Uncaring family surrounding a beautiful bird's death

[JaydeParrot]

Some of you may remember quite a while back when I talked about the unfortunate death of my beloved sennie Hide who very sadly lost his fight to bornavirus. He died seizuring in my hands, I've never been more upset over someone's death than I was for his and yet in some ways what made it worse was how everyone around me for the next months would get irritated because I'd suddenly burst into tears and just have to leave the room for a bit.

It hurt that it seemed like I was the only human who even cared that he was gone, but worse than that was a few months ago when my mom and brother were mentioning to me about Hide and I'd said that even if he'd gotten to the vets in time the vet had said over the phone that he might have to put Hide down anyway. The most hurtful thing was that my much older (adult) brother started making fun saying he could have saved me some money on euthanasia and coming up with ways he could have killed my bird for me whilst my mom just sat there and laughed. I just stayed quiet and stared down at the coffee table.

After a while my brother calmed down, apologised and annoyedly told me to stop taking things so seriously. When his dog was put down he was an emotional reck for ages and I was there for him, even now he can't talk about his old d without getting upset so why the hell did he think it was alright to make fun of my bird, he saw how upset I was about Hide's death.

What also hurt was my sister phoning up about half an hour after Hide died, I told her what had just happened, she hmmed and then asked if I was planning on getting a new one, I coldly asked 'what is the point of you?' and handed the phone to my mom who complained loudly at me but I just ignored her.

At the end of the day I know non-bird people can't fully understand what people who lost a close pet are going through, but is it really that difficult to at least attempt a bit of sympathy or tactfulness. I thought the worse part would be missing Hide, and in some ways it is but in others it's more the fact that it seems if it weren't for me no one would care that he even existed in the first place.

Sorry everyone I just needed a bit of a rant.

[ParrotsForLife]

To be honest im with my birds more than I am with humans and if I leave the house im most likely with one of my birds.They comfort me when im upset and are always there for me and the only time they break your heart is when they pass away.Im sorry to hear about Hide I hope he's happy and flying free.I would have bursted into tears of anger and sadness if I were you.

[Viatrixa]

WOW. Holy somethings, I'm truly sorry you had to hear those inconsiderate jabs. I don't think anything was meant in a malicious manner, but people can be surprisingly inconsiderate about the passing of a pet. It's very difficult sometimes for non pet people to understand the bond you created with your special little companion and when it's gone the pain is absolutely devastating. I would get absolutely devastated if say, my gorgeous cornsnake Domino would get sick and pass away. And I know full well how people would react to that :/ "It's just an icky snake!".

Sometimes even "pet people" who, say, have a dog or a cat who mourned greatly for the loss of their loved little friend won't somehow see "different" pets as their equals and don't really quite understand it. Maybe in time you could have a gentle talk with them and explain how special your little feathery baby was to you? I'm truly sorry - I hope you manage in time to make them understand the deep loss you had to suffer through. *hugs*

[liz]

Only the humans owned by a parrot can understand your loss. The others are just ignorant of birds and do not understand.

[Wolf]

Most if not all of us here understand what hide meant to you and I am so sorry that your family could not begin to understand even after having been there seeing the bond and the interactions between you and Hide.

Unfortunately most people, including people that are attached to their other types of animal companions do not see birds in the same manner. This is probably due mostly to the fact that they understand mammalian predator species of animals much more than they understand anything about birds, after all we humans are also mammalian predator species and share many of the same social structures and even body language with other such species.

Still their responses were not only wrong they were very hurtful to you, something that all they had to do was look at you to know. I am sorry for their poor behaviors.

I don't think that they will be able to fully comprehend this until they are able to experience this type of bonding and interaction with a bird for themselves, although being able to observe this bonding and interaction more frequently, the interaction between you and your birds, might open them up a bit more. So I would consider drawing them into it just a bit by showing them more of your interactions with your birds, talking with them about the bonding as well as the intelligence of the birds and so on. The more exposure to information about your birds that they can get may help them to better understand, but it is actually experiencing it for themselves that would do them the most good. I would at the very least talk about your birds and how much you care about them, with them a lot so that hopefully they will at least begin to understand how much they mean to you.

[ParrotsForLife]

I know my mam wouldn't get out of bed if our African grey Tiko passed she loves her too much as we all do.

[Pajarita]

I am very sorry the pain of Hide passing away is compounded by the lack of sympathy in your human family but, like the other members posted, this is, unfortunately, something we, bird keepers, all go through at one point or another... My own family took quite a long time to realize the depth of my feelings for my birds - and I've not only ALWAYS had birds but they are also all animal lovers who would cry a river if one of their dogs or cats passed away! It's like Wolf said, people don't seem to be able to relate to birds the same way they do to mammals so don't take it personally, they are not doing it to hurt you even though that is the consequence of their thoughtlessness...

[seagoatdeb]

Some of you may remember quite a while back when I talked about the unfortunate death of my beloved sennie Hide who very sadly lost his fight to bornavirus. He died seizuring in my hands, I've never been more upset over someone's death than I was for his and yet in some ways what made it worse was how everyone around me for the next months would get irritated because I'd suddenly burst into tears and just have to leave the room for a bit.

It hurt that it seemed like I was the only human who even cared that he was gone, but worse than that was a few months ago when my mom and brother were mentioning to me about Hide and I'd said that even if he'd gotten to the vets in time the vet had said over the phone that he might have to put Hide down anyway. The most hurtful thing was that my much older (adult) brother started making fun saying he could have saved me some money on euthanasia and coming up with ways he could have killed my bird for me whilst my mom just sat there and laughed. I just stayed quiet and stared down at the coffee table.

After a while my brother calmed down, apologised and annoyedly told me to stop taking things so seriously. When his dog was put down he was an emotional reck for ages and I was there for him, even now he can't talk about his old d without getting upset so why the hell did he think it was alright to make fun of my bird, he saw how upset I was about Hide's death.

What also hurt was my sister phoning up about half an hour after Hide died, I told her what had just happened, she hmmed and then asked if I was planning on getting a new one, I coldly asked 'what is the point of you?' and handed the phone to my mom who complained loudly at me but I just ignored her.

At the end of the day I know non-bird people can't fully understand what people who lost a close pet are going through, but is it really that difficult to at least attempt a bit of sympathy or tactfulness. I thought the worse part would be missing Hide, and in some ways it is but in others it's more the fact that it seems if it weren't for me no one would care that he even existed in the first place.

Sorry everyone I just needed a bit of a rant.

I am sorry you had to be around people that didnt understand how much that loss hurt you and respect your feelings. These are very intelligent beings and we bond to them very strongly and feel the loss deeply.

[sterlingsilver]

Very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, we live in a world where lots of humans just don't get it and maybe never will. God can only change their hearts.

The loss of a pet is deeply felt by those who care, but evidently there are different levels of caring that humans experience. May you find comfort in knowing that he was loved until the end and he will be remembered with fondness.

[liz]

None bird people are just ignorant of the fact that the birds have personalities and can love.

My son and daughter know very well if they get into an argument with Rambo or Myrtle I will throw them out of the house until my babies calm down.

With all the years we have been together my aunt still does not understand.

Just remember that we do.