What every potential parrot owner should know

[KimberlyAnn]

Today my husband worked a 16 hour day. This is after working a 16 hour day the day before. (Hug your local tow truck driver, they deserve it!) He came home and didn't say a word to anyone and I heated up his plate of food. He's diabetic and anyone who lives with a diabetic knows you leave them alone if they are tired and hungry! LOL I think I got a grunt of thanks and maybe a smile when I put the plate in front if him.

On normal days, Emmi bounces towards him on the back of the couch and waits for him to wash his hands and change his clothes before the big hello. Then he spends the next few hours with her before bedtime. My time with her is the few hours before this and we keep our morning schedule the same way. This has been our routine for two months now. Weekends and Fridays she gets way more attention of course!

But today he didn't come to her right away. He had to sit down and eat. Blood sugar was low-ish. He ate slow too because he was dead tired.

Emmi on the other hand was pacing the whole couch. She bobbed her head. She said "Pretty bird!" over and over. We think that's her name for him. She twirled and jumped and waved, but he hardly noticed her. I tried to pick her up, but she didn't want me...she wanted HIM! Then she just sat there looking at him from the couch and stayed still for a long time just watching him. She looked so sad. So forgotten.

It really got me thinking about something my vet said on Emmi's first visit when I asked how much attention is too much attention. (I had read about parrots needing independent time while you are home, which I now don't agree with) "Give her the attention you know you can keep up for life so they can count on it." When she (the vet) said that, I thought...of course! I will always give her lots of attention! I'm just that kind of person! I have loved and given forever homes and daily love and attention to animals I've had in the past. But that's not so for everyone who gets a pet and my vet sees more first time bird owners that will never return to her. They will call her later to ask about how to handle behavior issues...then nothing. She never hears from them again.

Imagine Emmi going to a different home where she's cute and does funny things and even learns to talk. The kids and the parents love her and show her off to friends and family. Emmi gets love from the second everyone gets up in the morning, to when she goes to bed. She's a bird. Birds like her are never alone in the wild. This is normal to her.

But then slowly, that newness wears off. The kids come home from school and say a quick hello to Emmi and then go play video games or go outside to hang with friends. They may want to take her out once a week or so. Mom and dad come home from work and say a quick hello, give food and water, then go make dinner or finish work they have taken home from the office. No one pays attention to the bird hardly anymore. Life got in the way. Things just got "too busy."

Arguments happen about who has to take care of the bird. No one wants to touch the bird anymore because she bites and makes too much noise. She seems fearful when people come up to her cage because she is now used to being alone. Then one night, someone realizes the bird was a bad idea and posts an ad on craigslist. Emmi gets a new home and she sucks up the new attention only to have the newness wear off again with her new family. She's become a huge burden for the people who own her because they were not prepared to maintain the level of care and time that is needed.

I just can't imagine this happening to Emmi. It makes me sad just thinking about it. Yes, the newness has kind if worn off with my step kids to a point...but that's normal and expected. They are young. Even their friendships can be fleeting. This is why we don't buy the kids pets. It's unfair to expect them to commit to something for years when they are not ready. Animals are not a good way to teach responsibility. But Emmi has my husband and I. We won't fail her.

Human relationships always evolve. The same goes for our relationships with our pets. I don't have the same relationship with Emmi that I did when she first came here and it's only been two months. She was cute and cuddly and was never any trouble. She was EASY! Now she's a demanding little green thing who wants to explore and get into everything and costs a ton of money. She will get older and she won't be that cute baby bird anymore. But I love her more deeply as I get to know her. She's growing up and with that comes change. She's always surprising me with new bits of personality. I want to find new ways for her...not to keep her busy so I don't have to deal with her, but keep her exploring the world around her so she can be fulfilled. I know I will never find the final routine and diet and toys that will fit her 25 year life. I will always be evolving to give her what she needs to be happy and healthy.

Living with a parrot is not at all what most people think it might be like. It takes hours a day of your time and your love. It's like having a human infant that you can leave in a cage for short periods of time. When you get home, your bird must be with you. He or she will be as important as your children. The list of dangers, sickness, diet, and environment is much longer then any of the common pets and it takes hours to research. But the most important thing to consider is time.

I'm not hear to say if you can't do XYZ, then you should not own a bird! I'm here to say that I wish people would look at their situations and see if they are willing to change their life for a bird. There is nothing wrong with someone saying, this is not for me. Not everyone can do this. The best thing anyone can do is wait. Wait a year and research. The feeling of wanting a parrot may pass, which means it might pass around the same time the bird is acquired. We waited three years. I'm glad we did. Even so, we were not fully prepared. Just ready to take things on. We were ready to share our lives with a beautiful creature. We did not want a lonely parrot in a cage.

