Hello from Alaska!

[Pajarita]

Hmmm, it's a hard one because the pictures are always taken either a bit from above or a bit from under, never quite exactly at the same angle and height as the bird is perching but, going by what I see (which, I repeat, is not really conclusive) Bandit looks like a hen to me.

Now, as to your feeding him breakfast with the kids, it IS a great idea but he needs to get his produce at around 6 am and his gloop at around 7 am this time of the year so unless you are feeding your kids at those times, you are missing the BEST tool in converting him to a good diet PLUS, if, as I suspect, you are feeding him later, you risk his been super hungry by the time you do feed him (because you can't leave any leftover dinner in his cage after he wakes up with dawn -or, in your case, a simulated dawn). This is the BIGGEST difficulty we have with parrots, the constantly changing solar schedule they need in order to keep their endocrine system healthy.

[LSH101315]

I'm sorry. I've never been much of a photographer.

I let Bandit out today for the first time. My older kids spent the night at Grandma's, so I've let him be out for a few hours so far. He didn't stay on my finger long, and he's not exploring a whole lot yet, but he did follow me to the shower. He was afraid of the water at first, and just stood between my feet, wiping his beak on my ankles. After a few minutes though, he would go under the main stream, splash for a moment, stretch his neck and close his eyes, then wander back between my feet. Once I turned off the water, he refused to leave the shower for a while. I wouldn't say we are bonding yet, but he's at least tolerating me.

[liz]

He didn't just tolerate you. He was between your feet depending on you to protect him from whatever predator that may be loose in the house.

I have never seen a bird as scared as Myrtle was when I got her. She depended on me for protection long before she bonded.

[Pajarita]

OK, now, that's the right picture and yes, Bandit is a male! Great on the freedom for some hours and the beginning of bonding! Now, a word of caution about showers, I know that the internet is full of 'bathe with your parrot' stuff but warm water strips the natural oils from his feathers and skin and, taking into consideration that we keep them at humidity levels which are much, much lower than what parrots bodies need, it's a dangerous thing to do in the long term because dry skin is itchy and dry feathers are brittle and both are potential plucking causes.

[LSH101315]

Alright, I give up. Bandit isn't bonding with me. He doesn't even like me. If I hand him a treat, even his favorites, he throws it on the floor. He avoids me at all cost, unless it's to follow me around behind my back. My two year old daughter, on the other hand, is his new best friend. Bandit is now her bird, instead of my therapy bird (the original reason we started looking was for a PTSD/anxiety pet for me to work with). She only works with Bandit under my supervision, but she can get him to do far more than I can. Bandit comes when she calls. Takes any treat she offers, and eats it, even if he's already working on a different treat. She'll sit on a stool and just talk to him for an hour and Bandit talks right back. He touched his beak to her finger yesterday very gently when he was done playing, and she left him alone. I'm always watching because there's always the chance something could happen, but at this point, they are best friends.
I know things don't happen immediately and I'll continue offering treats and using the clicker, it's just a little disheartening to see my two year old do so much better than me. Anyone have any advice on how to help him gain some trust in me and even maybe start liking me a little?

[LSH101315]

Here they are together. He had just taken an almond sliver from her.

[liz]

Rambo was funny that when he moved in with me he was ready for an adventure. He claimed me as Momma and my mother as Gran'ma. He was such a character. He really lightened my life. When my daughter moved in I was demoted. I went from #1 to #3. My mother died and my daughter took a job that travels. When my daughter is gone I am Rambo's moon and stars. When she is home I am just the servant.

I got Myrtle when she was a year old and she had had no enrichment. She was scared out of her mind. My memory fails me but I think it was a year and growing back her flight feathers before she ever trusted me. She would test her feathers and jump off the top of her cage. Once on the ground she would walk to me and climb up to my shoulder but I could not touch her. We were not bonded but I was the one she trusted the most. Her family in order of trust was me, my mom, my aunt, any stranger then my daughter. Only going to my daughter when I am not here.

I am only telling you this to inform you that these birds have their own idea of who is in their flock and what position they hold. You bird may bond to your daughter but she is still depending on you at this time. Things can change or you may find that #2 is all you really need. They can love more than their #1.

[Wolf]

Bandit is a wonderful boy, I am sorry that your idea for him to be your therapy bird did not work quite as you planned. I think that it is wonderful that your daughter has him as a new friend, but he just like your daughter is still dependent upon you. Like others at this point, I am tempted to say that Bandit is a parrot and not a dog, to which you would reply that you are not stupid and can see that he is not a dog. But the thing is that a dog will love about anyone who will feed it and pet it, but not a parrot, they don't love you because you take the best care in the world of them. That is the basic difference.
Give Bandit some time as although he has chosen your daughter at this time the bonding is not yet complete as it does take some time and this means that his perception of you may yet change to you being the number one human. I know this because Kiki, my Senegal did not choose me at first, but now she has bonded with me.
The only thing that you can do is to not give up on him and continue to give him the best care that you can and to continue to spend time talking with him, offering him a treat now and then while visiting with him and working with him without your daughter in the room with you and bandit. If your daughter is in the room and you try to interact with him, he may perceive you as a rival for the attention of your daughter and begin to attack you to protect his interests in her. This is a species of parrot that is widely known to be a one person bird and not a family bird. You do not want him to start biting as they bite very hard. I don't know if Bandit will do the same as Kiki did, in that after several months of being bonded with me she did start to take an interest in other people and will now fly to them to visit when they come by.

[Pajarita]

My dear, I am sorry your expectations on what the parrot can do for you are not realized but, in all honesty, they were unrealistic. Parrots don't bond in a matter of days and you can't make them bond to you by just been there. It takes time and effort on our part. And he is not bonded to your daughter either, he just appreciates any kind of company (wouldn't you if you were in a jail cell all day long?). Have you spent two hours a day sitting next to him, every single day since he came to you and always at the same time or has your attention been here and there and whenever you had the time for it? Have you allowed him 4 hours a day of freedom from his cage? Because devotion and kindness make a BIG difference to them and unless you consistently show them to him, he won't change his feelings for you.

I'll be honest with you and I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings but there are three things that worry me about your posting. 1) the fact that you got the parrot in the hopes that he would 'work' for you (like Wolf said, they are not dogs). 2) your giving up a mere couple of weeks after you got him (achieving a good relationship with a parrot takes years) 3) that you are allowing a two year old near a Senegal. I don't allow any of my grandkids to handle or even get close to the birds cages regardless of the amount of supervision I could offer - nobody is fast enough to prevent a bite from happening... by the time you moved, the child is already bleeding (Senegals bite REAL hard).

I want to help you but I don't really know how... I don't have the magic trick. Nobody does. Clicker training is not going to do it, either. Regardless of what trainers tell you, training and bonding are two completely different things and the latter doesn't follow the former. I've gotten many aggressive parrots and they all ended up working out but not because I know more than anybody else but because I put a lot of time and work into it and have NO expectations of anything but their wellbeing. I think that you need to rethink your entire premise for getting a parrot and decide whether you want the parrot because you love birds, make a commitment without expectations of him doing anything for you, and start working on making him happy or return him to the rescue where you got him.

[LSH101315]

Apparently I cannot articulate humor on the Internet. I think it's hilarious that things didn't go as planned. I love that they have bonded, and I still get what I need from Bandit, just in a different way. Now I get to help my daughter learn how to help with Bandit and train him. He has a good home here, where he will be loved for the rest of his life still. It's just different than planned, and in its own way, it's better. I apologize for coming off wrong.