I had to give my sun conure away

[KiwiLady]

Hi there, I've recently acquired a female Australian King Parrot.
She must be about three years old. She's not been handled much (at all really) except for when I've taken her on in the last month. If I didn't take her it was likely she would die from neglect, or loneliness.
I am a busy single woman, work during the days and spend half the weekend away.
I am torn-up about whether to keep her (Bella) or give her away. I would only give her away to someone who could offer a better quality of life.
She has come from being given just sunflower seed, and watching other birds in small cage aviaries die. She was the last one left. Now I've given her toys, and freedom, she can fly around my kitchen/living area.
I get stressed because I have to trick her back into the cage sometimes, and she does not hop on my hand, although I'm half-trying to train her to get on my hand.
I just don't know what to do. I didn't realise the strength of committment required. She will live another 20 years probably. I've enriched her diet, giving soak seek, a whole variety of seeds, apples, silverbeet (she did get some treats very occassionally before).
Her cage is quite large and dominating in my kitchen/living space.
At times I think she is testing me - landing on surfaces I insist are "No! Uh-uh!" which is my command for "off limits". She is sort of getting it, I think she understands the command but she does push it at times!
I've been talking with friends and people from work, and there might be an option for her to go live in a large outside aviary with other parrots, in a forest setting. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Since looking around on the net and learning more about parrots, I wonder if that would break her heart - from being a companion bird for a while, then shoved in with other birds. She hasn't shared a cage for over a year and half.
I read that giving birds away is a bad idea, but I think I could tell when I meet someone if it feels right or wrong. I cannot give her to any of my friends, they all have children and loud/boisterous households, or have cats.
Bella gets into everything! All my precious trinkets and bits and pieces. I didn't realise my whole life would change! I am too sensitive to keep animals, I identify with them too closely and worry too much.
Help! What do I do? Buck up and just accept and adapt to having her? I am a selfish kind of person at times, hedonistic and like to do what I do. I've never had to answer to anyone in my life!
I had to take her because: My step-dad used to keep parrots but he was not a very good/attentive owner. He kept a male king parrot, who used to come out of the cage and was a very neat bird. Then he got two sun conures, they were sweet but very loud and not hand-reared. I decided to buy this female Bella, for the male king parrot, but he never took to her. Then my step-dad died, and my mum was left looking after the birds (there were also 7 canaries). Mum needs to leave the house for days at a time sometimes, and the birds (which were kept outside in their large-ish cages) were left. First some of the canaries died, then the male king parrot. Then the rest of the canaries, then the two sun conures. So Bella was the last one left, and because my Mum is still depressed (deep depression) I feared Bella's days were numbered, because Mum will stay up all night and sleep all day, and poor Bella was outside in the freezing cold, hardly seen to, and I suspect the blankets would be left on all day, with only the bottom half of the cage uncovered. What a sad life, so I took her.
But now a month later, I realise the gravity of taking on a parrot. I worry that what I've given her (proper/better diet, toys for enrichment, mineral block, pumus perch, cuttlefish, etc) is still not enough, because I am away all day and half the weekend (stay at my boyfriends).
Bella is probably very happy with me, because her quality of life has improved greatly, although she is now an inside bird (instead of being outside all the time). I try to get her out into the sunshine on the weekends but the weather has been bad in NZ this past month.
Maybe I just feel... over-obligated. She looks wonderful flying and she's cheeky and sweet, she likes to nuzzle my eyes and hair but isn't comfortable on my hand, she hops off as soon as I get her on.
I'm so glad to have found this post, because I too have a major decision to make, and once made (if I decide to give her away) I can't go back.

Any advice most welcome, thank you for your time, and for reading and hearing where I'm at.
KiwiLady.

[liz]

You adopted a neglected child. Their little bird brains work just like kids. Now that she has food and care she is feeling better. And yes she is testing you just like a 2 year old kid. It is wonderful that you give her freedom to fly. She will gain confidence that you respect her and love her enough to give her that freedom.

My Myrtle came from a very dark place too. She had been given just seed and water and never taken care of properly. The first thing I found out is her fear of hands. Hands are bad and can hurt a bird.

She will come around. Don't feed her outside of her cage and she will have to go back in.

Unless you are with a child 24/7 you would not leave things out for them to get into. Parrot proof your home. I even put a sheet over my desk when I walk away from it.

With some adjustments you can do it. We are here to help.

[leomacaw]

It is a tough situation.

Yea, I agree that sometimes we have to let go for the benefit of the birdies.

[independentminded]

Oh, geez...this is so sad! I'm sorry that you ended up having to give your sun conure away. It must've really been painful for you to have to do that.

Here's hoping that things change, and that you can get another bird as a pet. While another bird won't
replace your former bird buddy, it'll certainly help to complete the healing process, if one gets the drift. The loss of a beloved pet bird, whether it be by having to give it away, or through death, is painful. My former pet bird, a 20 year old Noble Macaw named McGee is still very fresh in my memory, but purchasing Aziza after having taken time to mourn and do research as to the kind of exotic bird that I wanted, as well as having Aziza around the house, has helped the healing process tremendously.

Hope I've been of some help here. Keep us all posted on what happens.

[KiwiLady]

Hi again

I just wanted to update anyone still following this thread - I decided to keep my king parrot Bella and she is doing fine, and so much better behaved! She's still a bit naughty, always going for something or other when she's out of her cage. She is my little friend, and she sounds so cute sometimes - like a Mogwai from that Gremlins movie, LOL. Thank you Liz for the tip around only feeding her in her cage! It works really well, and now when it's time to go in, I pop a peanut on her top perch and she's usually straight in there within a minute or two

So that's all - but finding this post helped me to reflect on the gravity of a decision to keep or re-home her - and so for my case, it has been very helpful to hear of another's situation, and how they felt after. Thank you very much kannf1982 for sharing your story.

I hope you're all having happy lives!!

Peace, love and brown rice,
KiwiLady

[Pajarita]

Great news both for you and your bird! Thank you for reconsidering her rehoming and taking the time to find out what works for you, both.

[DanaandPod]

I don't know how old that lady is but I would put it on my calendar and call her once a month to see how she is as well a the birdie.

I would too. There are a great number of people who claim that these birds need someone around the clock or most the day by their sides, yet that leaves a very limited number of people...usually retired or someone who works from home. And, those retired who are bonding with the birds...will not be around as long...so that makes no sense to me. Just saying.... :/

[DanaandPod]

this story grabs at my heart. this is a true loss, I believe for both of you. Though, I'm glad if his new owner is caring and loving.