I saw a slight glimpse in Emmi's eye tonight that reminded me of all of this. Tonight could have been the start to the imaginary family that Emmi could have gone to live with, but it was not. I watched my husband put his plate in the sink and sit on the ground in front of the couch, a gesture that Emmi knows well. It's play time! She jumped over to him so fast that she fell on her face twice. Lol And she rubbed her whole body all over his hands and face. He scratched her little green cheeks and went to town with their rough and tumble play. They spent an hour together and when I went to put Emmi to bed, I came out to find my husband sound asleep on the couch. I told him to go to bed. He said zero words to me tonight! Zero! LOL I got a hug and a kiss goodnight, but that was it. I'm ok with that. He put his last bit of energy where it was needed tonight. I'm proud of him.

He knows how much Emmi needs his attention. He's dedicated to her needs (ours too!) and I don't need to ever remind him. He's sad when he has to work late and he does not get to see her because she has to go to bed, but he knows she needs to sleep at the right times and would be upset if I kept her up just for him. Yes, our life has changed drastically since getting Emmi, but she's not a burden. We happily clean her cage and cut up fresh foods. We happily talk about how we can better her life and how I should make the next batch of toys. We happily discuss how we should go about training her and teach the kids how to handle her. It's hard and time consuming work, but it seems easy and natural to us.

I guess I just wanted to write this (I'm sure it's been written a million times before) and give my own account on what it means to own a parrot or even a cat or dog! So many here already know exactly what I'm saying, but I see new people here and on other boards looking to get a parrot and have not thought much through. This is for them. I know there are millions of birds like Emmi in the world who count on humans to take care of their needs. I've often felt compassion for them, but it's never hit home so much as it did tonight for me.

[cml]

Very well written post!

I do agree with you, but this is also why I dont think a parrot should be alone and instead should have buddy. A lot of american websites/forums (sorry for the generalisation but from reading tons of forums this what Ive concluded) advocate that a single bird is a good thing, sometimes even better than having two. This is nonsense to me as you cannot provide the interaction a bird needs, even if you dedicate a lot of your day to your parrot.

You wrote that you dont want your bird to suffer from first having got a lot of attention, and then seeing the attention and time turn into a decline, but this is going to happen. It will go in cycles, for all parrot owners, no matter how dedicated you are. One week you will feel a lot more motivated than another. This isnt bad parronting, its just how it is, and its the same with human interaction. Some days you dont feel like talking to everyone all the time, and sometimes you do.

This is were 2 birds come in, they always have each other. It isnt an excuse to not spend time with them, but rather to insure that ALL their time is rich and that they lead a happy life. Its not fair to put their well being solely into your hands, even if you always wish the best for them. What happens if you need to go to the hospital for a few weeks?

I spend hours everyday with my birds, and train with them both seperatly daily. Having two birds is not much more difficult than having one, and its so rewarding to see how much they love each other, and how much richer their life is than it would have been if they were alone. Seeing them play together, preen each other etc warms my heart. Its also a way for me to know that they are happy when me and my wife are at work (they are alone for about 5-6 hours a day).

I am sort of rambling here, but the essence is this: Having two parrots will make their lives a lot richer. Its not an excuse to spend less time with them, but a way to ensure that they lead a happy life. You still need to interact as much with them, as well as take care of both birds.

[Eric&Rebecca]

We will always be able to be there for our birds but we do have two cockatiels... I think sometimes they need birdie company as well as human company. One isn't a substitute for another but it certainly helps them be entertained nearly the whole time they are awake.

Even when we are away my parents are happy to spend time with them and they get plenty of attention then too.

I agree with this if you can't give everything AND keep it up then there's no point.

[cml]

We will always be able to be there for our birds

Do you really think so? Everyday for equal amounts of time (many hours), for the rest of their lives?
I am sure it will vary over time, and go up and down. Nothing else in life is constant, what makes you think that you can do this with birds? I am not saying that you wont care for them everyday (which I know you will, as will I with my birds), but I dont believe it will be for a fix amount of predetermined time, portioned exactly equally everyday for the rest of their lives.

[Eric&Rebecca]

Well yes, my partner owns his own company and works from home and always will, . I will always choose my jobs around spending very little time out the house but I can't see me moving from where I am unless the company goes under which is highly unlikely. We won't move any further than 20 minutes from work and even if we do move that is the category if not we just won't move. That's the decision we made when we got them its lifestyle changing.

Obviously if one of us dies or something (heaven forbid) yes that would change. What I mean is without some very huge happening which is what most owners can say. Of course we go out, but then we make sure that we are home to put them to bed at the right time or we have people over instead or just one of us goes out while the other one stays. I can't see that changing, the birds are like priority numero uno in any decision.

The only time this changes is when we go on holiday, then they are in a different environment but my mum implements the exact same schedule.

