give her food, water, change toys she will run to one of the corners (always the same one, the one where she sleeps as well) and sit there mad/frightened until I close her cage. Then she will grab two bars of the birdcage with her beak and with great force and noise tries to squeeze them together.

This is how she is acting towards me since my partner and I got her back from the bird-sitter. But she is also acting differently to my partner since then... She loves him more than anything else! She makes the sweetest noises as soon as he comes in my room, he can do anything with her and she will accept it.

I guessed that she just forgot about me (probably the wrong assumption) and she turned into a one-person bird but is not aggressive towards me (I mean, she doesn't bite me... maybe her cage behavior is aggressive or defensive, i don't know). I have read and tried to apply the "How To Overcome One Person Parrot Aggression" announcement with not much success (I thought the method could work with nervous parrots as well). First my partner and I cleaned, fed etc. the birds together, and since 3/4 year I do it alone, trying to make Maya more comfortable with me with not much success. I cant get her out of her cage at all. The only thing she is accepting is stepping up when she is at her training base. She will sit on my shoulder for 3 minutes and fly to either her cage /training base or to my partner as soon as he enters the room.
She will also eat seeds from my hand when she is in the cage and my hand is outside, but she will accept nothing when my hand is inside the cage: sometimes she will panic, sometimes she will grab the seed and release it as soon as possible. I also talk daily with her, trying to make the noises she likes and she reacts positively to this (bouncing her head, making noises with me, she even takes some steps into my directions sometimes) as long as she is in her cage and I stay outside. She does seems to tolerate me a little better when my partner is in the same room but when she is free she will fly pretty soon to him (i guess to "safety").

So, what is wrong, and are there any suggestions to work with her? I am glad that she doesn't feel alone, since she loves my partner so much, but I am very sad that she acts like this towards me. It seems that she freaks out as soon as I do something with my hands (except stepping up).
I probably need more guidance to get her to the next level... Stepping up, accepting food from me etc. was fixed within two weeks since we got back, until then we didn't make much progress. What will stimulate her to accept me more (so I can pet her, give her the tickles she likes, get her out of the cage by myself)?

[Wolf]

The basis of this problem is that at two years of age, Maya, has gone into puberty. You had the benefit of the parent/ child bond with her before you left, which didn't help her to retain her bond with you. She may have remembered you. but with the changes brought on by puberty she chose your partner to establish her mate bond with. This is a thing that all parrots go through and can't be avoided. The rush of hormones that are a part of puberty cause many changes in their bodies and in the process she became an adult bird and no longer thinks as a baby bird.
What can you do about this? You do have a couple of options available to you. The first option is to accept Maya as she is and do your best to win her trust again and be happy with the lesser role of flock member. The other option is one that I personally don't like as it is harder to do and is much harder on the bird as well. But if it is the only way for her to be acceptable then you can limit the time that she has with your partner and work on re establishing your bond with Maya in its new form of a mate bond.
In either case the appropriate steps to establishing a relationship are roughly the same you have to gain her trust just as when you first got her. This means hours of time hanging out together talking and singing until she begins to look forward to seeing you and then progress on to target training. She is still going to require time out of her cage on a daily basis as well as one on one time out of the cage with and on you.

[GingerBird]

Thank you so much for your answer! It is a relief to have such a logical answer to this problem. It explains why it takes more time to gain her trust and why she is so easy with my partner. I agree that will be hard on her to enforce a change of mates so I accept her decision.

How long will a Meyers parrot be in puberty? And when she is over her puberty, will she be more likely to accept other people? I will keep trying to gain her trust by feeding, talking, singing. Maybe she will not love me as much as my partner, but maybe she will trust me eventually.

Thanks again

[liz]

Cuddle with Boris. Make Boris you center of attention. Just accept that you are her second person.
Rambo is 20+. He is mine and I truly love him. I was first person. My mother was second person. My daughter moved in and she took first person and I moved to third. It hurt my feelings but I was still in his family. My mother passed and I moved to second. Rachel took a job where she is out of town for a week at a time. Rambo has gotten used to this and lets me be his first while she is gone.
I have Myrtle to cuddle with and just accept my place in his family.

[GingerBird]

Yes, I will. Boris is a sweet thing, I am in his flock since he was also 7 weeks old and our friendship is as strong as it is old. I won't let him down.
Just another question, the announcement about one-person-birds stated that is was important to train parrots so they will feel comfortable when others are around.

I don't want to push Maya too much so what do you suggest:
- Should I wait until she is older to train with her and other people
- Should I just accept that she will be nervous around others
- Should I train her now to accept others
- Or would you advice something else?

[Wolf]

Being similar in nature to its slightly more aggressive cousin the Senegal Parrot, I would definitely recommend that as soon as you can reasonably do so that you proceed to work on socialization of Maya as she will have a tendency to become a one person bird.
I have a Senegal parrot female just a few years older than Maya and although she is basically a one person bird, she has always been encouraged to socialize with any and all visitors and as a result she is not afraid of strangers and seems to take great delight in flying to the and asking for head scratches. I think that Maya would benefit a great deal with socialization beginning as soon as it is feasible for you to do so. The longer that you postpone this type of training the harder it will be to socialize her as they do tend to get somewhat set in their ways.

[liz]

Invite people to your home. Make sure they wash their hands. Don't take her in public, please.

Myrtle claims me but will beg food from Aunt Betty.
She has come a long way from skinny little nervous bird who was afraid of everything including me. A man can't walk into my house without her flying to his shoulder. She will swoop and land near all women but my daughter. She would rather torment Rachel.

[Pajarita]

A word of caution, parrots are all one person birds. They choose it when they become sexually mature, just as they would in the wild and they stick with their choice (meaning, she is not going to change her mind even when she is through puberty). You might get a parrot to accept other people without attacking them but this is not going to change the fact that, as far as she is concerned, she has ONE human. Period. It's the way nature made them and trying to change this is extremely stressful to them and, ultimately, unsuccessful. It's unfortunate that she has chosen a human that is not her owner but they choose who they choose and there is nothing we can do about it. Mind you, this doesn't mean that she cannot have a wonderful flock mate relationship with you. It just means that she will always prefer your boyfriend to you and that, when she is with him, she won't want to go to you.

[GingerBird]

Thank you
I understand that parrots choose a mate, which is not a problem at all for me ( I called it a one-person-bird because it was called that way in the forum-announcement I referred to) . The problem I do have is that she does not accept any attention from someone else. She is frightened when I ask her to step up / get her out of her cage / feed her / refresh water.
It is not a problem that she choose my partner as a mate, but if I don't exercise with her to accept other people, she won't be able to get out of her cage when my partner is not around (and I find it very important that my birds get out their cage on a daily basis).

So I will follow Wolf's advice and I will encourage Maya to socialize with other people too

[Wolf]

It probably just came out wrong, but I don't think that Pajarita was against you socializing Maya. I think her comments were all in reference to Maya's bonding with your boyfriend.
The main reason that I am saying anything more at this point is that I don't know if it will help or not, sometimes it does and others it doesn't. You could try having a little game of trade the bird, where your partner hands Maya to you and before she gets nervous enough to leave on her own you hand her back to him. Do this no more than 3 times during any one session, it might help speed up her trust in you a little. Just a thought.