Help me find the right bird, but tell it to me straight

[bluepaint]

I am having a hard time figuring out which species is right for us/which one would be happy in our family.

My bird experience: I grew up owning budgies and loved them, but have been waiting to get a bird until my youngest was school age (he just started 1st grade), and developmentally ready to be calm around a bird. So I'm aware of things like step-up training, seed messes, nipping, etc.

I'm kind of leaning towards a bird that's more touchy-feely, more personality than a budgie, but I don't want to get in over my head. My oldest has asthma, so a cockatiel probably wouldn't be a good idea because of their dustiness. I'm thinking about a hand raised green cheeked conure, but willing to get an English budgie if our lifestyle wouldn't be right for a GCC. Any other suggestions are welcome, too!

I have everything ready and set up for a feathered friend:
- a cage in our living room (inside dimensions 32''L x 20''W x 35''H with 3/8" bar spacing)
-natural tree branch perches (no sand covered ones)
-a few bird-safe toys (chewing wood, bells and a ball)
-a table top play gym, etc.
-many, many hours of internet research on balanced diets, gentle training methods, bird safety (no avocados, no teflon, etc),

Here's a rundown of our lifestyle:

-I have school age two boys, both relatively calm and gentle with animals, even small animals. (We had two dumbo rats that just passed away that they were very sweet with, the rats loved them back, too.)

-We homeschool, so we're home for more than 6 hours most days, and often are home all day. However, our schedule is different each weekday: We're gone Tues and Mon mornings for P.E. and group classes, and Friday afternoons for "recess" playdates with other homeschoolers. Every other week we have an all day field trip on Fridays. Every summer we go visit family across the country for up to two weeks. (I have a volunteer bird sitter I trust locally already lined up.)

-We have a single family home, though that could change to an apartment as my husband's job may make him move next year.

-Ready to do training sessions for 10-15 min every morning once we've established a trusting relationship (step up, potty training, etc.)

-We'd love to bring the bird over to the table top birdy gym at our school table while we do morning school work. (We did this with our rats, and although the rats chewed the corners of their papers, it was a good time for them to get out of the cage and have some casual interaction with us.)

-We'd also have a set time around lunch every day (except field trip days) that we devote more solely to playing with the bird for 30 min-60 min.

-We'd also often have time to play in the evenings before and after dinner, but it will depend on the day.

However, I don't know if our schedule would be more stressful, or better suited to a bird than say someone who works a more predictable full or part time job. I already know something as needy or loud as a large parrot would not be a good fit. I need it to be OK with kids as well. But, I also want a sweet, interactive pet, not just a "decoration", not something that will be terrified of us like finches or canaries.

Thanks SO much for your help!

[shiraartain]

Hello!

First thing that concerns me is that you want to potty train your bird. This, as you may have heard, is not good for your bird. Secondly, you seem to have an idealized bird in mind. I will be among the many telling you that bird behaviour is unpredictable. There are many downsides to birds that one doesn't think of beforehand. Your bird may decide it doesn't want to sit on the playgym and is more interested in chasing your children's pencils around during homework time and in chewing up their papers. I know my parrot likes to chase after my pen when I'm trying to study.

Thirdly, when I did research, I heard GCCs were one-person birds. My own GCC gets along well with the entire family, but he's flighted and has a choice as to who he wants to be with. He DOES NOT like my youngest sisters as much as he likes everyone else and is not above biting them. He went through a period where one of them made him so mad he would see her and fly at her face to bite her. (This is not something that can be solved with just clipping, he was unclipped but sometimes opted to chase after them on foot).

Lastly, I would recommend that if you do decide to get a bird, get one from a rescue. That way, you won't have to deal with "bird puberty" and the behavior of the bird that chooses you is the behavior you will see consistently.

[bluepaint]

I had not heard about the potty training being bad. I'm not dead set on it, so if it's bad, I won't do it! I had been watching the "Manda and Rio" youtube channel (A seemingly resposnible GCC owner and vlogger) and she was recommending it, so I thought it was OK.

I know the bird won't just sit there during school time not chewing on papers or pencils. That's fine if it does! My kids will probably think it's funny. We did that with our rats, and they'd crawl all over their books, gnaw on worksheets. That's OK. However, the one person bird thing does worry me some. I am worried about a bird that I can't have out if it's going to attack my kids.

[Pajarita]

Well, the 'seemingly' in the 'seemingly responsible parrot owner' is the operative word here. No real responsible parrot owner would potty train his/her bird. Birds have a super high metabolism and need to poop every few minutes so training them implies teaching them to 'hold it' which is never good. Neither people nor animals should 'hold it', it ends up enlarging the lower intestine (so as to 'hold' more accumulated poop in it without evacuating it) and that has negative physical consequences (birds can end up with cloacal prolapse, children with encopresis). I always have my two senegals with me while I sit at my computer in the mornings and, as much as I hate it, I always end up with several poops on my clothes so I have to constantly get up and wipe it (a real pain in the neck!) but that and the chewed up furniture, moldings, books, having poop all over the furniture and floors, holes in your clothes, etc is part of living with a parrot.

Well, you asked for it so I'll give it to you straight. There is no such thing as a 'family parrot'. Parrots are monogamous by nature so they all tend to bond deeply with one individual and not a whole family. If you are lucky, have an impeccable husbandry and put lots of work and time into it, you end up with a parrot which is content in his life and accepts all other members of the family as flock mates - but that usually means no aggression, it doesn't really mean loving interaction with all of them. Not after they become sexually mature.

Aside from that, you have several good things going for you:
1. the fact that you are home during the day would help a lot with getting a content parrot (because they need to be kept at a strict solar schedule)
2. the fact that your children are at an age where they will listen is good - although at six, they don't really understand or obey much.
3. the fact that you are trying to inform yourself correctly as to the possible expectations (can't have any )

Personally, in your case, I would go with a male/female pair of English budgies. They will be happy because they will be with each other, they are a good size for children, not too bitey and much calmer than regular budgies, not destructive and easy to feed. But interaction will not be the same or anywhere near what they had with the rats, mind you!

[bluepaint]

Thanks so much for your honesty and information. Guess I need to look for some English Budgies.

[rachaelslp]

I know that this was not mentioned before, but do you know anything about caiques? My sister has one and it is friendly to pretty much everyone. It's very active and not too large. (they can be expensive, but a rescue might be a possibility!).

[Pajarita]

Caiques are cute little clowns but they also tend to be one person birds. I don't know how old your sister's is but the young ones act completely differently from the mature ones.