Dreaming of a Grey!

[scrapshana]

Hello all!
It has been my lifelong dream to adopt a Timneh African Grey, and I feel like the time has come in my life where I want to make that dream a reality! However, I have some concerns that need addressing before I do.
First and foremost, how are they in loud, busy homes? I have 6 family members in my household, and 2 of them are toddlers. Will this be too much on him/her? Would a male be more adept at dealing with such conditions?
This breed is new to me, but I am familiar with many bird breeds (parakeets, lovebirds, conures, amazons, finches), so any information would be greatly appreciated!

[Michael]

Hi Shana, welcome the the forum. With so many children in your household it sounds like you must be really busy and have your hands full. How do you expect to find the time for yet another toddler that can move about in 3d?

[scrapshana]

The toddlers are my grandchildren, so their mother is their main caretaker. However, since they do live with me full time, I want to make sure that our household would be a good fit for a Grey. I don't want to put it in a situation it would not be able to handle.
I would love to wait until the kids were all moved out, but that could be a long while off.

[Michael]

Well it's definitely the first consideration that comes to mind. The problem I foresee just based on the quick description of the situation you gave is that the grey would be competing for attention vs the kids from you. These sorts of things can lead to jealousy, frustration, plucking, biting, or screaming. Unless the bird stands a very high priority, you may run into serious trouble. This isn't so much the case with a cockatiel or budgie so you're not enduring that sort of issue right now. Why don't you describe your daily schedule and the kind of one on one time you expect to be able to spend with the bird?

[scrapshana]

Thanks for your input!
I feel I have the time to devote to him/her, even with the grands running around the house. But, there are times when the grands are cuddled in my lap, or next to me on the couch. Would that cause jealousy issues in a grey? Even if they were with me too?
What about my small dogs? They like to sit on my lap or next to me as well.
With the grey being raised with the grands and the dogs, would that help?
What about the terrible two stage I'm reading about in greys. Would it be better to get one that has passed this stage?
Sorry for so many questions, but I'm really wanting to make the best choice!

[Wolf]

Greys, to me, are very special birds due firstly to their intelligence but also because of their emotional capacities. These two qualities are what makes this bird so sought after by people, but they can also be their greatest weakness when it comes to interacting with humans. I have the Congo African Grey which is not quit as passive, so to speak, as the Timneh.
Their intelligence can cause them trouble, because without sufficient one on one time They are prone to boredom. Toy are important for them, but mine doesn't play with them very much as she prefers to be out and about, either perched on me or running around the house on the floor exploring. This makes me have to follow her around from room to room as I also have dogs and cats in the house. They all know to leave her alone and they do, but you cannot be overly cautious when predators and prey live together.
Their emotional capabilities are such as to make for an utterly devoted bird and also one that is highly nervous. They don't respond very well to changes, which can lead to problems such as feather plucking and self mutilation.
They do take a lot of time with you in order to be stable.

[scrapshana]

Thank you for your reply!
I'm finding it difficult to locate an adult, and mostly see babies for sale. Rescues require home visits so won't adopt outside their area. I am watching the rescues in my area (none of which are exclusively bird rescues) to see if any come available.
After reading about the "terrible two" stage Greys go through, which leads to them choosing a different person to bond with, I'm leaning towards getting an adult.
I'm I correct in going this route?
I feel like I have enough time to devote to the bird, but I want to take the time to find the right bird for me....and vice versa. I realize it's a lifelong commitment, so it's like adopting a human child, and deserves the same respect.

[Wolf]

Well, when a parrot is young, pre adolescent, they depend on their parents for everything. From how to eat and drink as well as what to eat and how to find it. Their initial instruction on what is and is not appropriate to their flock dynamics also comes from their parents, and this is the type of bonding that occurs if you get a baby bird. Most people expect that this bond will last a lifetime and are taken aback when they discover that in most cases it does not.
Once the parrot hits puberty, they go through a confusing period during which they hang out with the other adolescent birds and start their search for a mate and this is the bonding that you are looking for. This period in their lives requires a change in roles as they are now adults and their personalities change to fit their new roles as the parents. So if you can adopt an older bird it is more like a what you see is what you get, type of thing.
I would encourage you to adopt from a rescue if it is at all possible, because of this. If you find an adult Grey, Congo or Timneh that accepts you right away, You can be pretty certain that this is the right bird for you. Take the time to get to know it while it is still at the rescue and if the rescue is out of your area, you can try to see if they will work with a rescue that is in your area to rehome the bird. Who knows, they just might. Or you could spend some time as a volunteer at the rescue the bird is at and not only learn more about the bird and how to take care of it but give the rescue the opportunity to get to know you. It may help you to acquire the bird.

[Pajarita]

I don't mean to be the balloon popper but grays, Timneh or Congo, don't do well in busy households. I am sure there are exceptions but I cared for 6 greys and all of them were the same: high-strung and nervous birds that had (have) a hard time adjusting and which would get all stressed out in situations where there is a hullabaloo. They do bond very deeply but that also makes them very jealous of their chosen one and having children and dogs sitting on you is not going to go well with a gray. I have a Congo and a Timneh (both not raised by me, all my animals are rehomes, adoptions or rescues, I don't believe it's right to buy or sell companion animals). The Congo is mild-mannered with pretty much anybody and would not really bite although she would nip if a stranger tried to touch her but she gets real 'antsy' when there is a number of people in the birdroom (and, mind you, I don't allow more than 3 people at a time in there and I supervise the visits) and even with my daughter and grand-daughter whom she knows very well and know the rules (not to move fast, not to raise their arms in the air, not to speak loud, etc). Her body gets tense, her feathers are pressed tight against her body and she starts shaking her head every few seconds. Pookey, the Timneh, was raised by a man and loves my husband and, if she is on him, NOBODY can approach him or try to take her away from him, she would even bite me if I tried even though she is fine with me otherwise (steps up, perches on my shoulder, etc). My husband has a little dog (maltese/bichon mix) he adores (we have 7 but Bunny is the love of his life) which is usually with him and Pookey HATES her with a passion to the point that, if she sees her anywhere around, she would fly out to perch on her back and attack her (poor Bunny is terrified of her and absolutely refuses to go up the stairs to the second floor -where the birdroom is- on her own, she will wait at the bottom of the stairs and only go up walking right behind your heels). I once took in a female Congo that had lived her entire life (she was 15) with a lady who had children and lived in a house with an open plan so the birds cages and the people were always all in the same room and the poor thing was practically catatonic. She, literally, did not take a single step in any direction to get to food or water, I had to put her food and water right under her beak. She had also plucked her entire body and had feathers only on her head by then and it took me years to get her to start behaving more normally (move around, climb, fly, give kisses, etc) and to stop plucking (she never actually did, not completely, she had a spot on the left side of her chest that she continued plucking to the day she died).

[scrapshana]

Yes, that is my fear. Having a nervous bird who picks his/her feathers out.
But, in pet stores, there is a lot of noise and commotion isn't there? What is the difference?
I truly want to make sure I have the best environment. Your comments and advice are very appreciated!