Hi from me and my first bird

[Wolf]

I understand your feelings concerning Mai Tai and I recognize the insecurity and the anxiety that you are experiencing. You are doing very well with him so far and letting him start coming out is a wonderful thing to do for both of you.

I know that lovebirds should have a friend, just as Pajarita says, but I think that I would wait a bit and allow some time for the bird to bond with you first. It really won't take all that long for the bond between the two of you to develop and for him to trust you. I can't say how long it will take as it does vary from bird to bird , but I really don't think that it will take all that long. Then you could find a bird that is suitable for him and although the bond between the two of you will change, it should remain intact. On the other hand, you could go ahead and get a second cage and get the second bird and after quarantine introduce them and if they bond work on gaining both of their trusts and work on bonding with both of them, but it is much harder to get them to bond with you when they have a friend of their own species and will take much longer.

The thing about toys is that in the wild birds don't actually have toys and the toys that they are given in our home become objects that they use to learn their fighting skills with, these they attack and attack and bite and destroy and it is a good thing as they are learning this to protect, themselves, their mates, eggs, nest and babies, so it is a natural inclination. Other toys are food sources which we refer to as foraging toys. They can get pretty elaborate as well as expensive and yet with both of these types of toys the simplest ones are often the ones that they prefer the most. A foraging toy can be as simple as a treat wrapped in a corn husk that you get from the grocery store. A simple destroy me toy can be a small cardboard box or a crumpled up piece of paper. We very often need to teach the bird to use these toys as they usually have no idea what they are and more often than not are afraid of them at first. So you make the toy and play with it in front of them, put it down where they can see it and still feel safe from it and then come back and play with it again and when they show enough interest in it you give it to them.

You mentioned that you don't think that Mai Tai currently eats any fruits or vegetables. Again if he was not taught to eat them than it falls to you to teach him to eat them because he really does need them if he is to remain healthy. This is probably one of the most frustrating things to teach a bird and it is a process that can take a very long time before even the first success. How difficult it will be depends on how old the bird is when you begin as well as the species of bird and the birds own personality.
The best time to introduce them to new foods is in the early morning before they get their breakfast. you should prepare a small amount of the food for them, with a fresh, raw fruit, a vegetable and a leafy green. You would then talk with your bird and show him a small piece of one of these items and after he sees it you should eat it without offering any of it to him. You need to repeat this process until it looks like he is demanding that you share with him and then give him a small piece of it. He may or may not eat it. Repeat this with all of the items and when you are done place his dish of them in his cage and give him his breakfast at the regular time.

I hope that this will help you and Mai Tai.

[Pajarita]

My dear, believe me when I tell you that there isn't a single good parrot keeper that is not conflicted about the issue. I know I am and that's why I try to get companions or mates for all my birds. I love them to pieces but I am very conscious of the fact that I make a terrible bird

Now, you can perfectly wait a bit and get Mai Tai to bond with you and then start looking in places like CL, Kijiji, etc for a companion. No rush. BUT one thing you need to take into consideration and that's gender. You can put two males together and one male and one female (lovies love one another and there is never a problem getting them to accept each other) but you cannot put two females together. This combination might work out for a while, even years, but, eventually, one of them will attack the other -and, sometimes, without even any prior altercation. I always remember this lady in another forum who claimed that there had to be exceptions to this rule because she had two females in the same cage and they loved one another - just to come in one day from work and find one of them dead with her face chewed off. Lovies are normally very loving birds but they can also be extremely aggressive when conditions are not right (crowding, sexual frustration, etc). So, if you are going to consider getting Mai Tai a companion, please find out its gender first (but don't do it through the avian vet, they charge an arm and a leg, do it through the internet -cheap, fast and easy).

I never tried to establish a personal bond with my lovies (they had their mates, their flock, lived cage-free in a large room and did not need me for anything except feeding) but they still trusted me to the point that they would perch on me all the time, popped in an out of pockets and sleeves and even eat from my hand. There was this hand-fed female (a pretty Australian cinnamon that I named Matilda) that had been given up due to aggression but which, in reality, was the sweetest, most affectionate little thing and, although she always had a husband (she was a 'merry widow', if she lost one, she got herself another one the next day ) and would nest and lay eggs during breeding season but even then she would even abandon her eggs and come to me when I called her so she could cuddle against my neck and kiss my cheek. I loved that little bird to the moon and back and still miss her... even my grandkids remember her (I used to call her my birdie princess). So, as you can see, it's not true that they stop loving you when they get a mate.

