Hello! ...with a request for advice.

[bluejaguar]

Thank you for all the support + continued advice.

I've been reflecting more on the "foot raising" she does and there seem to be 2 primary kinds -- one where she will raise her foot when we ask her to step and she will purposefully "miss" our hand/arm or gently push it away. when that happens, i take that as a "not now" and back off.

the other one is a more excited foot raising -- moving to the edge of her perch to get closer to me or my partner (she does this to both of us) raising her foot as if trying to climb off to reach us. this was the body language she was using the last time she bit me -- and in the past with me and with my partner, this resulted in her stepping up usually with happy chatter.

there's a sort of "demanding" in that behavior -- "i want this now!" -- i've noticed lately that if we don't indulge it will pass and she will then step up in a more calm manner. this makes me think she was not trained to raise her foot to indicate wanting to step up.

we started clicker training /touch training her today. day one. i spent about 2-3 mins with her this morning and she seemed responsive and appreciative of the sunflower seeds. i will keep this up. it doesn't seem like she had ever dealt with a clicker before and in just a few minutes i was noticing subtle shifts on how she and i were relating.

small steps. but it felt good.

i'm still navigating my fear of getting bit again so i have been handling her less but still spending lots of time with her - talking to her, giving head scratches, playing with her, sitting with her while she chews things up . she's talking to me, grinding her beak at times and approaches me easily when i approach. she flew down from her perch this afternoon, ran over to me, (not my partner who was also in the room) and before i realized it was climbing up my pants and and shirt and made her way up to my shoulder (with a little help). no bites. just a happy bird.

we will be adding the gloop to her daily feeding tomorrow.

thank you for all the helpful advice, new perspectives and for listening!
i feel so lucky to have gotten to welcome 3 birds into our family in the past 2 years -- as challenging as they are at times, they are teaching me so much about myself and the world.

[Wolf]

Try to remember that if she is excited she is more likely to bite, so if you approach her to interact with her and she is excited back off and give her a chance to calm down first. This will help you to avoid some bites in the future. In parrots excitement is very close to aggression.

[Pajarita]

Yes, Wolf is right, especially when it comes to toos which are very excitable birds, and anybody who has seen a too display will agree with this -they stand up straight, erect their crest and do all kinds of Exorcist gyrations with their heads while they scream their lungs out, sometimes even flapping their wings real fast Crazy birds!

I do approach birds when they are excited and/or insistent and/r screaming, I don't believe in ignoring them when they obviously want something from me. I know that most people say to ignore 'bad behavior' because, if you pay attention to them, you are 'rewarding' it but I would not ignore a child that calls for me or an animal that wants my attention. And it has worked out great for me because even the screamers (Freddie was a screamer) stop after a while. The way I look at this is that if a bird screams it's because it needs attention and ignoring this need is not going to endear me to them or make them feel safe and loved. But I don't usually ask them to step up, I just stand in front of them (all their perches are at either my shoulder or my head height) and softly talk to them asking them 'What's the matter?' except for one amazon to which I ask "What's wrong? because that's the phrase she understands. I don't just ask one question, mind you, I talk to them for a little while, praise them, telling them they are good birds, pretty birds and ask the handfed ones if they want scratches (I say "Pica pica?" they all know what it means) - I even caress the beak of the mean wild-caught. Have you tried caressing the foot she raises? My Freddie loves for us to 'hold hands' (I hold his foot, always the right one, while he hangs on to my fingers) and caress it while I talk to him.

[Wolf]

That is what I meant by back off and give them a chance to calm down. They obviously have a need so you don't want to go away, but you may not want to ask them to step up while they are excited. As you get more accustomed to your bird and gain more experience you will learn what you can and can't do with your bird based on how excited they are.
I don't ever ignore my birds for any reason. I don't try to fool them, when they bite, I respond honestly to it and let them know that they hurt me and not to do this to me. I answer every call and scream until I can get there to find out what it is that they want. I know that is contrary to much of the present " wisdom", but that is beginning to change in favor of not ignoring your bird.
remember I said back off and give the bird a chance to calm down ,I did not say to ignore it or to go away as that is counter productive and strains their trust in you and therefore weakens their bond with you.

[bluejaguar]

Thank you Wolf + Pajarita --
i appreciate the advice and affirmation. when she is excited (or whistling loudly for attention) i have been making an effort to sit with her or stand by her and talking more -- asking how she is doing, letting her know that i am paying attention to her, even if i have to leave the room for a few minutes. she does like to whistle a lot when we have to go to the bathroom! so yes, keeping her company as she calms down, like you said. she likes head scratches and we laugh together, during this time.
yesterday we did well. lots of stepping up + playing together without bites.
today, about 1/2 + 1/2.
one day at a time.
thank you.

[Pajarita]

Yes, indeed, with parrots, it's always one baby step at a time and 3 forward and 2 back at the beginning so don't be disappointed when she stops doing something 'bad' (they don't really do anything bad but you know what I mean) and then, all of a sudden, she does it again because this is normal.

When you talk to her, always stand in front of her (meaning, not to the side) and look into her eyes while you talk softly -all the toos I've had had a thing for looking into eyes and having their feet caressed (try that, too).

[bluejaguar]

good to know! thank you.
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