Help?????!!!!

[Polly-anna97]

Hi there,
finally, this weekend after months ad months of anguish as to what bird to get, I got one, and now I feel I have done the wrong thing. I stopped browsing the internet for info on parrots, and stopped coming on here because I was becoming so obsessed, constantly changing my mind, pissing people off all over the place.
Anyway, I decided one day that I was going to go and find a bird. Among the adverts I came across a breeder who really stood out as an exemplary example. Until this point I had been resigned to the fact that I would adopt or rehome an older, needybird, on the advice of Wolf and Parjita. I didn't have much luck with rescues, and trying to rehome a bird from the classifieds. Anyway on this day, looking at the bird ads, I came across this breeder that seemed to stand out somehow, even though I have never really been keen on breeders, or had any real interest in the birds she was breeding- I just wanted to talk to her. We had a great chat, and I really liked her, despite my breeder reservations. She told me that she had two meyers parrots available, and told me what smashing little birds they were. I did some research and I totally fell in love with the meyers parrot. I read the breeders comments on her website, and it all just sounded too perfect. I arranged to make the two and a half hour journey with my boyfriend two days later, to meet the bird.
Previous to this I had my heart set on a pionus, and my idea of a dream find was an adult pionus who was non aggressive at least, and that I could work with, but that didn't need serious, serious work, which I would not have the time for, as I have two cockatiels and a little dog that I need to spend quality time with too. The day before I went to meet the meyers, I did a really stuuuuupid thing, and had a quick google of pionus for sale. WHY?!! I came across this darling blue headed pi- four years old fairly tame- perfect. And just to add insult to injury, it turned out they lived only two miles from the place I was already driving two and a half hours to, to meet the meyers! HOW could I ignore that?! I'm really into fate and the universe intervening and all that.
Anyway, I went to meet the pionus first, and it honestly was love at first sight- for me anyway. I approached her slowly ( I call her a her, but they have been calling her a him, she hasn't been sexed, but she seems like a hen, not the slightest whiff of aggression) , I approached her slowly, she was sitting on the top of a high back chair, and she moved from the far end to get closer to me, ( would this suggest that she likes me, or was it just curiosity?). She let me scratch her head, and she made the pionus wheezing noise, which I have heard indicates stress, and also excitement/ pleasure. Surely she would have moved away if she was stressed? She did walk towards me a couple of times. She gave off that lovely honey smell. I was truly smitten, and knew then, as if I didn't already, that it really was SUCH a bad move to have gone there.

