Welcome to the forum and thank you so much for taking the time to do an in-depth research about parrot keeping and the different needs different species have!
First of all, a couple of things that popped out of your posting. You can't blow-dry birds unless you are using cold air and I would not even recommend that. Drying their plumage with warm air will dry the natural oils in their feathers and their skin (warm baths are also a no-no as they strip the oils, too). They are not babies or dogs that have been domesticated for over 30,000 years, they are wild animals that were bred in captivity and, as such, it's best to keep things as close to what nature meant for them as possible so, although the room needs to be warm, it's best to allow them to dry naturally not only because that is the way it's done in the wild but also because it stimulates healthy preening (which you do NOT want to interfere with as both greys and toos are VERY prone to plucking!). Second thing, you won't be able to interact with the bird in the evening so the 6 hours after the kids come home from school are not going to be there (during the winter, it's night at 5 pm). The last point is almost irrelevant because the bird will be asleep so it doesn't need your company then. Third thing, no UV light bulbs! Only full spectrum and only the right specs and at the right distance or you can damage the bird's eyes or burn it.
Now, as to the species. I will be honest with you, neither one is good for a first timer. Parrots are VERY hard pets to keep healthy and happy, even the so-called easy ones are hard and, although you are doing a lot of research (and kudos to you for that!
), believe me when I tell you that no amount of research gives you a clear idea of what it means living with one day after day and year after year, and anybody who has a parrot and is honest about it will agree! We all love them to pieces but there are many days that we all say to ourselves: "Why did I get myself into this?!" It's really, really hard because you have to keep so many different things in mind, put so many hours into it as well as work and money. I've been studying their diets, physiology, anatomy and behaviors for many years and I haven't even begun to scratch the surface so get ready to do research for the rest of your or your bird's life -whichever comes first as the insurance companies say
Grays are very high-strung birds which require a very special household because hullabaloo is not for them. They like quiet households, long hours one-on-one with a single human they choose (who might not be you, the person who does have the time for it) without a whole lot of touchy-feely except during breeding season, and no changes EVER. And, if they get anxious or stressed out, they pluck and even self-mutilate.
As to the moluccan... well, they are BEAUTIFUL birds (no doubt about it!) and they are very affectionate if they were bred correctly and socialized just right (and that is easier said than done, mind you!) but they are one species that should have never been bred to be used as a human pet. They are huge birds with powerful beaks that will think nothing of attacking one of your girls and biting a big chunk off of her face just because she sat next to you during breeding season -and they have two seasons a year so, even when you keep them at a strict solar schedule and under a strict diet, they will be hormonal for months out of the year (all toos are considered 'hormonal' species). I had a citron that was the sweetest, sweetest thing... I never had a single problem with him and he was the kind of too everybody wants and nobody ever gets (no screams, no bites, no plucking, good eater, etc) but he had bitten his previous owner's daughter lower lip so badly they had to rush her to the emergency room and later required corrective surgery. We are now at the beginning of the toos first breeding season of the year and, this morning, I had to cage both of mine because they are both males and they both want me to pay attention only to them so, in order to avoid a fight, I am going to have to cage them for a while when I go out later today (which is not going to make them happy so they are going to scream their heads off all the time they are in -btw, moluccans are the loudest birds on earth, reaching decibels of 135 - close to the 140 of a 747 jet).
If you don't mind my asking, what made you choose these two species? Because they are so vastly different from each other that I wonder what, exactly, is your criteria... I am asking because we might be able to provide you with an 'easier' choice that might still comply with your 'requirements'. But, in any case, the best way to pick a bird is for you to volunteer at a bird rescue where they have many different species and see/hear/experience adult birds. This will give you a better (not perfect) idea of what to expect and, at the same time, see if a bird 'clicks' with you because another thing about parrots is that they are all a bunch of ingrates
They couldn't care less about your loving them, cooking for them, cleaning after them, getting up at 5 am in the summer to feed them, fixing the furniture/walls/pictures/moldings, etc they chew and, just because you raise a baby to adulthood, it doesn't mean the bird will love you or that it won't have 'issues' (they can bring them from the breeder but you won't know until the bird reaches adulthood) whereas, with an adult, what you see is what you get and, if the bird is good in the rescue and loves you, it will do just great in your house.