Hello all

[SarahJean]

My name is Sarah and this is my first post, so I'll introduce myself and my bird.
I am a 24-year old college student, and a little over half a year ago my boyfriend's grandmother discovered an African Grey in her backyard. He was in very poor health and had no talons when she found him. We searched for anyone who may be missing their pet, but nobody turned up and we ended up taking him in and naming him simply "Bird."

We have not clipped Bird's wings as we were reluctant to further handicap him. He flies freely around our apartment unless we are not at home, and seems very happy. He is a healthy bird now and we love him dearly.

I have heard that Greys usually bond with only one person, but up until this past month he was equally attached to both of us. I am accustomed to him sitting on my head and preening my hair, giving me kisses, etc. But lately in the past month he has totally shut off to me, won't let me pet him or touch him without biting me, and sometimes acts afraid of me. I have no idea what happened to cause this change. Anybody with a Grey around here that can shoot me some advice on how to win back his affection?

[revika]

Try to narrow down what (if anything) has changed since his different attitude toward you. Have you gotten a different haircut, new clothes, different deodorant/perfume/shampoo?

Are his daylight hours on the same schedule as always or has it been altered?

Anything dietary changes? How are his stools?

How is he acting toward your boyfriend? Has he been showing "mate" behaviors toward him?

[SarahJean]

Well, my hair has grown longer, but it wasn't a drastic change in my appearance. He's seen me as it's grown. We did bring him to the vet but that was shortly after his behavior began to change and it's gotten steadily worse since then. But, we both brought him and were there with him in the room. Maybe I'm reading too far into it, but when they feather-sexed him at the vet he was very scared about being on his back and being plucked at. My boyfriend stepped back and I tried to pet him on the head to comfort him, and he bit me very very hard and didn't let go. Afterwards he flew to my boyfriend, so I wonder if he considers me one of the perpetrators. I have no idea.
He is very healthy, his stools are fine and his diet hasn't changed significantly. He is quite spoiled and gets fresh water, fruit, vegetables, nuts and such every day. He even has his own bath and jungle gym that he loves. His daylight hours are not so regular anymore, so that could be something. But why would that only affect his attitude toward me? It's my boyfriend who started putting him to bed at odd hours.
He has been displaying mate behaviors to my boyfriend, but he'd always acted that way toward both of us. It's just now his bond with my boyfriend is more intense and his bond with me has all but vanished. I feel totally jilted! He used to like me more than him!

[revika]

Sounds like your bird has simply chosen your boyfriend as the mate and you as its competition lol. The strict hours are to keep your bird's hormones in as much of a check as possible. It may be that since your bf has changed it up, your bird's body's clock is getting set into motion and that's why he's decided it's high time for one, real mate (your bf) instead of being cuddly with the both of you.

Try to discourage the mate behavior, set a strict 12 hour daylight schedule (for example, 8am to 8pm). Have your boyfriend's access to the bird be restricted a bit (e.g. if the bird hangs out ALL the time with the boyfriend, try to cut it in half where the bird won't see him as much) and take over that time with yourself. Re-acquaint yourself. For all intents and purposes, act as if you're back at step 1. Try to not be seen by your bird doing things with your bf as that will just get him aggressive towards you.

[SarahJean]

That makes sense. My bf keeps saying he must view me as competition now, and it does seem that way. It will be very difficult for him to not see the two of us together, though. When we're there, so is Bird. That will be inevitable, but I will try everything you suggested as much as possible. He does have plenty alone time with each of us individually (it's just me and Bird right now), but I work long hours in a studio on campus, so Kaleb (my beau) gets more alone time with him than I do. Here's hoping a strict bed time will work some magic. *knock on wood*

[Wolf]

Hi ;

I have been thinking about this for several hours, and just read the other replies. It seems to me that your boyfriend is spending more time than you with Bird and if he is also the primary servant, HA-HA (food bringer and cage cleaner ) it would be normal for Bird to bond closer to him than to you, which makes you the competition.

