Guilt about leaving my little gcc

[Tro]

Hi,
I feel like i need to vent where people will understand my feelings about leaving my parrot!
I have had my GCC Tak for nearly 4 yrs and am desperately attached to him. We go everywhere together including on trips to visit family... The longest i have left him was four days when i went to canada for a wedding as it would be very risky bringing a parrot out of country. Well now i have planned a trip to UK for two weeks and am terrified to leave him, i tear up just thinking about it.
I am having my mom fly in to where i live just so she can watch him. She knows the rules about cooking and cleaning and she knows how much i care for him. She watched him when i went to Canada and said that when i was gone he stopped saying "i love you" and became aggressive with her. I am just so scared to leave him! When i looked up online about the issue i see many scary stories about what happened to peoples parrots while they were away.
Any words of advice (I did read the blog entry on this site), encouragement and personal stories about leaving your parrots would be so much appreciated!
thank you

[Wolf]

I fully understand how you feel in this matter as I don't leave my birds in the care of anyone for longer than a day, and that rarely happens, only twice since I got a bird and that was only to go and get a bird.

Still, I am wanting to try and help with this, if I can. With this in mind can you provide any information as to what your mom's practices were in caring for your bird while you were gone? Were she and this bird properly introduced before you left? Did your bird show any indication as to whether it liked your mom while you were there? Before you left how much time did she have to learn about your bird and to interact with it before you left? When was the bird aggressive with her? Was it just all of the time or only when she was in and around its cage? These are all things that humans may not give a lot of thought to but are very important to the bird.

[Tro]

Well when i left to go to Canada i was living with my mom so her and my parrot were roommates. I feel like they have a better relationship now because she interacts with my bird now when we are visiting her or she visits us. Back then when i went to Canada they just ignored each other. My parrot sleeps in a travel cage in my room to ensure he gets a proper amount of sleep. While my mom was watching him i had her take him from his night cage to his big cage in the living room which is when he had a chance to be aggressive with her.
This time I will have her move him from his night cage to his big cage, plus weigh him every other morning to make sure hes eating and not sick. Im going to have her come about 5 days before I leave so she can practice with him and i can teach her our routine. I know she is nervous to hold him from past experience with him. But I feel like she is the best option because i know she cares about him, knows a little about parrots, and plus Tak will get to stay in his home hes used to while im gone.
Thanks for responding and bringing to mind those issues.

[Wolf]

I really think that having her spend time working with Tak before you leave is a good idea and should help. Still, I think that it is best to remind you of the fact that you may need to let her work with him a little with you perhaps hiding in the next room out of sight. This is because Tak is bonded with you and may not want to work with her if you are in sight and if he chooses to remain with and on you will probably defend his rights to you with his beak.

I think that I would also teach you mom to open Tak's cage and then step back and wait for him to come out before asking for him to step up to take him to his day cage or play area. Many parrots resent anyone reaching into their cages as this is their territory and they will defend it especially if it is someone they don't trust enough. I would also suggest that he be either in the other cage or on his play area when cage cleaning is done. These should help her to avoid some of the times that Tak is more likely to bite her.

I hope that you find this to be helpful.

[Pajarita]

Yes, the best thing is for her to come early and spend some time with Tak and observing your routines and schedules with him so she can reproduce them when you are not there. I would not obsess about weighing him every day. Just make her pay attention to both the amount of food he consumes and the poop he produces and she will be able to determine if she needs to adjust anything (like give him more treats if he is not eating or pooping enough). Leave the avian vet's phone number and address at hand and call them before you leave to let them know that your mother will be taking care of him so, in case anything happens, they know the situation.

I hardly ever go anywhere, myself. Every few years I go back home to visit family and, when I do, my husband stays behind to take care of the animals - then he goes and I stay behind. This is not something he appreciates and he blames the birds for it -and he is right because I can get a daughter who lives nearby to take care of my dogs and cats and even get the son of a friend to come over and stay in the house with them but not my birds!

I have a son and his family coming over mid-March and my husband and I are planning to take them on a few short trips (Washington DC, Niagara Falls, Boston, etc), some will be just day trips (like NYC sightseeing, Atlantic City, Bear Mountain, etc) but the ones that will require a couple of days will be done that way: I take them to Washington, he stays home; he takes them to Niagara Falls, I stay home, etc. I refuse to go anywhere for a couple of days and leave the birds without me or my husband to take care of them - and that's why he complains

[Tro]

Thanks for the replies and tips.
I will use them. I don't leave until May so im freaking out a little early I suppose . But i will post updates once the time comes for me to leave.

[pukeko]

Also, some birds enjoy videocalls or phone calls, so check that out before you go. It is always nice to see your pets when you are away, but it is awesome when they know who they are talking to and display behaviors which they only do with you. Videochatting worked well for me, but my bird had also been a part of every daylight video chat I'd ever had at home, so it was old hat for her. You could even try to set up a daily or every other day skype, if the time zones and your schedule permit. Two weeks isn't very long, and they can also send you short videos if calls are not an option. I would recommend that anyway, actually - video tells you a lot more than a photo about how your bird is doing.

[liz]

My daughter an I cannot be away from home at the same time. Rambo was raised with all kinds of changes. His human was a 12 hour shift home care giver. She took him along. I got him twice for a week at a time when she needed a sitter. He accepted that his human left him with a bird sitter but was subdued and did not act the way he did when he moved in with me.

The first few times I left Myrtle she was a maniac. Even though she was in the house with the same people she could not accept that I was gone.

When your mother shows up your bird will know what is going on. Your best chance for adjustment is to have her come a week early and get the bird used to her.

[Tro]

I know this is a bit old but now that everything is over with I thought I'd let you all know how it went.
First off, thanks for all the advice! It was really helpful.
I had my mom come a week early and practice with Tak. She kept him in the cage for most of the day and had no issue transferring him to his night cage. Videos were sent and he seemed just fine while I was away. I was very homesick for Tak while I was gone, but other than that the trip was a lot of fun!

Once I got back Tak acted very excited to see me (as I was to see him). My mom said his personality really shines when I'm home and that he's louder when I'm home (lol) but that he seemed happy enough in his cage w his toys, and foragers (I showed my mom how to make and change foragers daily) while I was gone. Things went back to normal as if I never left after the first day of being home!
Anyway I just wanted to let you all know that all went well!

[Wolf]

Thanks for taking the time to let us know how things went for you and Tak. Going away can be hard on both of you but especially so for the bird. Having your Mom come early and work with him gave him something familiar to hold onto while you were gone. This could be further enhanced if your Mom could continue to come over and hang out with the two of you for an hour or so on a regular basis. This would help Tak to actually create a flock bond with her. This bond could make it extremely easy for her to let Tak come out to play and fly about while you are not there for him. It could work even better for your Mom and Tak, if she were able to spend some time alone with Tak, even while you are their. Just some thoughts that might prove useful to you.