Hi all,
First, I want to say thank you for this wonderful resource and community. This is my first post. Sadly, it is because of a sudden behavioral shift with my African Grey. I wish it were under better circumstances. I'm also writing from mobile, so pardon any mistakes.
So my partner and I live with Delta, who is 13, and has been very good up until about a week ago. We've had him 5 years.The only issue he has a screaming issue that we just mitigated with distraction and so on. Delta is more bonded with my female partner, but he likes me too.
Background to this week: my partner is in Copenhagen and has been away for a month. We skype with Delta every once in a while. She won't be back for two weeks and then only for a few days before she goes away again for another week and a half. I had a busy winter and have been enjoying my two weeks off, spending a lot of time playing video games and skyping with friends while Delta sits beside me. Leading up to last week, I noticed Delta was escalating his screaming, and my guess at the time was that he didn't like my attention on the computer. Unless he's sitting beside me, or on my hand, he dislikes the lack of attention. So I'd always bring him over when I was on it. A factor is that in our house set up, my back is to his cage when I'm on it. So I tend to mitigate this by bringing him over. Well once the screaming escalated I decided to try starting to train him out of it. I would leave the room until he either started making good noises or after ten seconds and then would give him lots of attention. It was the next day, about a week ago, that the biting started.
The problem: suddenly, whenever I started putting him down, he would randomly bite me hard. Sometimes no, sometimes yes. Now, in response I did everything wrong--in hindsight, but also because it had always worked before. I made a big deal, because I was in pain and adrenaline. Screamed, yelled and so on. Showed him my bleeding hand. He maybe bit me a couple times before and this always made him feel bad, and say sorry and want to give kisses to apologize. So maybe 3 times in the last 5 years? But this time he just kept doing it.
My terrible response: The first two days I was making a big show and also actually getting hurt. I also started researching how to deal with this and realized my mistake. So, I started trying to withhold attention for bad behavior and lavish him for good. Coincidentally, I was also starting work again on Monday. So for the last few days I was gone alot and then also trying to use attention for reward/punishment. I think I did that wrong too. Two nights ago I didn't try to pick him up, I just wanted him to be comfortable with me and I spent the whole night talking to him and giving him attention. He seemed happier and also wanted to be near me. He flew onto my knee and enjoyed being on it. But I had to go out for the night so I gave him my hand and he stepped up happily and then chopped down so hard he tore my flesh. I was devestated. In fact I couldn't sleep that night cause I think I was traumatized. I just kept picturing and reliving it. It took me a bit to get over it but yesterday when I got home from work I caned everything. I made him new cage toys, a cardboard box and nesting materials for his play pen. I talked cheerily with him the whole time, etc. And, when I let him out of his cage he wanted to come with me. So he stepped up and sure enough went for the bite. This time however, I blew in his face, said "no" calmly and firmly, then gave him a dirty look. Then went back to cheerfully talking to him on my hand. He was nervous, but not bitey. This happened a few times but the blowing immediately stopped the biting and we could chill together. He wanted to be on my the whole night. In fact it took him forever to get him to go to bed cause he didn't want off.
Today: he's feeling better, I'm feeling better, but he's reeealy wanting my attention, but more than that, to be on me somehow. So, building off last night I would pick him up and blow when he tried to bite. It worked. He still not quite his normal self. He's anxious and even when next to me on computer, he's good for 10 then wants to be on me. This is fine--except!--as of 30 minutes ago, the blowing at him stopped working. He bit hard again and didn't stop til I put him down next to me. But then he wanted on me again! I've taken a break, because I need to calm down, but I am working through this. Now I'm wondering if the blowing is fine but the dirty look after the bite is no good. I think I will try immediate praise after he stops biting. This is where I'm at now.
Analysis: possible separation anxiety because the partner is gone. But, he was fine for a month. Hormones? Maybe, I noticed he was getting up earlier and I bought him better food a week and a half ago. It would explain the sudden shift. Lack of stimulation/attention? I think so, because he is so attention seeking now. If he is hormonal though I wonder if that is problematic with attention. Idk.
My phone is dying I will send more updates. Just needed to talk.