Hello and Request for Help :)

[liz]

The clothes that get the holes are called parrot clothes and we all have them. Most of my parrot clothes are missing buttons.

[mikella]

Pajarita, those words from you mean SO much to me. This has been so hard. I don't think anybody would really understand unless they physically saw what my days have been like with him these ten weeks. So, I feel such a massive sense of relief that I am seeing this change in him. Yesterday and today thus far haven't been the same as Sunday. I think he was in a good mood from having hubby around in the morning and me and him had good interaction then bc he was in the shower and getting ready to leave so Q had to be with me. Q even had his first dip in the 'human' shower. Then it was just me and him all day as usual, same old issues but he *was* in a better mood with me, THEN come about 6:45 when we're really just waiting for husband to be home, I decided to try, once again, to SIT DOWN with Quigley (this is never an option, I try every single day), and to my surprise, he sat on my lap and, between little lunges and testy 'squeeze' bites, he settled right next to my hand and even was rubbing his face on my hand/thumb (again between little not-so-nice moments). This was incredible. Perhaps being late in the day helped. Anyways, it was a huge moment. I don't think my husband realizes how HUGE these things are when I tell him, even just something as simple as Q being on my hand, like earlier that day, or even him simply poking around in my pocket like before - because he's been able to handle him so that's normal. But anyways, I know our relationship is beginning to improve. I can see it and feel it. He's not constantly hating on me which is absolutely WONDERFUL. I feel better for his sake, too. My main fear was that he would be so miserable his whole life being stuck with me - and of course that I would have no life because my life revolves around him (and it's a miserable life when a little birdy hates you but demands to be on you ALL the time).

This is still going to be a long process, I know. I don't want bites period, ideally... And I want to be able to have him on my shoulder so I can do things. I want him to be content to sometimes just sit with me and not always be rummaging and scratching and nipping and devouring every inch of fabric he's exposed to - because it hurts and because he ruins EVERYTHING haha I also don't want him to scream all day like he does unless he's physically on someone. I want him to feel comfortable to rest in his cage and actually explore it rather than sit in one spot and scream for me. During the day, if I put him in and he's hungry, he will eat then if it's around the right time, rest for a bit - but if he hears ANY noise, from a slight paper crinkle to a sigh, he is alive and screaming for me right away.

I would love for him to settle and I could have him on me all the time. Hopefully that will happen. And eventually I desperately want him to be able to FLY.

At this point though - do we just continue to let him devour everything touching our skin? Wait to discourage it? It hurting is the main issue. But also obviously I don't want him to continue to destroy everything for the rest of his life. I'd love for him to just BE on/with us.

He's in my pants as I write. Has been all over for the past hour, hour and a half. He gets annoyed if you peak at him haha I'm afraid to look at my clothes after. He does major damage in a single minute and he's been chewing this entire time. I'm surprised I have skin left haha

[Pajarita]

The day you hope for, when he is on you all the time, allows you to do your things and doesn't bite you will come. He just needs to get rid of the sexual hormones and to finish fully realizing this good life is here to stay and, when this happens, you will be able to really appreciate how very sweet these little birds are when treated right.

As to what to do about his chewing... well, I'll be honest with you, I would let him for now. It seems to me that the constant chewing brings some sort of physical and emotional relief to some of them and I tend to be very lenient about things like this. I not only take in 'problem' birds but also problem dogs and cats and I always let them work out these things on their own.... Oh, I might tell Chicho, a hyperactive Shihpoo, to shut up when he starts barking for no good reason and just will not stop, or to go lay down to Pinky, a very needy chiweenie, when she insists on licking me until I can't take it any longer but I mostly let them because I've been doing this for a long time and have learned that, same as with children, they do work out their behavioral problems on their own as long as they feel secure in your love for them. I just adopted a 10 year old morbidly obese cat unused to living with other animals so she is a bit anxious about the dogs and cats even though I have been keeping the dogs in the kitchen and locking the cats in their room so as to give her time to get used to them gradually but, in her anxiety, she has taken to sleeping in our bathroom sink Now, other people would make her get down from there but we are using the faucet in the bathtub until she feels ready to leave it on her own initiative which, given enough time, she will. So, yes, it is a pain in the neck that he chews on your clothes constantly but wait until he gets rid of the sexual hormones because this is a breeding behavior and, taking into consideration that he is overly hormonal, he, most likely, cannot even control himself even if he wanted.

[mikella]

Yes, this is what I was thinking, Pajarita. I really think it brings him comfort and pleasure - and it seems to be the only thing that does, at least this much, at this point... And I don't want to take that away from him. It really is like he's teething. (Plus instinctual hormonal behaviour)

He's settling more as the day goes on today. More hands again

His fav spot is now in my bra. Yup, bum up, tail under my chin. So much for wearing a sports bra for protection! This started a few days ago and I was hoping it wouldn't stick haha But he is slowly being more nice about it, thank heavens.

[mikella]

Each of the past few days have been different, but overall on an upswing. At the moment I think he's convinced my husband is here somewhere outside. He goes nuts around the doors. He's hard to handle so far this morning. Biting, nipping machine.