When I met the meyers I initially didn't feel anything, then when after about ten minutes of being there he flew down and snuggled into my neck, I was obviously rather taken with him. But to be honest it was more about what I had heard about the species that was winning me over.
I knew I was going to get one of them, and had to get a cage and other bits either way, so we went to get them, and decided to make the decision on the way- I know- so dumb, right, but my boyfriend, who has hefty commute to work every day, refused to make the journey again the following week, plus I ran the risk of missing out on either bird. I know none of these are good enough reasons to have rushed the decision, but I had been searching forever for the right bird, and was going out of my mind, I want a larger parrot in the same way that most people my age want babies- it's like an aching, longing feeling, plus, they both felt right. My boyfriend was sold on the meyers- really felt a connection, and because I literally could not make a decision, I let him be the decider. I didn't feel sad that he hadn't gone with the pionus, so considered that a sign that the right choice had been made.
Not too long after I had brought the baby home I started to think that I had made the wrong choice. One of the main reasons I had for getting an older bird, was to avoid the whole adolescence thing. I had read that meyers were known for passing though this stage with a great deal more ease than most parrots, and just read great stuff all round. The other stuff that particularly attracted me to them was their ability to be happy to play on their own for some time ( not needy), and the fact that they apparently bond with more than one person. Also the bird came harness trained, so I would be able to take it for walks with my dog, and that way have quality time with both pets at once. But now I'm finding conflicting information, in particular a thread where a woman claimed the worst hormonal/adolescent problem bird she ever encountered was a male meyers!
The lady who is selling the pionus only bought her two months ago from a guy who had her in a tiny cage.She bought it hoping she would make a good companion for her GCC, but the pionus is scared of it, the conure is way too full on for the pianos, and she had been staying in her cage if the conure was out at the same time, so the owner thought she would be happier in a home being the only bird, or around less intimidating ones. The bird is LOVELY, and I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I had gone for the pionus. I do want a bird , who is chilled out and will just 'hang out', and it did read that meyers are like this, but he may not stay like this, and I should have gone for the bird which I know is definitely like this.
I don't know what to do now because I already care too much about the meyers to allow it to go to just anyone, and consequently, I don't feel okay about giving it back to the breeder, or selling it myself, unless I suppose I did home checks and was 100% sure he was going to be happy. Also it all just seems incredibly irresponsible of me, and feel I need to grow up and take responsibility for my actions, but at the same time, surely it's a question of how happy the bird will be with me.The other thing I was wondering was perhaps asking the pionus owner to trade the pionus for the meyers- I imagine it would be a great companioning, as the whole point of her getting the pionus in the first place was companionship for her GCC, and I definitely that the meyers will be happy with this lady- obvious that in her home, birds come first.
Do you think I should just take responsibility for my actions and just keep the meyers? So far he is an absolute darling bird, but I know that doesn't really mean anything along the line. Could I perhaps here from people with meyers experience who could tell me about their experience of the dreaded adolescent stage? How long it lasts etc. I have heard of meyers who seemed to reach maturity with no evident problems whatsoever. I'm just not sure if when this difficult time hits, and he is really going through it, if I will be able to facilitate his passing through. I have heard such awful things, I don't know if I am up to the mark. Of course I will do my absolute best, but what if it isn't good enough, and I end up damaging him? Also I am worried about a bird that I am able to let anyone handle, all of a sudden one day, doing some serious damage to someone- I've heard people say the bite inflicted by the meyers, is the worst bite they have ever sustained, despite having taken them from way bigger birds.
I can't seem to enjoy the meyers properly, because I keep thinking I've made the wrong decision. I keep thinking about the sweet pi, and how she will likely, with the right love and care, stay like that.
I know this is all my fault, and I don't deserve to feel better here, but can anyone make any suggestions that could put my mind at ease so that I can start to completely give myself up to caring for my meyers? Please don't be too hard on me, believe me, I have tortured, and given myself a REALLY hard time already. I am falling fast for the meyers, so maybe, given another week, the decision will have been made all by itself, the pionus will have been sold, and that will be an end to it. I just can't help thinking it was meant to be you know, what with finding the perfect bird in the classifieds, it just so happening to live a couple of miles from the place I was going to anyway, the feeling I got as soon as I saw her, the fact that she walked over to me... She has only bitten her current owner once, and that was when she took hold of her and put her in a travel cage when she first picked her up. This is going to be the pionus's third home in less than two months. I tried to make the owner reconsider and not sell her, after all the bird seems very happy in the wonderful home she has already provided. I don't however think that she would let her go to just anyone.
I think I should ask if she would like to trade, that way I know my meyers is going to a good home. If she says no, then I will take that as a sign that I was meant t keep him. I just can't help thinking that the pionus would be a more content bird with me in the long run, than the meyers. Oh dear. I have got in such a state about this. Can anybody help? PLEASE!!!!

Update- she will not trade, she has found a friend for the conure.
I could handle the bird just wanting to be with me, but I couldn't have a mostly cage bound bird, because it may fly at, and attack other people. Is there ANYWAY of ensuring this doesn't happen? I suppose not, but I would be willing to put the work in.
I don't think I can rehome him, I just wouldn't trust anyone enough.Help!!

[Harpmaker]

Hello Polly-anna97!
I am the proud "mamma" of a 2 year old DNA-sexed Meyer's hen. Such a small bird should have gone through the terrible twos by now but honestly, I never noticed it. Corsair loves me, my husband, and my daughters. My son has done his best to avoid making friends but that is not her fault.

She also will land on and allow limited petting by guests. She seldom accepts food from anyone but me-even family members.

The Iast time she bit me, months ago I was filing her talons. I have filed them several times since without more than warning pinches.

The only parrots I have seen described as "social butterfly" have been Meyer's Parrots.

She is also funny, affectionate, entertaining, exasperating, and several other adjectives. In case you can't tell, I love her, and wish you as much joy with whatever parrots you share your life with as she brings me.

I am reliably informed, however, that males tend to be more aggressive.

[Wolf]

