My bird broke up with me!

[SevenX]

I have a male senegal parrot, 7 years old. About half a year ago, I met a new boyfriend, and my bird liked him right from the start, so I thought, great, he's not jealous, no problem here... But that little unfaithful ball of feathers fell in love with him (he generally likes young men and doesn't like women and older men) and decided to break up with me. He hates me, he bites me (even unprovoked - he just comes to my hand lying on the table and bites it), he won't step up - I can't even put my hand near him, he puffs up when I come near his cage. He lets me scratch him when he is in the mood (he LOVES being scratched), and occasionaly he does step up, but often bites my fingers three seconds after he does.
My boyfriend can do anything, put his hand in Viky's cage, take him out, put him back, carry him on his shoulder. He never gets bitten. The problem is, we are not living together, and I need to handle the bird. And I'd like my companion back, this nippy unfriendly animal isn't my Viky

[Wolf]

Welcome to the wonderful world of parrots! I am sorry that your bird has chosen your new boyfriend as his special human over you at this time.

There are several factors that come into play here. The first thing is that he may have gone through puberty at about the age of two years but he is not sexually mature until around five or six years of age. If you got this bird while he was still a baby or juvenile then the bond that he developed with you was like that between a parent and child, where the child is totally dependent upon its parents to teach it everything that it needs to know. Then when the bird goes through puberty and as it becomes an adult, it releases this parent/ child bond, moves out of its parents nest and starts looking for its mate. That is the way that it works in the wild and it serves the purpose of preventing the parent and its young from interbreeding. With the captive bird it means that your bird may switch who it is bonded with to a person other than the person that bought and raised the bird. This is normal parrot behavior.

In fortunately there is very little that you can do about this other than to keep caring for the bird as it may still decide to switch its loyalties back to you. The only thing that you can do that might help the bird to rebond with you is to limit the birds contact with the other human. This would, however be stressful for the bird. Without doing this, it is likely that the bird will accept you as a member of its flock and remain bonded to your boyfriend, or it may come back to you, but there is no way of knowing what the bird will do.

This is one of the risks that one takes when they purchase a young bird from either a pet store or from a breeder. It is also one of those things that they don't inform you about as they want to sell you a bird.

[SevenX]

Yes, it occured to me it might be this case. But when Viky was a baby, he kinda bonded with my previous man (we lived together already when I got the birdie, and broke up when he was about 4,5), and after going through puberty, he became closer with me and started to dislike my man. He displayed mating behaviour, offered to feed me etc. So, there still MIGHT BE HOPE, no?

(But he's really crazy for my new boyfriend. He learned new sounds just for him - they even have a special greeting - and overcame his fear of flying through the door into the bedroom. My BF does not encourage him that much, just communicates with him, but Viky is like me when I was 15 and fell in love with this boy at school )

[liz]

Welcome to the forum.
I rescued Rambo many years ago. He bonded to me then my mother and then my aunt. We were in order of importance to him. When my daughter moved in with us he decided he like her more than me. I was put farther down the line.
My daughter has been away a lot this year and Rambo has taken me back to #1. He divorced her and will no longer go to her. This is odd because he always went from me to her and now he will not go to her.
They have their own personalities so you just need to hang on until he changes his loyalty.

[Pajarita]

First of all, let me say that I am very sorry you are going through this! It's intensely disappointing when our bird falls in love with somebody else and, because they can't be with them all the time, takes it out on us (they always seem to blame us for their beloved absences even if it's not our fault at all!).

The good news is that yes, there is hope! Maybe not hope that you will become 'the chosen one' but definitely hope that you can become a flock mate he likes and respects. The key to this is the following:
1. The bird cannot be overly hormonal because, if he is, there is nothing on this earth that would distract his one-track mind. In order to achieve this, you need to make sure his diet and light schedule are appropriate - and you are in luck because, as the days are getting shorter, if he is kept at a strict solar schedule and you reduce protein intake after he finishes his molt (which should be almost done), he will stop producing sexual hormones very soon.
2. You can't ask for anything. You pretty much need to be his slave and expect no payment In time, he will calm down and begin to ask for your attention -this is inevitable because they NEED the company, touch, attention, etc and, been pragmatic as all animals are, if he cannot have the one he loves, he will love the one he has.
3. A good full spectrum light (CRI 94+ and Ktemp closer to 5000 than 5500) - the good quality light will allow him to produce happy and reward hormones which will put him in a good mood.
4. Strict routines within a strict daily schedule -always the same thing at always the same time of the day -note that I say 'time of the day' which does not mean the time by the clock, you go by the sun, instead. It also means every single day, weekdays, weekends, holidays, etc. For a parrot, there are no exceptions, every day has to be the same -it helps with anxiety and stress which influence mood, too.

Then, when you have him at the resting season (no sexual hormones) and he has gotten used to the daily routine and your not really asking for any physical interaction, you can start incorporating a short routine of target training (always using a high value items as reward but also using them previously as simple friendship tokens).

[seagoatdeb]

Yes, it occured to me it might be this case. But when Viky was a baby, he kinda bonded with my previous man (we lived together already when I got the birdie, and broke up when he was about 4,5), and after going through puberty, he became closer with me and started to dislike my man. He displayed mating behaviour, offered to feed me etc. So, there still MIGHT BE HOPE, no?

(But he's really crazy for my new boyfriend. He learned new sounds just for him - they even have a special greeting - and overcame his fear of flying through the door into the bedroom. My BF does not encourage him that much, just communicates with him, but Viky is like me when I was 15 and fell in love with this boy at school )

Pois can change their loyalties, and I think the males may even do it more often. it really depends on the personality of the Poi too, and different Poi species will do it more often.

Gaugan my Red Belly Poi bonded to me as a baby and she is now 18 years old, and I am the one she has always consistently bonded to. My daughter had a older Sengal who had bonded to her and then changed loyalty to me and the Senegal would not bond back to her no matter how hard we tried. What you have going for you is that the parrot has bonded to you before, and may have one who changes loyalties a lot. Time will tell.