Male Conure protective of his female

[kyrubas]

My wife and I just recently brought home 2 Conures, a Sun Conure (Velly), and a Jenday Conure (Dac). Based on how they interact it would appear that Velly is possibly a female and Dac is a male. Now Velly is pretty easily enticed with treats and food. She'll step-up without hesitation to get the treat and hangout with you even after getting the treat, sometimes she'll even do it without the offer of a treat. Dac however is very protective of Velly. He'll run over and attempt to gnaw at the wrist that is being offered to Velly to step up onto. Dac won't really step-up, which means we need to do some one-on-one training with him. The only problem is he gets noticeably agitated when you take Velly any distance away from him, afraid that you're going to eat her I guess. It's almost funny that you can get him to step-up sometimes when you have Velly on you because it seems he wants to be where she is located. Any thoughts on how to train Dac?

[Pajarita]

He is doing his job: protecting the female. It's hard to get a bonded male to stop doing this because, in essence, you are trying to train something that nature hard-wired into his brain and trying to eradicate natural behaviors never works in the long term. If it works in the short term, it will backfire as the bird gets older.

What you need to do is to win him over and prove to him that you are no danger to the female or her relationship with him. You haven't had him very long so I suggest that, for now, you stop interacting with the female for a couple of weeks and simply keep both of them company by sitting near, talking, singing, whistling and offering them treats. Once he relaxes on his vigilance and starts to accept you, you can start target training him but it will have to be done in a different room from the female (you should also interact with the female in a different room so he doesn't see you).

[kyrubas]

So first thing this morning Velly hopped up on top of the cage and stepped up very nicely so we took her just out of sight of Dac. He was notably concerned; his wings were taught and a little bit out and all feathers were pressed against his body. My wife had Velly in the living room while I hung out with Dac. Though he was distressed (maybe because he was distressed) he would step-up, sometimes almost recklessly. Feeling a little bit bad for him I took him to the living room in sight of Velly at which point he calmed down and would still step-up very nicely. Then came a point where I said 'No' a bit too firmly when he tried to bite and that was the end of the easy stepping up.

[Wolf]

I doubt that your saying " No" even if a bit firm caused the change. It is more likely that the excitement got too much for him and he couldn't contain it any longer. With most animals excitement is very close to aggression and parrots are no exception to this.

[Pajarita]

Wolf is right, what you said or the tone of voice meant nothing to him (they can learn but they are not clairvoyant). Most likely what happened was that he was very upset (which made him behave, birds always behave when scared) and, once he calmed down, he went back to his usual tricks. I suggest that, in the future, you keep him in his own room and make him company when you take the female out because if you start 'bending' the rules from day one, the technique won't work. He is not a baby, he is a young adult which lived with a breeder (read neglected) for over a year and during his formative life stage so he is not as malleable as the female and you will need to put a lot of work and time (you can't rush things) into winning him over.

[kyrubas]

Well it's looking like he just needed more familiarity with me. Today when I came home they both squawked at me to be let out and get attention and treats. They climbed up to the top of their cage and surprisingly Dak pushed Velly out of the way to step up. He's still a bit on guard (feathers pressed and standing straight), but this seems like a good sign; it looks like he wants the treats at the very least more than the perceived safety of not being handled. I suspect he observed Velly getting the majority of the treats yesterday when she learned a new trick ("Tilt the Birdy"/Upside down bird).

Dak did however bite down hard on my wife this evening every time she tried to get him to step up. I went to him just after that thinking he was just agitated. Surprisingly he was perfectly nice to me and stepped up immeaditly. I suspect since I've spent the most time working with him (getting close to him and saying "No" when he tries to bite) he's less inclined to bite me and as such I need to perhaps back off and let my wife give him some attention. Does this seem like a logical course or should I continue being his primary trainer?

[liz]

You are doing good. Now that he knows you will not eat her he will be much more relaxed.
Just remember to keep them on a low protein and low iron diet for their health.

[Wolf]

It doesn't matter who is the primary trainer, but it is important that both of you put time in with both birds and not just for training either. Hanging out and scratching their heads and rubbing their beaks as well as just sitting calmly with one of them on you is very important if you want both of you to be accepted by both of these birds.

[Pajarita]

Correct. Bonding time is much more important than training. And there should never be a 'she got bit every time she tried' because if a bird bites you the first time you ask him to step up, you should back off and not insist. You can go back a while later, talk softly to it, offer a treat and then ask again, very politely and only once and, if he doesn't do it, just walk away. Insistence is a way of trying to impose our desires on the bird's behavior which, in a way, it's a form of dominance, and dominance does not go well with parrots - it's always much, much better to allow them to take the first step even if it takes a long time for this to happen because, this way, you know for a fact it was the bird's decision and not you bribing him with a treat which might give you the desired result at the beginning but never in the long term. Birds don't bite the people they trust and love but trust and love need to be earned, you can't train them into it. Parrots are not naturally aggressive (they are not predators and do not live in a hierarchical society) and they only bite to defend and protect or when they can't get their point across any other way so, when insist and you make them bite you, you are, in reality, teaching them that you cannot be trusted to respect their wishes.