Introvert looking for a life time companion

[Adgistis]

Hello,

I am a 22 year old female, I do freelancing Graphic Design so I never have to leave my house. I have really bad social anxiety so my job is perfect for me. Only problem is I feel isolated from the rest of society. I have a boyfriend but he is in the military, I do not have any other friends than him. I am very thankful to have him but I really need someone to talk to. I am really bad at making friends and bounding with people and it makes me feel horrible. I have been researching for a while now and I feel that a bird is the best solution to help with my anxiety and depression. My boyfriend and I do not move around. I want a bird that I can hangout with all day and talk to as I work on my computer. I am thinking either a Parrotlet or Goffin Cockatoo.

I am up for any suggestions you guys have or any information I may of missed out on!

[liz]

Welcome to the forum. You just made contact with a whole neighborhood of friends. That is how I think about them.

I know how you feel. If it were not for my pets I don't know what I would do. My PTSD keeps me home even though I am tire of being home. There just doesn't seem to be a place that I am happy.

I joined this forum in 2011. The members are the best friends I have. I moved recently and left the only two friends I had but I still have my friends in the forum. Bless them. I would be so alone.

Most of the forum agree that the best bird is an older bird rehomed or rescued. They need us and we get the advantage that they have already gone through their hormonal shock. Each one has it's own personality. My best suggestion is to find a parrot rescue and take a little time to volunteer there. Yes, you have to leave your house but if you make internet or phone contact first you can build a bond with someone there and it is not as hard to go.
I will keep you in my mind. Remember we are a group of people waiting to meet you.

Please give us more info.

[Wolf]

Wow ! that is quite a difference in birds that you are thinking of. Could you tell me what it is about them that draws you to them ?
what are you looking for in a bird and what do you think that you have to offer each one of them? I am asking because they are so vastly different in their requirements and in what they can offer you.

[Pajarita]

Yes, Wolf posed a very good question but the other one that comes to mind is why did you decide on a parrot instead of, say, a cat, for example?

[Adgistis]

Welcome to the forum. You just made contact with a whole neighborhood of friends. That is how I think about them.

I know how you feel. If it were not for my pets I don't know what I would do. My PTSD keeps me home even though I am tire of being home. There just doesn't seem to be a place that I am happy.

I joined this forum in 2011. The members are the best friends I have. I moved recently and left the only two friends I had but I still have my friends in the forum. Bless them. I would be so alone.

Most of the forum agree that the best bird is an older bird rehomed or rescued. They need us and we get the advantage that they have already gone through their hormonal shock. Each one has it's own personality. My best suggestion is to find a parrot rescue and take a little time to volunteer there. Yes, you have to leave your house but if you make internet or phone contact first you can build a bond with someone there and it is not as hard to go.
I will keep you in my mind. Remember we are a group of people waiting to meet you.

Please give us more info.

Sadly the bird rescue near my house was shut down I will look into any other places that may rescue birds. Thank you for the response though it made me a feel a lot better I have tried different therapists but nothing has worked. I am very happy around animals though. They do not make me exhausted and nervous like people do. I find that being around animals give me a lot more energy. Sadly it has effected my life a lot, I was not able to go to day school for college and I struggled all throughout my other schooling trying to deal with it, it is something I have had since a young age. The last real friend I made besides my boyfriend was five years ago, I have tried reaching out to others but I never really connect with them. It is frustrating that at my age I will be missing out on a lot of things, but I am grateful for what I already have. It really bothers me how much I am socially dependent on my boyfriend though. I hope things go better for you !

Wow ! that is quite a difference in birds that you are thinking of. Could you tell me what it is about them that draws you to them ?
what are you looking for in a bird and what do you think that you have to offer each one of them? I am asking because they are so vastly different in their requirements and in what they can offer you.

The parrotlets seem very sassy and adventurous I think that is very cute I can picture myself buying my parrotlet a bench above my computer and watching him fly around as I work and the odd time come sit on my desk and poke at my fingers. They seem like the kind of bird that has a big bird personality. Personality is the most important thing to me. Plus they have very cute voices.