There is the possibility that sinc it is breeding season in northern hemisphere that Bird is a bit hormonal. If this is the case you are just going to have to wait it out for a couple more months. I do not advise a 12/12 hour light schedule as it is not natural. Basically birds get up at dawn and go to bed at dusk, so their hours of awake and sleep vary based upon the season and for their internal clock to function properly it needs to follow this natural rhythm as close as possible.

Diet is also a possibility, however, based on your description I don't think it is the cause but it could play a supporting role in your difficulty. Simply put, too much protein in Birds diet can cause him to be more aggressive.

If the cause of your problem is hormonal, you are simply going to have to wait it out. You can, however, ease the problem for Bird by getting him some flying time. I would have said exercise but simple walking or climbing about will not be adequate. Flying is the only way to get enough exercise to help Bird with hormonal issues. I would say about an hour of flying time per day, if he is strong enough, less if he doesn't get to fly. You may have to run about with him on your arm to get him to flap his wings and start building his flying muscles up so that he can safely fly.

I hope that this will help you and Bird.

[Pajarita]

I think you have a variety of reasons going on here:

1. The honeymoon period is over
2. It's breeding season
3. They usually are 'one-person' birds
4. He is now feeling strong and healthy

Birds are usually very 'good' when they are not feeling well but start showing their true colors when they start feeling stronger. This extended the honeymoon period to a number of months and the breeding season made things come to a head.

It's obvious that he has bonded with your boyfriend but the key here is never to encourage in any way sexual behavior so scratches on head, cheeks and neck but nowhere else ever. Distract him when he tries to regurgitate for him but don't make a big deal of him masturbating on your BF's hand or arm (it doesn't really serve any purpose except not allow the bird any sexual tension relief).

Now, I would not worry overmuch over his preference for your boyfriend, this is pretty much inevitable with parrots, but he can learn to accept you as a flock mate and that's as good as been their chosen one as far as I am concerned (I hope you agree). It will take time but, as Wolf said, keeping him to solar schedule (tropical birds breed on a 12 hours of light/12 hours of night schedule) will keep his endocrine system healthy and will prevent his producing sexual hormones all year round (this is what causes most behavioral issues in parrots as they get to a chronic state of sexual frustration which is not only uncomfortable but also physically painful for them) so no more putting him to bed at 'odd hours' by your boyfriend, this is making things worse.

Just don't ask him for anything like step up or anything. Let him fly around, talk and sing to him, reserve his favorite treats so only you provide them and try not to cuddle with your boyfriend in front of him (it will only exacerbate the problem). Things will get easier, I promise you. This is something that almost everybody goes through with their parrots but with patience and love you will be able to overcome it and enjoy your little family to the fullest.

[SarahJean]

I'm wondering what the best way to accomplish the solar schedule is, as by the time we are home from school and work it is usually later in the day and the majority of our time spent with Bird is in the late afternoon until night. We were considering 11pm as a bed time, is that far too late? We don't exactly wake up at sunrise either. Maybe we all need to start waking up at dawn. Then again, I know how often we're both up writing papers at 3 in the morning...
My thinking is I don't want him to be left alone during the majority of his waking hours, and put him away after only 2 or 3 hours of seeing us after waiting all day. We don't have a problem letting him fly around the closed kitchen when we aren't home usually (unless we'll be out all night) because it's more or less bird-proofed and he just hangs out on his jungle gym, on top of his cage, or perched on a door. Also he isn't clipped and doesn't yet have a harness, so he can fly around the kitchen if he wants to.

On another note, I've made a mistake of giving Bird treats often and at random. So, I need to stop doing that.

[Wolf]

Well you can use artificial lighting, but it doesn't have the same effects as natural light. Just adjust it to mimic the same number of hours as there is sunlight as you go through the season. Kitchens are a really bad place for birds to be at any time. This is due to the fine particles of grease floating around in the air for hours. It is really bad for their airways and also gets all over them and they ingest it when preening. This doesn't even cover the hazards that exist when the kitchen is in use.