Chance's change of heart?

[GreenWing]

So, it feels a little weird, since I spent so much time working with her in bonding since I adopted her. In the last couple of weeks, Chance has been more nippy in general, making me wonder if she is being hormonal (she is receiving less protein and is more on a solar schedule). She was nippy towards my spouse as well. But, more recently, it is clear that she steps up for my spouse more than she does for me - which is a big change as I was the preferred one since adoption last fall. But today, for example, I offered to step up, and she wouldn't. He then offered to step up and she immediately stepped up for him. He tried to set her back on her play orb and she tried to nip him, like she didn't want to step off. She flutters her wings when he is near and it seems that she prefers him right now.

It sounds ridiculous, being that I'm the one who cares for her, that I feel a little irritated that Chance is now preferring my spouse. I was the one she preferred, until now. But is fickleness normal for a Grey? Will Chance go back to preferring me or am I relegated to being part of the flock, rather than her "mate"?

Also, Chance makes this cooing sound for him a lot, she does it for me, too, although I am not sure what this means. Do Greys coo? I should mention that my spouse makes the sound back so maybe she thinks that he will be her mate?

I should add that while her age is uncertain, she is past five years of age and I was told she is between 6 to 9 years old.

[Wolf]

I would not be surprised if she is wanting to bond with him, I mean that the normal bonding even when it is cross species is between the male and female and I am quite certain that Chance is aware of the difference. Kiki, my Senegal started off with bonding with my Lady, I was only there for something to chew on, although I am the one that takes care of the birds daily needs. After the first spring with us she re bonded with me and has just recently accepted my Lady as part of the flock.
It doesn't matter if he likes birds or not, he is the male in your house and that is her natural choice for whom to bond with. In fact Pajarita has that very thing occurring at her home, She has an African Grey parrot who has chosen to bond with her husband, who does not encourage this in any way, and in fact avoids this bird as much as possible. But, then you already know this.

[GreenWing]

Thanks so much for the reply and insight, Wolf,

When I adopted Chance, it was known, or at least thought, that she hated men. At the shop, she only would allow certain female clerks to handle her, and then myself, as I visited her often. She let ONE male customer handle her at one visit, but never allowed the male clerks to handle her. Chance "choose" me and I thought she was basically, well, a lover of the ladies. That's the reputation she had.

So, it's surprising that she has made this change. Not only did I think my bird was a girl's bird, as she bonded with the human female she lived with before me and did not like the man, that she would suddenly act like she prefers my spouse.

But she cooed at me today and blew me kisses and talks to me more, so maybe Chance is just confused. Or maybe even angry at me. She does hold grudges for ridiculous things.

[Wolf]

Or perhaps she is just overcoming her " hatred of men" and doesn't like you any less. Change is often like a pendulum and when it swings so far one way it must swing that far the other way as well. Perhaps she was just feeling generous towards your spouse, for a change.

[cml]

Dont despair! Their loyalties change, but they can change back too. Stitch prefered me the first year, then my wife for two years and now he's back to choosing me over her. During this time he's still been very nice to us both .

[Pajarita]

Personally, I don't believe in the 'opposite' gender bond between parrots and humans. I think it has more to do with which gender they felt close to while they were babies, growing up or what they are used to and, because they remember this, it sometimes becomes kind of like a pre-requisite for their liking you from day one. But they do outgrow this as time goes by and learn to like either gender and, sometimes, when this happens, chemistry takes over and they end up preferring the person whose personality clicks best with them. Pookey, the TAG which prefers my husband, was owned by a man for the first 7 years or her life and she remembers this so she wants my husband to pay attention to her plus, there is obviously the matter of chemistry there, too, because she likes me but she loves him (she is a bit of a masochist, I guess).

Don't obsess over this development. It won't do you any good because whatever will be will be... Just keep on going as you have been doing and hope for the best but, if it doesn't go the way you want it, don't take it personally. A dog is won over by food and love but parrots are much more complex than that and, sometimes, they don't choose the one that loves them the most (this is what I always tell Pookey, that she chose the 'wrong' person -LOL)