So, his nails are really, really long now. They started getting stuck in things weeks back, but now they're so long they stick into our skin like pins when he holds on our hands - actually poke holes in the skin. They look to be double the length of the vein inside them. Is this still ok? Like I said before when I was asking about them, I AM used to budgie nails (although we never clipped them), so this could be totally normal.

Also, is there anything I should/could do to help his system out? (Aside from the most important things that I'm already doing) - anything for his liver? Can't help but wonder about things in there. There are no avian vets in any of the surrounding provinces, so it wouldn't just be a simple trip to the vet. Haven't heard/read about this, but dandelion root is used for human livers, what about parrots'? I have organic dandelion root tea. Reason this crossed my mind is because I'm aware that people use organic chamomile tea for parrots, so made me curious.

[Wolf]

Since we don't use insecticides, fungicides or commercial fertilizers on our lawn, I habitually go outside and pick dandelion for my birds to eat the leaves and flowers, Works to cleanse the liver too, only far cheaper than extracts.

[mikella]

That's great Wolf, have you tried it for yourself?? - I don't think I would trust the soil here. We don't use pesticides and we do have a large yard, but we live in a city, and we get a lot of run-off. I drink the organic tea so it's something I always have - do you think I should add a little to his water each day? Is this safe to do?

Quigley is doing ok. Husband is cerrrrtainly still his number one love and I don't see that changing any time soon, if at all - that said, Friday night Q was OBSESSED with me, the way he is with hubby (although his concern was just getting in my bra haha).... Ugh.

He wasn't fantastic over the weekend with me (but still much better than before!), and today he's being nasty. Lots of bites already this morning and took a little gouge out of the top of my hand. It seems like it takes him a while each day to mourn the fact that hubby isn't home and warm up to me. He calls and searches for him - this morning, the ensuite door was closed and he thought hubby was in there (that's hubby's bathroom), so I had to open the door to show him he wasn't I feel SO BAD how devastated he gets when my husband leaves........ Pure, desperate, panicking devastation..... It really makes me feel awful.........

Yesterday he actually sat with me for a little while again, late afternoon. Sitting is big for us because up until last weekend there was NO sitting with him, which meant no sitting all day, unless he was in his cage screaming. He would back up (so funny and cute to see) against my hand just to lean, on my lap. It's like he wants to be that way, but he's still iffy about me, so every couple minutes he will 'remember' it's me, and start biting. He rubs his face against my hand and fingers, again, until he snaps out of it and remembers. Not terribly bad bites though...

He discovered this new thing to do when he's biting. He bites my fingernails, width-wise on my finger - top mandible on one side of my nail, bottom on the other. And SQUEEZES. (So, not cuticle and nail tip, the other way.) It leaves my fingers ringing. I wish he wouldn't have started that. It feels like my nails will pop off

I still feel good about the way things are going. Lots of ups and downs, but overall, it's still much better than before. And he hops on my hand half the time, and doesn't always feel the need to bite them. I will be beside myself with joy the day he can finally ride around on my shoulder.

He's 'off' today... This last time he bit me, I put him on his spot in the kitchen, and he's been quiet as opposed to calling, and I'm out of sight. He always seems 'off' on Mondays especially, after husband goes back to leaving early morning.

[Pajarita]

Dandelion root is great for the liver but you need to use the extract for it to be really effective. Plus, milk thistle is better. You can get both milk thistle and dandelion root capsules in the health or vitamin stores and add half a capsule of each to his daily soft food. You can also trim his nails a bit just so you blunt the tips. He will hate it though... Towel him carefully, covering his head too (but make sure it's loose around his head so he can breathe without a problem), put him on his back on your lap and, undoing the towel where his feet are, trim the tip of each claw with a nail clipper. Not too much, mind you, he needs his nails to hang on, especially since he can't fly yet.

[mikella]

I will pick up Milk Thistle. I used to take it religiously for several years and have been meaning to get some. It's great stuff... Especially if you're on meds or have hormonal issues.

I forgot to mention this - he gave himself a pedicure the other day! Literally was chewing off the tips of all his nails. They must have been bugging him too. More manageable now! Wouldn't have toweled him, but had mentioned maybe clipping them (safely, holding him still of course) when they would poke through the holes in husband's t-shirt - he gets in such a 'mode' inside there I doubt it would have even phased him. Glad he took care of it though haha I doubt I would have gotten up the guts to do it. If he didn't have a problem with them, I felt like I should leave them alone.

[mikella]

On a downswing right now... He's actually biting more than ever. Not ALL are full-on aggression, but he bites just to bite it seems. He is completely unpredictable. Before, someone was saying that it was just me missing his cues, and at the time I thought that must have been the case (until Pajarita said that no, when it's that ingrained, there can be no warning - so then I thought ok, maybe I am right...) and certainly now it is clear that he, a lot of the time if not most of the time, gives absolutely no warning. He is entirely unpredictable. He's been back to seeming like he hates me, not liking me to talk to him, it provokes nasty bites. Still desperate to be on me as much as ever, but usually bites immediately or moments after. His bites are mixed in between affection. He nuzzles my hand then gnaws on it angrily, then nuzzle, etcetc. - immediate succession. And very often he chomps and chews on me just because - no sign of aggression.