IRN going away for 6 weeks

[liz]

Rambo loves my daughter, Rachel. She works out of state during the week and only comes home on weekends. When he hears her truck pull in he is the first one to the door and he is so happy. But he knows bye bye means she has to go away but will be back.

[jmj]

jmj, this last post of yours makes a big difference. I thought you were going far away but if you are close enough to visit that changes everything.

Bye Bye means leaving but returning. If I go bye bye they know I will return. If I ask them to go bye bye then they get to go in the car and come back home.

When my mother was bed ridden, Rambo spent a lot of time with her. When she went on a permanent bye bye, Rambo gave her one day and then starting looking for her. He would call her and even ask me "Grandma?". It was 2 weeks or so when he stopped searching for her. He still calls her from time to time.

I would teach him bye bye and visit him as much as possible. You may have to consider a friend for when you take him home.

I'm sorry I should have explained that a little better. That is a good idea, I always say "bye Buddy" when I leave and always come back a few hours later so he's probably expecting me back, although it's been more than a few hours now so he's probably worrying I was considering a friend recently but decided against it as I didn't want him bonding with another bird and losing interest in me. I realise that may sound selfish but he had never met another bird at that point, now that he has it is something I will seriously consider.

Hmmm, what a difficult situation... It does seem to me as no win one, I am sorry to say. On the one hand, quarantining him seems a bit useless because you know he is healthy, what you don't know is whether he will end up catching something from the other birds so unless he stays all on his own the entire 6 weeks, the quarantine is pretty useless in terms of avoiding contagion. Then, on the other hand, you have the fact that this way he will be all alone and that's not good. But, if he goes with the other birds, he might bond with one just to be separated in a matter of weeks (he is going through puberty and might very well fall in love with another bird) and, even if he doesn't, he would still miss the companionship of other parrots when he goes back with you.

Visiting is iffy at best because unless you can visit every single day for hours at a time, going to see him, say, two or three times a week for an hour or two at a time is not really going to benefit him. I know it sounds crazy but you need to look at things from his point of view: his beloved companion (you) leaves him in a stranger's house with unfamiliar birds and unfamiliar human (confusion, depression). Then his companion (whom he feels should never had left to begin with because that is the way of parrot companionship), shows up and he is filled with joy (Hallelujah, he has come back for me!), stays for a little while and abandons him all over again (back to confusion and depression). A couple of days go by and the whole drama happens again... and again... and again for 6 weeks. Good for you because you understand that the situation is temporary and enjoy your visits with him but not good for him who doesn't understand what is going on (and never could because abandonment is not something they are supposed to ever experience) and suffers every time as if it was the first time he got left behind.

I take in birds that other people no longer can keep for different reasons and one of my rules is that they cannot visit for, at least, a year after the bird comes to me (and nobody ever comes after a year but that's not the point) because it's cruel to the bird. Parrots are like children who, even if the parents abuse them (and I am NOT saying this is the case with your parrot, I am simply making a comparison to a situation that we are all aware of), they want to stay with them so, when they go to live with somebody else, even if the care is much better than what they got before, the only way to make it easier on them in the long run is the cold turkey way.

I really don't know what to recommend... Personally, I would put the bird in my bedroom and put a lock on the door to ensure the cats stay outside or, if the accommodations did not allow this (like if you are going to be sleeping on a sofa in a living room of a one bedroom apartment and the owners of the apartment were not willing to lock the cats in their bedroom -you might try explaining to them how different it is with parrots and ask them to do this for you and him), I would look for a different place where to crash for a few weeks. If this is absolutely impossible, I would bring him to the lady, not put him in quarantine so, at least, he has the company of the other parrots, not go to see him until I am ready to pick him up for good and deal with whatever emotional consequences this might bring. You will have to have him checked by an avian vet after you pick him up and it will be hard on both of you (more on him than you) but I think it's what would work best in the long run.

Pajarita, although my heart sank big time when I read your post I really appreciate your thoughts and they make a lot of sense. This has now put me back to square one as far as worrying, but even worse because he is already there now

It's difficult for me to find somewhere else to go as I don't have any family locally and most of my friends do not have room for me alone let alone with Buddy as well. You pretty much nailed it though, I will be sleeping on a campbed in the front room in a little bungalow so will not have my own space where I could lock him in. Saying that though, there is a concrete garage which I could probably empty out but It's really cold in there. I know they can survive in the wild with UK temperatures so perhaps with a little insulation it could be possible, I could probably move into the garage with him at least this way he shouldn't be too depressed.

