Mustache Parakeets - Dysfunctional Relationship

[MoustacheP]

Hi! Thanks in advance for any suggestions and help you all can provide.

So about a year ago I adopted 2 mustache parakeets from a local bird rescue. I was most interested in the male, but was told that they were a mated pair, and they wanted to adopt out the female with him. I happily obliged.

They have 2 VERY different personalities - the female is younger (4), VERY alpha and dominant, and is quite pushy and dominant towards the male. The male (10), is more shy, less aggressive, and lets himself get pushed around by the female.

They have always shared a cage, so I didn't want to change that. The cage is always open, but they're clipped. She will chase him around the cage (especially when I put fresh food in), and despite my best efforts to separate them when I put fresh food in, it doesn't seem to help. She is SUCH a bully to him!

That being said, he cannot stand being without her. When I take her away from the cage and leave him, he'll start screaming for her. If she's bad, and I try and punish her with a time out in the cage, he'll yell and scream until she's set free. She doesn't seem bothered by his absence, but he can't stand to be without her. It's a SERIOUSLY dysfunctional relationship - like stockholm syndrome or something!

We recently moved, and while she has adjusted well, he seems to be even more of that scared parakeet (anxious trembles when too many people are in the house, or if they're left alone for too long). He seems anxious in the cage. I'm wondering if getting him a separate cage is the way to go, or if that'll just make the situation worse.

Anyone have any experience with birds that love to hate each other like this?? Any suggestions would be so helpful!

[Wolf]

You are thinking like a human, but since you are a human, I guess that this is to be expected, however, this is not good when you apply human thinking and expectations to a parrot of any species as they are not humans and perceive the world very differently than we do. We are mammals, they are not. We are predators, they are prey. We have a different social structure than they do.
Forget about attempting to punish your bird for being "bad", they do not understand the concept and what you are considering to be bad behavior may just be normal parrot behavior that is required for survival in their natural state.
Their relationship is only a "love/ hate" relationship or dysfunctional in accordance to your human conceptions about what is and is not a good relationship and has nothing whatsoever to do with the realities of a parrot to parrot mate relationship. I would however think that due to the food that they are currently receiving that there may be more aggression in their actions than would ordinarily be normal. This is from you post concerning the male possibly being underweight.
Although separating the birds from each other would do nothing to endear you to either of them or to improve their relationship you should consider making sure that each of them have a separate food and water dish on opposite sides or ends of their cage. Speaking of cages, how large is the cage that they are in? Too small of a cage could result in a more aggressive relationship with each other, depending on how much time they must spend in it. This may help to explain why you said that he is more nervous when in the cage than out of it. This could also be the result of trying to use their home/ cage as a place of punishment instead of the safe haven that it should be for them. The wing clipping also has a lot to do with his feeling more frightened by people and things as he knows that he can't save himself if he needs to move out of danger as he can't fly.

[Pajarita]

Yep, food too high in protein, no flight and, if you are keeping them to a human light schedule and you end up with two overly-hormonal birds and that always means aggression. That the hen is so pushy would not be a problem if the male was not so 'shy' but could this 'shyness' and his underweight be related to a medical issue been brought on by a bad diet for 10 long years? Personally, if no bile acid test was done within the last six months, I would have one done asap. Ten years of high protein and nothing else will, without a doubt, have a real bad effect on his liver and kidneys (I bet he has high uric acid, too).

But, in the meantime, put two feeding dishes and two water ones, a set in the inside of the cage and a set on the outside with a perch in front of it and, when you put out the food early in the morning, lock one bird in the cage and leave the other one out on the perch next to the second set of food bowls. Once they eat their breakfast, open the cage door.

[liz]

This is a hen pecked male. Make sure you give him the respect that he needs. With his wings clipped he has NO defense against her. Myrtle torments Rambo to make him try to fly and play with her. He can't fly. When he just can't take it anymore he goes in his nite nite cage. That cage has a small door and he can keep her from getting in.

I have a flock of nine cockatiels. I attached two flight cages to give them more room but because there are so many personalities I have two feeding stations, on the far ends of the cage.

Let their wings grow. Follow the information in Lighting and in nutrition..
Give him special attention to teach him that he is somebody. Let him travel on your shoulder, put some toys for him on your coffee table for him while you are watching TV, hand him pieces of food and give him a small cage or box for him to get into when she is too much.

[Pajarita]

Liz, these two birds are mate-bonded, not like Rambo and Myrtle.

[liz]

Liz, these two birds are mate-bonded, not like Rambo and Myrtle.

He still needs refuge and special attention.

[Pajarita]

Of course he does! But the situation is completely different.