The Goffin Cockatoos would have to be my favorite, they need constant attention just like me. I can picture myself having him everywhere with him sitting on my shoulder. I love how big and loving their personalities are. I love to watch tv too so I feel like they be the kind of bird that would sit and watch tv with me while making cute remarks. I love their voice the best, I could listen to it forever. My only worry about the Goffin is I have a lot of health problems for my age and I worry about not being able to be around for the 50 years that he will live.

Biting for both species do not bother me at all, if they are biting it must be for a reason and I should find out what that reason is and be patient and try to help.


I can offer them endless time and affection. I love to be loving and I understand animals have personal boundaries the same as people do so I am very patient. I am very outspoken and shy and I feel like animals get my emotions better than people do. All of my hobbies are at home, same with my work so I can have someone to share them with. I want to be a better person and I feel a bird would really help me and I be able to help them, I feel that my anxiety would calm down then I be less likely to be depressed. How can you be depressed with a little bird is calling for you asking for love?

Yes, Wolf posed a very good question but the other one that comes to mind is why did you decide on a parrot instead of, say, a cat, for example?

Cats really scare me. I have had a lot of really bad experiences with cats in the past. I have a very passive personality and I know that not all cats are not this way but the ones I have met would stalk me and attack me. I be sitting down and they jump on the top of the chair and start hissing. Really freaks me out. I am just not a cat person. I have tried I think they are cute but not a suited pet for myself.

[liz]

I really hope to live as long as Rambo but he would easily be taken in. I did not intend to get such a young bird as Myrtle but she needed help so I took her on. She is a equivalent to a bratty 2 year old girl. I am sure she will need someone when I am gone.
They needed help and I am still here so I will help them.

[shiraartain]

You said that you do graphic design, just want to warn you that parrots tend to love a good old game of "chase the tablet pen" and "pull out the laptop keys". We had to get rubber keyboard covers...despite our best attempts to prevent it, our conure managed to get to every.single.laptop. and if I'm using the drawing tablet, I have to put him in my lap and pull out the keyboard shelf so that he contents himself with snuggling in my lap instead of chasing my hand and wrestling the pen.

If you can't find a rescue, try meeting rehomes. You can take your boyfriend with you to make sure you both can live with the bird.

I don't have experience with the birds you mentioned, but other members should be able to explain to you the cons of those breeds, as it looks like you've looked into the pros.

[Wolf]

I think that you have romanticized the realities of keeping a parrot. To a degree that can be kind of cool, but it really needs to come after the realities of what it takes to give them a good home, things like knowing about their diets and what type of schedules they need in order to insure their wellbeing. It takes a lot to provide the emotional support that these birds need and would normally get from their flocks. I can't really tell how much research that you have done on the different parrot species and these two in particular. Both of these species require a lot of supervision and both are somewhat prone towards biting, although for different reasons. They are wild animals and that makes it difficult to provide the things that they need in order to be relatively happy.
Parrotlets do indeed have a lot of personality, in a very small body and they are pretty much fearless with a strong tendency to bite first and then not ask questions afterwards, preferring to bite a few more times to be certain. It is not their fault that they are so pretty or cute or adorable with a buzzsaw that has a mind of its own on the front of their face. It is just that with as small as they are their flight or fight response kicks in that fast. They take a lot of supervision just to keep them safe in a human environment and they require a lot of one on one time on you to reassure them as well as to gain their trust. Of course you could opt for a little help by providing them with a mate right from the start. I say this from experience as I have had one for a year and just got her a mate.
Cockatoos are definitely noted for being cuddle bugs and also require a lot of one on one attention, but the flip side of this is that they are also very jealous birds and even though you have picked a Goffin's Cockatoo which is one of the smaller species, they are still large enough to inflict serious damage with their powerful and large beaks.
I am not attempting to discourage you in any way as the truth is that I have downplayed everything that I have said, I am trying to encourage you to do more research.

[Pajarita]

If you have your heart set on a plet, you would have to get a pair because they simply do not do well on their own no matter how much attention we try to give them. So much so that lots and lots of breeders are no longer breeding them because of the huge amount of complaints and people trying to return them after a while (they tend to bite A LOT and to pluck when they are unhappy). And, although they can talk, chances are, they won't.

Goffins are, like all toos, Velcro birds, VERY loud, VERY hormonal and VERY destructive. They also tend to bond too deeply with one human and attack anybody who, in their opinion, is competition (read, your boyfriend).