This can't be happening

[marie83]

Liz could you walk away from your children if you were in the same situation?

Sorry if I sound harsh.

I just resent any suggestion that any living thing is more or less important than another. I love those kids like I would love my own- I'm 99% certain of that. Just because I never wanted to have children doesn't mean I don't want the ones that have found their way into my life to stay.
I love my feathered and furry family the same way- I didn't give birth to them either.

[Wolf]

Your first thought was to take your birds and run but you had no where to go.
You never wanted to be a parent and especially not of another child.

You are answering your own questions. You are thinking of giving up you babies for the security that you BF provides. I have been married 3 times and security does not exist. According to the Bible a wife is to submit to her husband. I did and changed everything to what he wanted. When we divorced I had nothing left of my own but my children.

Think into the future. If he does not provide the security you need you could end up alone and without your babies.

Search for a solution beyond your BF. Don't give up what you love.

I don't understand how a book written 100 years after the death of the actual people involved, taken from about 8000 manuscripts that disagreed on everything, and revised in the 16th century by someone who didn't believe in it, could possibly have anything to do with this. Also this is a bird site and not a religious discussion site. Freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.
I would much rather discuss bird, which is why I hang around here.

[Pajarita]

I assume he lives with his mother so how often does he visit? Because, if it was a couple of days a week, you should be able to manage by putting the birds in a room with air purifiers as long as the kid doesn't go into the room. The only allergen birds have is the dander which is actually feather dust and, because feathers are made of protein, some people are allergic to that particular type so, when they breathe it, their bodies react BUT as long as they don't breathe it, there is no real exposure.

You could also ask the doctors to test for that particular type of protein because he might be allergic to cats and dogs but maybe not birds. I have COPD from having asthma my entire adult life but as long as I take my preventive (inhaler twice a day), keep the birdroom clean, the birds bathed (and I bathe them only once a week and some of them not at all so this is not even what you would call really that effective to suppress the allegens), the air purifier and the humidifier (it helps because the water in the air adheres to the little dander motes and, as it makes them heavier, they fall instead of floating around in the air) running, I am fine.

[marie83]

I don't mind considering religious beliefs but tbh I don't think that's what Liz was saying- I think she more meant that you can only rely on yourself and the decisions you make. I think she was saying that she made mistakes based on what society believed she was "supposed" to do.

I think she was saying I need to do what it takes to keep me and the birds happy. I do agree with that to a point in that I need to be self sufficient for my own sake but its just not that simple when every piece of the picture completes it- The birds and furries are a big part of my life but so is my boyfriend and his children it was that I was objecting to more than anything. I have more than my own needs to consider here and I need to keep hold of my pets believe me I do, its that fact that I need to see beyond.

[Wolf]

I understand that I am probably a bit sensitive to it ( religions) as I went through serious, life threatening abuse when young, by people preaching this particular religion try very hard to be respectful of other peoples rights to believe as they choose, but I also think that there is a time and a place for everything under the sun. And I will leave it there, I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful.

[liz]

Wolf, I am so sorry for what you had to go through.

Marie, what I am saying is that he needs to deal with the future for he and his kids. But you cannot take second place. Don't let anyone do that to you. You have to deal with your future and your kids.

It should be a 50 50 work out.

[Matt Alyk]

I really don't know anything to say other than "I hope things will work out". Maybe you could devote a room to the animals and have an air purifier in there? But, that would probably cause pet to pet conflict. And, I don't think that anybody just has two extra rooms sitting around... All I can say is, I hope things get better for you.

[DanaandPod]

Well Liz, not only have you helped my conviction that i will never get married...lol...but also I agree with your advice... I am thinking that you should do what you would do if he was not in your life...? Sometimes i think that people in general are quick to make a decision regarding animals instead of getting creative with a solution. Is there a family member near by with extra space where you could house them but care for them yourself? I feel for your allergies. I have severe allergies to animals with fur that nobody understands. Sounds like your bond with your pets is much like as if they were your child. I don't make enough either, but have had to cut corners and make things work my whole life so am used to it.... where there is a will there is a way... Sometimes i am unfortunate for not have had a different type A personality or a different life... then other times I can't imagine working in an office. Maybe there is a roomate situation that would work for you???? I would think that if your bf understands and loves you... he would try to help in this situation to bend things to make them work for all...?

[marie83]

I am kind of shocked people are suggesting I walk away from children to be honest.
No decisions have been made as yet.

Pajarita that won't work as dander gets everywhere and yes they have confirmed all pets. I'm aware of the testing as I've been through it all myself. I just haven't seen the results with my own eyes as yet. Plus the mum would never allow it, she's always tried to stop my bf having them and this is just further ammunition so if she blocks me from speaking to his doctors I know she's just playing things.

Danaandpod- I should do what I would do if he wasn't in my life?? Then I wouldn't be in this mess if he wasn't in my life would I? I would have nobody to consider but myself

No theres no family bar my parents and they can't. Friends are unwilling too or live with parents or other pets who wont allow it

I don't make enough either, but have had to cut corners and make things work my whole life so am used to it....

. I can't cut down on spending any further and that's with my boyfriends wage- he is supporting me at the moment. We were spending £15-20 a week on food and household/personal care items between 2-4 of us. I wonder what that works out at in your money? We rarely ever have the heating on etc. If you have any suggestions on how I can get rent money by cutting that down further let me know.

I don't know why my boyfriends getting all the flack because he doesn't want the animals to go either.

[Wolf]

Apparantlly, the majority of the responses you are getting are from women who have had problems with men in their lives and it colors their world, just like my early experiences with religious people color my world as much as I try to overcome it.