boyfriend of a 'parrot person'

[dorp]

It's a Yellow Naped Amazon and I have done a lot of research. The thing is a complete monster and she is the only person that likes it while everyone else around her hates it. I truly believe that she is the one that needs to change though. I've never seen another person so mentally attached to a pet before. I'm not trying to demand that she join the cold dark world that I live in but she needs to develop a little and understand that this thing is just a bird, without feelings or thought. People come first.

[liz]

People come first. They are responsible for what is in their care.

They have feelings and thoughts. They can even plan things. If they didn't how do you explain how they can pull people in to love them. How do you explain them learning words then learning how to use them in sentences to explain themselves.

Maybe your girlfriend has not worked with them the right way but mine are individuals with personalities and intelligence. Maybe your girlfriend should get in this forum.

We can help her.

[dorp]

People come first. They are responsible for what is in their care.

They have feelings and thoughts. They can even plan things. If they didn't how do you explain how they can pull people in to love them. How do you explain them learning words then learning how to use them in sentences to explain themselves.

Maybe your girlfriend has not worked with them the right way but mine are individuals with personalities and intelligence. Maybe your girlfriend should get in this forum.

We can help her.

>.>
What would you think if I told you that all those things you see about love, intelligence, and 'planning' were all in your head. Hypothetically of course, what if birds, were incapable of thought and reacted purely on instinct. Do you think that maybe some people would attribute human characteristics to them similar to how children grasp on to inanimate objects like dolls and toys. Do you think it's possible for people to look for things in their pets that aren't really there to create a more pleasing environment for themselves?

[liz]

You are hopeless. I give up on you.

[PapayaTheConure]

I second that, liz. No matter what we say his thoughts remain the same, so why bother? I think he was just an extremely successful troll.

[Maria]

Ya know? It says in the bible, in the book of Job, that if you can’t control animals, how can you control your own life? Hmmm. I can’t remember at this time whether the chapter of Job is 38, 39, or 40; I think it’s in either chapter 39 or 40, but God is speaking in these chapters, and he makes reference to this.

And in chapter 38, God’s speaking centers around the point of that if we do not have understanding, do not complain. Tied to the fact that we are flawed for a purpose, which is also to learn and grow. That it is God that knows and understands everything. And that if we allow him, he will teach us along the way, etc.

Go read.

If you are back together, then you still have an emotional attachment to her. That’s basically what that amounts to. Don’t make rash decisions. Don’t waver in your decisions. You breaking up with her could also be viewed as a form of trying to control her and her life. (that you don’t get your way over the parrots, so you will abandon the relationship). You need to really soul search yourself as to what you really want, as far as out of life, and out of a relationship. It’s either a match or it’s not, nothing personal, and you be friends if you can’t work out as boyfriend/girlfriend. This also leaves the both of you free for opportunity to meet someone whom ya’ll will match with. You also have to be able to get along. Getting along also takes happy mediums where there is non-agreement. If there is not enough agreement or happy mediums, that is a sign that the Lord did not mean for ya’ll two to be together. (Amos 3:3 – “Two cannot walk together except they be agreed”). If there IS more agreement and happy mediums, than there is non-agreement, then that more than likely means the relationship will have a good chance in working out, and that is also god’s confirmation. Know what you want, and keep going in the same direction after you make your decision(s). Think thoroughly before you make decisions. I know that you have come to this forum for help in processing in order to make decisions regarding this, for help with dealing with and understanding parrots, etc.,; I see that as a good thing. But I only see that as a good thing if you’re going to be positive about trying to deal with parrots. If, in turn, parrots turn out to be one of your “can’t stand” issues, then that could be a make or break deal for you regarding relationships.

I'm not trying to demand that she join the cold dark world that I live in but she needs to develop a little and understand that this thing is just a bird, without feelings or thought. People come first.