OK, then take a deep breath, one, two, three, now let it out. Relax, it is alright. Really though, you should try to stop stepping on your own toes, you could trip and fall that way and while the results might be spectacular, it would be painful.
I don't have a Meyers Parrot, I do however have its close relative, the notorious devil bird, the Senegal Parrot. Her name is Kiki and now that she is getting over her bitey stage, she is about as sweet a bird as I could ever want. For all practical purposes the Meyers is like a Senegal on valium, which is simply to say that it is a sweeter and less aggressive bird than the Senegal parrot.
Do you feel better yet? I really hope so as I have reached the limits of my ego stroking as it is not really my nature. but that's alright because going by your post, I don't think that I can actually tell you anything that you don't already know about yourself. I might be able to present it to you from a different perspective, but I am not sure that it would do you any good. Yes you are impulsive, but that is not the same as being irresponsible and when used properly can be quite refreshing and a good thing. Unfortunately, that is not how you are using this quality and as a result it does border on the fringes of irresponsibility but your problem is not that you are irresponsible but rather that you are afraid of being responsible and really want someone else to take care of that and make things all better for you because you are afraid that you can't do it yourself. Now that is also the limit of the psycho-babble that I will give out.
Whatever else may be you are now the adopted parent of a wonderous little baby bird and it is up to you to give it a loving home. At present this is really easy, don't clip it wings, feed it a good healthy diet, keep it on a solar schedule and spend a lot of time with it, talking and singing with it. Letting it know that it is loved and just hang out with your new baby. Just take your time and don't push it, do not get in a hurry to begin training as there will be plenty of time for that later. Let the bird set the pace in all that you do together and don't go trying to walk the dog while playing with your bird. Dogs and cats eat birds, it is their nature to do so. You would be better advised to keep them separate from each other.
I am here to help the bird and not to stroke your or anyone else's ego, but if you want honest and caring help with your bird, then I will do the best that I can to help you and the bird.

[Polly-anna97]

I will write more later as am on my way out, but I just hot footed it to the computer to check if I had any replies. I just HAD to thank you both, I was really hoping to hear from the two of you.
WOLF! You cannot know how much you have eased my mind, and how grateful I am for the time and care you taken to help me out. As I said I will write more, I just had to thank you right now. I think you're the bees knees.

Harpmaker, I was hoping I would hear from you as the owner of a meyers. I am heartened by your happy story, but somewhat disheartened to know that I own what is reputed to be the more aggressive of the sexes. I will try my best to work with this. He already is VERY beaky, and I know at this stage his beak will be used very much as a tool of exploration, but it can be quite painful already, and I am anxious to remedy this as soon as possible.

[sidech]

Hello,

I don't know your story, but it seems to me that you're the anxious type, and having all these conversations in your head about any possible thing that could go wrong. You have a baby and are already womdering about adolescence problems, biting and so forth...

Why don't you enjoy the present and worry about the rest when and if it happens ? Not all birds are like you read in books or on the internet... Every situation is different. The only thing you need to work on is your own abilities as a parrot caretaker.

As far as going for the pionus, forget it ! Chances are you will be worried about even more problems with an adult parrot. Babies are usually easier for beginners, which seems to me is what you are.

Relax, breathe, and enjoy life !

[marie83]

You know what? In some ways I think you are taking responsibility because you've done your research and your expecting "what could go wrong" as a parrot owner I think this is really important to expect the worst but hope for the best because that way you know exactly how to nip things in the bud before they become a big deal.

On the other hand I think you are spending too much time worrying. I think your a bit like me and responsibility scares you but if you had a baby you couldn't just send it back, you would make the most of it and learn what you could. You obviously care a hell of a lot about birds, lord knows I really regretted getting my GCC at times and wondered if I had made the right decision, if he would ever stop biting me etc. Does that make me uncaring? I don't think so but I felt like sh*t at the time about it all. We have the best relationship now even though I still get bitten from time to time (sorry its part of the parcel). Anyway I did care, I cared because I felt like he wouldn't be biting if he was happy, I cared because I knew I couldn't rehome him despite "knowing" I was making him miserable...

...but I put my all into giving the birds the best (they still don't have the best but rome wasn't built in a day, I make improvements as I go a long).

Also you care because you wouldn't be here, you would just have sloped off the forums silently, given up the bird and got on with your life.
Trust me you care, you are responsible, you will keep your bird, you will carry on learning, you will make him as happy as you humanly can- but only if you put in the work, have faith and determination to get through anything. For now though, enjoy him and set the foundations for your bird to have a happy adult life.

[Wolf]

As I said earlier it is not that you are irresponsible, because you are not. Responsibility scares you, but to tell the truth it scares most people too, they however just don't admit to it. I said nothing about how much you do or do not care as that is evidenced be the amount of worry that you express, which is a lot, so we all know that caring is also not an issue.
So really you just need to relax and enjoy building a good solid relationship built of mutual respect and trust with your bird, for the next couple of months and then you can consider starting to train your friend.

[liz]

Instead of second guessing your self just remember the song "If your not with the one you love than love the one your with".

I rescue Rambo and fell in love with him even though I really had no knowledge of Amazons. Before this forum the only one I could learn from was Rambo.

[Polly-anna97]

Thank you sidech, marie83, wolf and liz so much for your comforting words. I feel terribly self indulgent and drama queen- esque now, especially when I see posts about half dead senagals being found in the street.
LIZ! WHOA! I SERIOUSLY, have had that song on repeat in my head for a few days now! Crazy! Really helpful actually. Kind of confirms things, to have a stranger out of the blue, tell me the song I ought to have in mind- not a particularly crazy popular one of late at that- when I actually have. Fantastic!