Will my conure ever bond with me

[sunconuresunny00]

How long can it take for my sun conure to bond with me?? I've only had him a little over a month!! Thank u!!

[liz]

You do not say where you got him, how old he is, what invironment he came from or any other back round.

One month was lost when you moved him.

I don't know how he is with others in the house.

I have many critters in my house that belong to 3 women. Every one has bonded to each woman in it's own way and has put us in the order of who is most important to them. This ranges from horses, dogs, cats, Rambo and Myrtle as well as 14 cockatiels.
I say Rambo and Myrtle instead of their species because they are beings in their own right. Each critter in this house has his own personality.
I am #1 with Myrtle and Aunt Betty is #2 because she is easy to hit up for food. Rachel is #3 and is treated like a step sister. She loves my son and when he is here even I don't count.
I rescued Rambo too and right now I am his #1. My daughter is away but when she gets home he will move me to #2 and attach himself to her. Aunt Betty stays at #3 with him.

My flock of cockatiels are all rescued from various unhappy places. Some have been abused to the point of being crippled. I rescued them to give them a home and then a flock to hide in when scared. I never expected them to trust me. They have always known I am the giver of food and would come to the food treating me as if I was not there which I was very happy with. It did not stay that way. Some are claiming me as their human even though I have not touched them they touch me. It is a strange situation but they do live in the security of a flock.

When he is socialized he may claim a different person as #1. He will bond to you but still may attach himself to another.

Think of him as a 2 year old child. He is confused. He does not yet understand you and cannot ask questions. You are strange to him and he does not know why he is where he is. You would not expect a scared 2 year old to come running and give you a hug. With just one month that 2 year old would still be crying and scared.

Go back and start all over again to gain his trust. Follow the instructions step by step and don't try to force him or it will set him back.

Wolf gives better instructions on getting beyond the fear. Pajarita can help you with his care. In the forum there are many with first hand experience who will help you. There are a few members still at your stage and others who have made it through and building a relationship with their toddlers.

[Wolf]

Please go back and read your other topics as I spent several hours working on parrot 101 and hand taming your bird from day one and then posted it for you so that all you had to do was follow the step by step instructions to hand tame your bird and included are explanations so that you will know why this works 100% of the time if you just use it every day as written.

Why are you so hung up on time? I don't mean to be rude but has someone given you a time limit? Is 20 to 30 years not long enough so that you feel that a mere month is too long? It will take your bird at least a year to be fully climatized and comfortable in this new environment and every time that you introduce something new the bird needs to adjust to it as well.

Just thought of this and I again do not wish to be rude or anything, but perhaps it might help me to understand things better, how old are you?

As for bonding with you, yes, he will, but it may take some time. There are several types of bonding that occur in a parrots lifetime and they even occur, at least for the first time at certain stages of its life.

The first bond that occurs is that one that I call the dependency bond, it is like the bond between the parent bird and the baby bird and it happens because the baby bird is helpless at birth and must depend on its parents to teach it every thing it needs to know in life beginning with how to eat and drink because it does not even know how to do these things. We pull the baby bird from its parents and short circuit this bond and trick the baby into accepting us as its parent and then it is up to us to teach it all that it is needing to know to live in a human world.

The second bond is that of the flock bond and it relates to accepting other birds and humans as part of its flock. The flock helps to protect the bird from danger whether it is awake or asleep and it derives a relatively large portion of its sense of safety, security and well being from close association with its flock This bond takes place while the bird is still a juvenile bird and then again after it transitions from a juvenile into an adult bird during and after puberty. I am not positive that it actually occurs in two separate times, that is just personal theory, but the flock bond does change once the bird becomes an adult and begins to contribute to the welfare of the entire flock.

And then there is the bond that everyone wants the most and that also gives humans the most problems and this is the mate bond and it can last a lifetime. It can be made by the bird in the blink of an eye or it can take several months to occur and in some cases it is never made with either another bird or with the humans that are available to it. This bond and/or the lack of it is one of the primary reasons for so many birds being rehomed or abandoned or placed in rescues. It is perhaps the single most important bond in the birds life. It is the bond that everyone one with a parrot is looking for and wants to cultivate.

[Pajarita]

Please don't tell us how old you are here. Use the PM function for it.

Now, I understand your impatience. We all want our animals to love us and, when it comes to parrots, it always seems like a hugely long wait - and it is compared to dogs and cats! But, parrots are very different from any other companion animal we might have. They require A LOT of work and even more patience. You see, parrots don't feel the need to be grateful to us for good treatment, food, toys, etc - neither do they feel the need to please us. They think that everything we give them is their due, the little ingrates It's the way they are and no reflection on you or your treatment of him. Dogs want nothing more than to love us but, with parrots, love is not your right, you need to earn it - and that takes time and patience.

The answer to your question is that it might take a long time, a short time or maybe even never. It all depends on what you do and what you don't do.

[sunconuresunny00]

Ummmm I never posted how old I was on here

[Wolf]

I was only trying to establish whether you are a teen or younger or older as I thought that it might help me to be more understanding of what is happening with you and your bird. But Pajarita is correct you should not put that on the open forum and if you feel like answering it then it should be done in a PM and I was wrong to ask on the forum. Sorry.