I suppose it depends on how extreme you take it because obviously there are minor fluctuations as you quite correctly point out. What my point is that if you're someone who works night shifts or has a lifestyle where you're going to be out a lot and so can't implement a structure for the bird then you shouldn't have one. Of course everyone has occassions where they need to be out but yeah you get my meaning.

[KimberlyAnn]

I think E&R have a lovely home for their birds with lots of attention. They work as a team for their birds in every aspect. They have a fall back plan when they need care for their birds. They have a long history of keeping birds and knew how much attention that was involved. They will keep up the attention. I can bet on it and will surely win.

I have a long history of spending lots of time at home with the animal companions I've had. Everything I do around the house, they pretty much go with. Actually, I think my cat was way more time consuming then Emmi. He was definitely more demanding at times. Lol The chances of me spending less time with Emmi then I'm acustom to spending with a pet or having a lifestyle change is very doubtful. The interest does not wear off for me. Anything can happen, yes. But when making this decision, I looked at the mostly likely outcome, as should everyone. Which is what was on my mind when I wrote this.

The alternative is this:

- Bird only leaves the cage once a week on Sundays because there is "No other time."

- Bird only gets food and water when someone notices they don't have any. Bird goes hungry often and has no way to even forage for food because they are stuck in a cage.

- Cage only gets cleaned "Once in awhile." Mom has to do it because child who wanted the bird won't. Mom blames child for this and here comes the guilt trips which make the child not want to do it even more.

- Bird gets covered when Dad comes home because he can't stand the noise. In fact, this will be the only interaction the bird gets all day unless it's the day that the bird gets over flowing food so it's owners don't have to feed it every day. This bird thinks it's name is "shut up." Wonder why?

- Bird never gets fresh foods. Bird can't eat neatly, then it's only seed or pellets from now on!

- Bird gets stuck in garage for seven years and never leaves its cage. No toys. No interaction. It can hear people sometimes and calls for them, but no one answers. The birds calls are why it's in the garage in the first place.

- Family gets a new bird and suddenly gets a few more before the newness wears off The work is way too much and everyone goes back to their own lives. They rehome most of them, but one and because they were so burnt out...last bird is ignored eventually.

All those blurbs are true stories. I've read about them, I've heard about them in my bird shop or from my vet. It's very sad and it happens all the time to birds, cats, dogs, rats, reptiles, and everything in between.

This is the problem. Not E&R maybe having a change in schedule someday or my husband and I taking some time to discuss having a second bird. Anything can happen in life, but E&R have a deep commitment as do my husband and I. This means our homes will evolve where it's needed. If we need to make changes, we will and we have. I refuse to just go out and get a "bird friend" for Emmi without putting much thought and discussion into it first. Just like we did with Emmi. In time, it will happen. But a bird would be better off landing in any one of our homes as a single bird with working owners who are dedicated to hours of interaction daily, then landing in a home where it will be cold, hungry and forgotten like the stories above.

If the impulse buyers who saw that "Really cool Cockatoo in a pet store that said hello" and post "Hurry! What does a Cockatoo need because the store closes at 6 tonight and I need to have this bird!!!" If they would just wait a week, a month, a year, three years...That's my wish. I know it won't always come true, but it needs to be reminded every so often I think.

[cml]

I dont doubt for a second that both you (and your husband) and EnR are comitted owners. I didnt question it anywhere in my posts either.

I do however think its very unlikely that you can predict 25-50 years depending on parrots, and be 100% sure that you can spend exactly the same amount of time with your birds everyday during that time. Its got nothing to do with how dedicated you are, but with life.

All the scenarios you posted could happen, but its not always a question of extremes.

I acknowledge that my motivation may sometimes sway, that I may have an off day sometimes where I spend a little less time with the parrots, but do you think I am a bad owner?

I train with my parrots close to everyday, and have done so since I got them two years ago.
I spend at least a few hours with them everyday.
They have out of cage time everyday, for at least 2 hours but most often its much longer.
I shower both birds at least every other day.
I clean their cages and areas where they are all the time.
I take a huge interest in their well being and read up, do research, build stuff for them, and plan to make their life even better, all the time.
I prepare their food everyday, and make sure they have veggies often.
I have converted them to water bottles, which I clean and refill daily.
...
I can go on for a long time with this list, I am deeply comitted to my birds and will continue to be so for the rest of their lives.

But to think that you will spend exactly the same amount of time with them everyday, and never change a thing in your interaction, is short sighted and small minded. I think you are unrealistic in saying that you can.

Admitting that you are human doesnt mean you are a bad parront, but rather the opposite Id think.
Saying:

The alternative is this:

is suggesting that as long as you dont act like a robot and give exactly X hours a day, and do exactly these X things, you are a bad parront.

I would never treat my birds like you wrote just because I realise life is something that you live, and that circumstances change during the course of half a century. Heck, when Stitch is getting old I will be long retired. I might have grandchildren during the life span of their lives. Stuff around you changes, its very easy and logical to understand.