What I see from this is that you may be in the type of category of people who may abandon animals during like crises, or otherwise. In my world, as well as in other’s world’s as well, see, there are a lot of people that give animals the same considerations as people. They also look down on and frown on people in “your referenced ‘category’” – it breaks their hearts – and they have feelings and views like they can not understand how some people can be so heartless. You have to also respect other peoples views; in turn, they can also respect yours, and either you can agree to disagree, or find a happy medium. Has God not given you a heart for animals? Did God not create the animals also? You’re also again referring to your view that animals do not have feelings or thought, and that is totally incorrect. And as far as myself, before I do anything, I always consider also how it will affect my bird, and make my decisions accordingly, regarding the best outcome for the people, as well as for the bird.

God has given your girlfriend a bird(s). Now, these animals are her “responsibility” to take care of. Be careful – if you’re not responsible with what little God gives you, he may either take everything away from you, and/or not give you anymore, etc. Apparently God has also given your girlfriend a heart for animals. God has especially given me a heart for birds (it may be the same way for your girlfriend), and I looooooove horses, and I love all animals in general. For my mother it was butterflies. For me it’s birds (and I love butterflies too).

You also have to respect eachothers differences, work with the differences in a relationship, etc., and I know you’re trying, or you wouldn’t be on this forum for help with this.

Liz, very good posting. At 9 – 9:30 every night, my bird says to me, "Mama, night night, come on, sing!" This is related to the fact that I sing him to sleep every night, and the fact that birds like routine. Also that he sings with me, and he knows the difference between singing and speaking.

When he wants to come out of the cage, he says, “Mama, come out – come out, ready? – come out – come out – well? Ready?” This is related to he’s ready to come out and play, get more interaction with mama, get exercise, run around playing with his toys, spread his wings, have more freedom to rome around, have me scratch his belly while he rolls and cuddles like a cat, etc. They learn to understand, etc. Yes, each bird (and animal) has their own distinct personality, etc., also.

Picture of Baby rolling & cuddling like a cat, wanting me to scratch his belly, his claws grasping & playing with my fingers, his beak gently grasping & playing with my fingers, while I'm scratching his tummy. Playing/Cuddling, part of his quality/interaction time. On top of his play-top cage. He also rolls over right in my hands for me to do this (to scratch his tummy), and plays like this.

[GlassOnion]

Three things that are just sad in this thread:

1) the fact that Dorp started this thread/is still posting here.
2) The fact that anyone else is even responding to this anymore.
and 3) The fact that I had to mention it.

[Maria]

and hmmmm .... if a bird has no feelings or thoughts, does not my bird look happy, cuddling and playing with me?

[danilipe88]

To me.. this is a very sad situation. My lovebird is small, yet territorial of me. He sometimes bites the shit out of my fiancee, but, usually is pretty tolerant. In my opinion, you are showing too much fear towards the birds. BIRDS I said, mind me, not lions or tigers. Who's the dominant species here? There are simple ways to avoid being bitten by untrained birds, and it does sound like your girlfriend has not taught these birds any home-training. Look it up. If you are going to allow a bird to control your feelings and scare you, sir, I think you should go ahead and surrender your balls. Just saying.

[Maria]

To me.. this is a very sad situation. My lovebird is small, yet territorial of me. He sometimes bites the shit out of my fiancee, but, usually is pretty tolerant. In my opinion, you are showing too much fear towards the birds. BIRDS I said, mind me, not lions or tigers. Who's the dominant species here? There are simple ways to avoid being bitten by untrained birds, and it does sound like your girlfriend has not taught these birds any home-training. Look it up. If you are going to allow a bird to control your feelings and scare you, sir, I think you should go ahead and surrender your balls. Just saying.

Exactly.

And the books I recommended for reading also covers how to handle biting, etc.

That's interesting, danilipe - true, and cute. There are times with strangers in the house, where my bird will come to me, sit on my lap, and just stare at them and watch them. He watches them sitting very still, and looks at them sharply, watching every move they make. If they start toward me a bit, he goes to peck at them with his beak. He thinks he's protecting me. Like guarding me.