by Pajarita » Thu Jul 07, 2016 11:19 am
Wolf is right, if you have only had her for a few weeks, there is still a chance that you might end up been 'her chosen one'. But, if I were you, I would stop training her because, first of all, you always need to wait until after the honeymoon period and when the bird is 100% comfortable with you and its new home before you start (which doesn't happen in a few weeks) and, secondly, because if she prefers your boyfriend -who does NOT train her- to you -who does- there might be something there, don't you think?
Training is a GREAT tool but it can also be a double-edged sword as it only works right if the trainer does it right and if the bird is already bonded to the trainer. The thing about training parrots is that because they are not hierarchical in their natural social structure, obedience and/or subservience is not a trait that is hard-wired into their brain. And that's why professional trainers use a sort of food deprivation and food as reward - because the hungry bird would do anything to survive and this ensures the bird performing to the trainer's satisfaction. But there is another way. It's longer but it's kinder and even more sure than the 'trick for food' is (which, as you have realized, sometimes backfires). It requires that the bird WANT to please you and, for that to happen, the bird has to love you, first. Now, I don't know if the bird chose your boyfriend just because of plain chemistry (they do this), because he reminded her of somebody who was kind to her in the past or because he doesn't ask anything of her (no training) but, precisely because it's impossible to determine the actual reason for her preference, I would eliminate the one that I can (you can't do anything about chemistry or her memories). I would just spend time with her on her terms. Let her out of her cage, talk to her, let her ride your shoulder, offer her a treat here and there as tokens of friendship and not as reward for anything. Believe it or not, this goes a looooong way toward getting them to love you. Parrots are highly intelligent animals, they actually draw conclusions based on our actions and, although they are very forgiving and patient with our mistakes, this forbearance they show us does require they hold some kind of affection for us as well as trust. So gain her trust and affection by treating her with the same respect you would a fellow human being and you will be rewarded. I know that the 'respect them as you would people' sounds a bit off the wall and extreme but I have found it works like magic with them. Give them leave to be themselves without imposing any demands and rules on them and show them that you enjoy their company on their terms and they will always respond with affection.