I agreed with your first post, and rather liked it as I said in my first reply. But the comments from EnR and now you make me think you are rather unrealistic about life.

I take offense in you implying that nothing else but a stagnant life with exactly the same routines is whats needed for a parrot to live a good life.
I think you are gruesomely wrong.

Also, I dont think you understand why a bird needs a parrot friend from the way you replied to that. Its most definetely not about just "getting a bird friend for your bird". If you think that, or do that, then you dont understand it. We got a second parrot both because we wanted to enrich Stitch life, but also because we wanted a second one, to which we would give a very loving home. I love them both equally.

What you are implying is that you are only getting a bird for your bird.

[KimberlyAnn]

Oh no! I was not implying that at all. You are a great parrot owner! You would NEVER do the things on my list. I know that much about you so far. My list suggests that the parrot gets a ton of attention at the begining and then zero attention at the end and neglect. So much neglect that it can cause death. This is not just missing a day of attention or a having a day that you are gone for way more hours then is expected. Sure, you should shoot for hours a day. That's optimal. But to get any kind of pet and shower it with attention at the start, just to lose interest and keep it confined for the rest of its life with no interaction is just wrong and sad. It breaks my heart. I want people to know that getting a parrot is not like getting a goldfish in a bowl. But you don't fit that category. You will never fit that category. I know you care for your birds.

I do understand why birds need "bird friends." But I am careful with my choices. I still have more research to do with that. I still have to consider what my husband wants to do with that. Do we want to get another green cheek? Or another type of bird? What's best for Emmi? What will our set up be in our new home when we find what we are looking for? That's only a few months away. We didn't think we would be moving so soon, (actually, I thought it would be years from now) but it will be better for all of us and it will be nice to have more space. We will weigh all our options and go from there so we can make the best educated choice.

And yes I'm committed. We waited a long while to get a parrot and we really looked into our lifestyle before we did. I would not have gotten a parrot in my early 20's when I was still going out to clubs and hanging with friends all the time. I'm much more of a homebody now and I can still go out at night on occasion while Emmi sleeps. I have two step kids to take care of now too so I must be home for them too. I don't plan to sail the world or travel to far off places. I've already done that. I don't plan to suddenly have an ultra active live that means I'm away from home for 12 hours a day every day If I was, I would not have a parrot. If something happens along the way, I will adjust just like I always have. Life is all about being able to adjust and evolve. But I'm not planning or want to change my life as it is now. I love my family and friends and the life I have now. I go to work, I go to the gym or short hikes. Or go shopping and out to eat sometimes, but then I come home and be with Emmi and my family.

But I didn't mean to imply that anyone who comes to this board regularly is a bad parrot owner. But if someone happens to come by who is action on impulse alone because they saw a cute YouTube video of a parrot talking...I just hope they stop and think about it and how that parrot will fit into the life they have now. If it works, then great! If they are never home or lose interest easy, then maybe a plant or a new hobby would be better then a pet. Not just a bird, but any pet. I was just trying to bring this post back to what I meant last night. No animal or human deserves to get locked in a cage to never come out. Never get love and care.

[KimberlyAnn]

And if they see it's a daily commitment, maybe they will think twice, see what I'm saying?

[Pajarita]

Unfortunately, from my perspective, CML is 100% correct. None of us foresees not been there for our birds but things happen. People get hit by a car and wake up in the hospital quadriplegic, owners of companies have gone bankrupt, people lose their jobs, they give birth to a child that needs lots of attention due to medical reasons, etc., etc., etc. Life is full of imponderables. It's the way things are and there is nothing any of us can do to prevent them from happening. It's a matter of luck and fate. I've taken in birds that had lived with their original owners for 24, 30 and 50 years. And none of them 'wanted' to give the bird up, they did it because they had no choice. One lady died and the housekeeper found her three days after (and she had over 30 animals). Another one got married for the second time and the husband became abusive so she had to run away in the middle of the night and hide from him so she couldn't keep her parrots. We all have good intentions and if everything always went according to plan, we would never have to rehome our birds but things don't always go according to plan.

So, yes, I absolutely agree that having two bonded birds is the kindest thing you can do for them. And the good thing about GCCs and Senegals is that they still love you just as much as before even when they are bonded to another bird. It doesn't work with male zons (the hens remain sweet but the males get VERY possessive of them) or some conures (but in their case, it depends on how you handle the whole thing) but, in my personal experience, it does work with budgies, tiels, lovies, plets, sennies, linnies, grays, GCC's and toos. As a matter of fact, I believe that giving a bird its own companion is so important that I actively look for them when I don't already have one to offer the new bird. It's the way Nature meant for them to live and I always try to emulate Nature as much as possible in every aspect of my husbandry.