As far as quarantine, her birds are her babies (as I'm sure is the same for most of us) and I trust that she regularly has them checked out so they're probably ok, although "probably" isn't really good enough.

I am worried now about going to see him, he went on Tuesday and I'm already getting desperate but if it's best for him, which after reading your post I think it is, then I will not visit and deal with the consequences when I get him back.

[liz]

jmj, this last post of yours makes a big difference. I thought you were going far away but if you are close enough to visit that changes everything.

Bye Bye means leaving but returning. If I go bye bye they know I will return. If I ask them to go bye bye then they get to go in the car and come back home.

When my mother was bed ridden, Rambo spent a lot of time with her. When she went on a permanent bye bye, Rambo gave her one day and then starting looking for her. He would call her and even ask me "Grandma?". It was 2 weeks or so when he stopped searching for her. He still calls her from time to time.

I would teach him bye bye and visit him as much as possible. You may have to consider a friend for when you take him home.

Rachel is working in Florida and has been gone for 2 weeks. Rambo knows she has been gone bye bye too long. He climbed up on the side of my chair last night and asked me "Raddel?" which is what he calls Rachel.

I think you are not taking into consideration the intelligence of these little bird brains. If you can't take him with you, you just need bye bye. You can start by leaving him one day then visiting and can stretch it to a week if you had to. Don't let him think you died.

[Wolf]

The only problem that I see with this suggestion, Liz, is that it is a bit late this time for it to have the desired effect. Since this bird is not accustomed to this it will think that she has died everytime that she goes away for more than several hours to a day. I agree with Pajarita that dealing with the single event of depression would be preferable and do less damage than the repeated stress of grieving for her human mate. But the experience can be profited by if this bird is slowly acclimated to varying periods of absence of its human.

[Pajarita]

Liz, it's not that I am underestimating their intelligence. It's that the situations are completely different. Your daughter is NOT Rambo's human. You are. Parrots can learn to love/like/enjoy other humans but the 'chosen one' is exactly that: THE one. So, yes, I am sure that Rambo likes/loves your daughter and that he understands that her bye bye mean that she will return but his human, his home, his routines, his schedule, everything stays the same whether she is there or not whereas poor . That's the big difference!

JMJ, my point about the quarantine was that there is such a thing as asymptomatic carriers. These are birds that are healthy but carry a disease which can be passed on to other birds. But, in any case, the point is moot now and, in any case, quarantine would have been superfluous. Now, I want you to pay attention to what I am going to tell you because I am a lady of an 'interesting age' (meaning, old ) and have learned that it's no use worrying over something you cannot change. It doesn't do anybody any good and it doesn't solve anything. Your bird won't be happy but he won't be suffering hardship so concentrate in getting your own place as soon as possible, keep in touch with the lady (ask her for updates), and, when the time comes, go get him and take it from there. Parrots get put in bad shelters and homes and even the ones that were abused, neglected, etc do well after a while so your bird will be fine once he is back with you. This might not be the ideal situation but it is what it is and good times will be here again.

[jmj]

Well, finally the 6 weeks are over and Buddy has been home for about a week now. He's settled back in OK although a lot more verbal than he used to be. He can say a few words quite clearly and chats away with the odd frustrated scream chucked in.

He seemed to be quite obsessed with mirrors which were never a problem, probably wondering where the other birds are so they've had to be covered up, other than that he seems happy to be home.

[Wolf]

I am so glad to learn that you are back together and are doing well. I for one would like to hear more about how you dealt with the period of separation. Things like did you visit with him and if so how often. I am asking about this so that I may be better able to answer others that may need an answer to this very type of question. I fully understand that each circumstance and each bird is different ,but then so were all of our answers and I want to learn and improve.

[liz]

I am so happy that it is over.

Oh and when Rachel moved in I became Rambo's second. I slide back up to number 1 while she is gone only.

[Pajarita]

Good news! Sometimes, we make more out of a situation that is warranted.

[jmj]

Wolf, I visited roughly every 5 days. I stayed about 2 hours and sat on the sofa talking to him, giving him the odd treat and just hanging out. On the first visit when I took him out the cage he flew to my shoulder and started squeaking, dancing and nibbling on my ears. When I first got him he used to nip at them out of curiosity but managed got him out that habit, now he's obsessed with nibbling at them.

I think he was and may still be a little angry at me for leaving him. He still listens but has a shorter temper than before, I think in time he'll get over it