Don't worry about him/her not playing with toys, none of mine ever did to tell you the truth and I don't have any right now that spends more than 5 minutes a week 'playing' if at all! Toys for birds is a captivity thing and used only because, as we don't give them mates or opportunity and infrastructure to fly, forage and do the birdy things that nature meant for them to do, without them, they have nothing to do all day long. But not all birds 'take' to toys... most would much rather chew on a favorite material (wood, dry yucca, cardboard, paper, etc) than play with any toy.

[seagoatdeb]

Hi everyone, my name is Karyn and I just adopted my first bird yesterday after wanting one my whole life. I started doing research at 15 and I'm now 25, so that's 10 years of waiting! I'm dedicated to giving him the best care within my ability for the rest of his life. This is going to be a long intro, sorry for the wall of text.

My bird is Mai Tai, a pied(? not sure exactly) peach faced lovebird. He's 8 months old, semi tame and very shy about hands, but once you hold him he's very gentle with his beak. Currently he'd much rather flutter to the floor and waddle away, but he can be picked up again pretty easily. He just doesn't sit nicely, which is completely understandable.

I'm his second home. His first owner was a young guy (late teens, to early 20s) and according to the shop, he had come in with his friend and they had bought birds for each other, but this bird happened to be returned a few months later for some reason. He was also on a seed diet, so I'll be working on switching him over to pellets. I bought a bag of the seed he's been eating (a pretty good amount variety, at least) some roudybush, and nutri-berries.

His cage is (approximately) 25" long, 13" wide, and 20" tall, only measuring usable space. He seems to "fit" well in it without it being too small, but I can upgrade later. He has toys of various kinds but hasn't really done more than nibble them a bit so far. I'm assuming he either doesn't know what they're for or is still too scared. I also added 3 natural wood perches with different diameters.

He's been pretty quiet so far. He cheaped in the morning and a few times off and on so far today. He doesn't seem to be a screamer. I'm not sure what his actual personality is behind the shyness, but he's adorable and gorgeous. He doesn't mind me being next to him at my desk while he eats, drinks, preens, and naps, so I've heard that's a good sign. He also ground his beak for a while after breakfast.

I do wonder when I should actively start trying to tame and train him. I offered him spray millet I held in the cage, and while he was interested, he wasn't quite brave enough yet. I know from reading around I could either start with the slow process of target training, or flooding. I know flooding can be faster but I don't know if it could damage our relationship in the long run, and I'd have to make that scary process very worth it to him. His favorite foods right now are millet and sunflower seeds. I picked the sunflower seeds out of his food to use as bribes/treats because he eats those first. Please let me know if that's a good idea or not, and any other advice you might have or any extra info I should give.
Thank you!

Here's a photo of him in his carrier on the way home:

Welcome to the group. I dont even like the use of the word flooding, because it has created one of those blackand white view points people will fight about and then flooding equals bad......I have used techniques, that some would call flooding with great results and seen improvements in realtionships between parrot and person. If you decide to go that way, to get better socialization, never traumatize or chase a parrot. Be patient if you decide to use a flooding technique and wait until the timing is perfect, and make it a pleasant experience. With male lovebirds they often will become more socialized, as they learn to trust you. Females have a tendency to revert to wild when they hit breeeding age, so with them you really should get another lovebird as a companion.

[Chantilly]

I agree with Liz, about not giving him back to the store, you will be able to give him the amazing life he deserves and wants, there is no garuntee anyone else will do that for him. And as Liz said, whenever tyou have a question or concern, one person or another on this forum will be able to help you, especially Wolf and Pajarita.

I agree that the loss in intrest is normal, even if he did have toys that he used to play with he is more than likely still settling in to his new home.
And great job with getting him to come out of his cage today!

[Wolf]

Once he relaxes and begins to get used to his new home and begins to trust you and then again when his wings grow back and he becomes more confident that he will be safe, he will very probably not only amuse you much more, he will also start pushing to see what he can get away with, some good and some not so good.

As long as you take your time and don't try to do too much too fast you will do just fine with him. As an aside some things that might be helpful if you have not already looked into it or not is studying his body language, both through learning from a general guide and by watching him as he tries to communicate with you. Much of a birds communication is done through body language, I think it comes from the flock behavior wherein you have 20 or more birds all screaming at the same time trying to be heard over all of the other screaming birds.

[seagoatdeb]

The most important thing here is that it does take time for most parrots to become comfortble with a new home and new people in there life so please dont give up too soon. Most peopel arent aware of how parrots are different from other pets and most people who sell you the parrot dont tell you how long it takes either.