I had to give my sun conure away

[kannf1982]

I had to give my sun conure away in January. He was one and a half years old. I am working full time and going to school and night and he was getting very upset if i ever went out of his sight, even after being out with me several hours on weekends and in the morning and evening, so the days i had classes were even tougher. I did not know what else to do other than to give him up because i felt so guilty about the demands school was putting on me. that was at the beginning of a vary tough semester in january, and i will be done with that semester now on Wednesday, and off for the summer, and so I have been thinking a lot about him. I am still so incredibly sad. I had talked to the lady to whom I gave him and she loves him and spends a lot of time with him, but for some reason this is little consolation to me. It has been a little over 3 months and I am still heartbroken, and I know it will feel even worse this summer when i am just working and have a lot more free time to think about it.

I don't really have a question, i am just so upset and I wish i knew how to feel better about this. he was the sweetest little bird - to abandon this precious little creature who seemed to be so attached to me and want to spend every second with me just makes me feel so sad and i dont feel like i can get over it very easily. i just wish i could take care of him how he needed and not to have put him through that. i hope he is ok. he seemed like it, but I worry. My boyrfriend, freinds and family dont understand why this is so heartbreaking and one of the hardest things i have ever done, so it makes it even harder. i have a 17 year old dog, and she is my baby, too and i love her so much. she goes to work at the office with me every day so unlike the conure, i never had to wrestle with whether my dog was getting enough attention from me.

aside from the guilt and sadness, i just plain miss him. I got him in the first place because i wanted a sun conure for a long time, and he was EXACTLY what i wanted. so sweet and loving and funny and almost like a little dog. he was my little buddy and he'd hang out with me all the time. i just really hate this and wish i hadn't ever gotten him and ever put him through that in the first place. if i come across one of the 100s of pics of him i have on my phone, laptop, etc i just want to cry. the lady i gave him to was very friendly and nice and i said i can check in any time and everything, but I feel like I am imposing, so it takes every bone in my body to not check in or ask to see him or anything. I always worry out of nowhere and wonder how he is doing, if hes really being taken care of the way i'd want him to be, is he happy, etc - and it just makes me feel panicky not knowing. h well. I made the woman promise if she ever couldnt take care of him in the future, whether it was a year from now or 20 years form now, to let me know and id take him back, but you know how people are - I am sure she will not let me know and will do what she wants. i need to get over this. ill never know if i 100% made the right choice, but i made the choice i did and I cannot ever take it back.

[marie83]

I'm sorry this has happened but a birds long lifespan is part of the reason taking one on is such a commitment. Peoples lives change unfortunately and alot of people (not saying this is you) just don't consider that one day, maybe 5, 10 or more years down the line they will be unable to give their pets the attention they need and deserve.
For now I think you need to take comfort in the fact that you have found your little sun a good home with a lady that is willing to stay in touch with you. I do think you need to think about whether your going to be happier by staying in touch and try to get some agreement with the lady how often she can update you realisticly without you imposing on her life too much or whether it will be healthier for you in the long run to just cut all ties altogether knowing you did your best to find him a good home.

If you decide you do want to stay in touch maybe post on here with how often/what methods etc you want to be in touch with this lady and we could offer some feedback on your plan before you suggest it to her to see if she's willing. Sometimes an outsider to the situation can see things the person in it cannot and we might be able to suggest an alternative.

Take your lesson from this experience and learn from it but at the same time go easy on yourself, losing any pet for whatever reason is hard and you are grieving for that loss.

[pennyandrocky]

i'm sorry, i had to give up rocky to the rescue where i adopted mya he was the perfect bird except he hated me.the lady that runs the rescue set up a facebook group where for people who have adopted so i can get updates and photos of rocky anytime i want.i felt like a failure for having to give him up but i know he's happier where he is now.

[animal_lover]

So sorry for what you are going thru...it must be so difficult. You did do the right thing. Think of all the bird owners out there who do not give their birds ANY attention and dont really care about the welfare of their bird. You did the most difficult, selfless thing even if it was painful.

Not sure for your sake if you should keep in touch with the new owner. ...will just prolong your sadness. Hang in there

Animal lover

[liz]

It is like giving a child up for adoption. More parents should be so loving. You knew you were not doing the best for him so you found someone who could give more.

I am sorry that you have to go through this but you did the right thing. The woman loves him and cares for him as much as you do but is able to give him more enrichment.

Don't feel guilty - you did good. He will always remember you even if he does not know the sacrifice you made for him. He is happy.

[kannf1982]

Thanks, everyone for the replies it does make me feel better. I agree that not keeping in contact with the woman is probably the best thing. I will only ever thing of the bird as "mine" and i want her to feel that it's hers, and to be able to forget about me. When i got my dog 17 years ago it was when she was 6 months old, and the woman had to give her up bc she was a crazy border collie mix and and tough to handle and her husband didnt want the dog. I look back at that and think that i wouldnt want that person checking in with me, even if she did care about the dog.

thank you i didn not htink about the adoption comparison. that is true.

another thing I thought about it what kind of situation is the best to get an animal. When we got our dog i was still a kid, and I also have a cockatiel thats 15, and i think the difference is that throughout the years, the animals had an entire family (parents, siblings) to depend on. It's harder for me now when I live alone and animals depend entirely on me. if i ever get another bird I will probabbly wait until i have a family and older children who, like i was when i was a kid, want to play a part in taking care of the animal. it's too much for one person when one life event can screw up your schedule for a few weeks, months, years.

thanks again

[ljeanne]

i had two blue front amazons and had to give up one. the decision was so hard because his previous owner was going to be upset but i had to do the right thing for him. i used to keep a facebook page for them to see his progress and we did make alot of progress but we just never could get him back in his cage and he would not step onto a hand so for his safety i rehomed him to a more experienced handler with fewer birds and he is doing great. i still feel like i failed but i know i did the right thing.
sometimes you have to forgive yourself.

[Cage Cleaner]

Gl

[liz]

I don't know how old that lady is but I would put it on my calendar and call her once a month to see how she is as well a the birdie.

[AlbertaAviary]

Thats.. so sad <\3 I feel sad just thinking about that. I'm sorry you had to give him away but you did the right thing. It must be so heartbreaking. I hope your conure is doing well though.