relationship end help with parrots **updated**

[marie83]

Unfortunately the title says it all really. I'm devastated and I didn't want this but such is life. I've gone back to my parents as I don't have any other choice at the moment but hopefully it will be temporary. My ex has the birds and rabbit with him at the moment but they will probably be coming to join me in a few days once my bedrooms sorted- parents turned it into a store room when I was absent. This is far from ideal sharing a room with 2 birds and a rabbit, the move is also concerning me given the birds are showing signs of illness again. I'm concerned they are already under stress and the move will make things worse, particularly for harlie. However if I leave them with him until the symptoms go again, I'm just not sure I can trust him to take note of subtle changes or forgets to tell me something. On the other hand my stress could affect them too, I am truly devastated by the decision I've been forced in to making. Confused about what to do.

**edited** Just to say Harlie did live here for a few years before, Ollie only a few months.

[cml]

Unfortunately the title says it all really. I'm devastated and I didn't want this but such is life. I've gone back to my parents as I don't have any other choice at the moment but hopefully it will be temporary. My ex has the birds and rabbit with him at the moment but they will probably be coming to join me in a few days once my bedrooms sorted- parents turned it into a store room when I was absent. This is far from ideal sharing a room with 2 birds and a rabbit, the move is also concerning me given the birds are showing signs of illness again. I'm concerned they are already under stress and the move will make things worse, particularly for harlie. However if I leave them with him until the symptoms go again, I'm just not sure I can trust him to take note of subtle changes or forgets to tell me something. On the other hand my stress could affect them too, I am truly devastated by the decision I've been forced in to making. Confused about what to do.

**edited** Just to say Harlie did live here for a few years before, Ollie only a few months.

I am sorry it ended bad for you .

I doubt the birds will get worse from the move, its probably not too stressful - Stitch was immediatly at ease when we moved at new years 2011. Parrots arent always as frail as we think.
Your birds' med situation is special, but its probably not much worse than going outside in a travel carrier. How are they with trips etc? Are they calm?

I wouldnt leave them with your ex, as I know how diligent an owner you are and I believe you would take better care of them. Of course it isnt ideal to share a bedroom with 3 pets, but what to do?
Watch out for your allergies though (I seem to recall you suffer from dust allergies, as do both me and my wife), maybe get an air humidifier and an ionizer to keep airborne particles down?

Take care.

[marie83]

Ollie travels just fine, Harlie isn't good though due to the other issues we've had. she is only just coming to accepting the travel carrier
Your right I have allergies to a lot of things, the birds are better than the rabbit though. This is the least of my concerns though, I'll deal with anything I have to to know they are safe and happy. I couldn't bare to leave them but if I thought it would be better for them....
I feel guilt that moving back here will mean harlie is unsettled yet again, she is resilient but I feel mean uprooting her when she is the most settled she has ever been. They will have much less room to fly here, less attention because they wont be in the living room when I am out like before. With my bf it worked out most of the time that when he was out I was in and vice versa, they were never left more than 6 hours and that wasn't every day.

[cml]

Good thing you have two then =), they will keep each other company. Put the cages close. They will be fine, even a smaller area to fly in will be fine. And who knows, eventually your parents might allow them in other parts in the house .

[spiral71]

based on what cml has said i think it will be ok. try not to worry to much.

[janetafloat]

I'm really sorry to hear about your break up, that's no fun at all. I'm glad you've got a home to go to and can take the birds with you. That's the most important thing and as long as they're with you I'm sure they'll adjust. As cml says, they'll have each other for company when you're not there. Take care of yourself, make sure you get some tlc at this difficult time!

[Pajarita]

I have found that, with birds, it's better to take the plunge and just do it instead of leaving them behind because the stress seems to build up that way.

I am sorry about your personal situation but it might have been a contributing cause of stress to the birds and they will be much better off only with you so, if I were you, I would hurry up with the room, get it ready asap and go get the birds. It will make you feel better, too.

[marie83]

thanks for the support everyone. Much needed and valued

[KimberlyAnn]

I've been gone most of the summer and I know it's been about a month, but I just had to see how you were doing? Your birds and rabbit too, but how are things? Keep your head high and love yourself! You are a wonderful person! I hope the stress is less now and everyone is well. <3

[marie83]

Harlie is just fine, progress with her tameness is still very much up and down but most days she will come straight to me now and then stay out until I leave, I think things would be much much more advanced if I still lived there though as they are still at his-I will explain more further on. She will even come out and spends time sitting next to my ex and will step up for him most of the time now.

Ollie isn't the happiest bird at the moment though, full of hormones but I think all the disruption with his flock has really upset him as we've had a few issues to the point where he even launched a few flighted attacks on me which I've never had happen before though other days he is a total cuddlebug and wont leave me for a second. He has been picking a little under his wings again but it is nothing compared with how it has been in the past.

Both birds seem fine otherwise, poops and eating habits all normal so that's a big relief, my ex knows to report any little change to me lol.

Our little rabbit is well too, we had issues with a leg injury, it was touch and go for a while as he had a suspected spine injury. Thankfully it wasn't that, he was on pain relief for a while as he was very subdued for a while but is now back to his normal self- including trying to hump my leg every time I visit lol.

I only have myself to blame for the messiness of the situation though though. The plan when I split from my partner was to get them living with me and settled as quickly as I could but I ended up having a relapse with a mental health issue due to various things not just the split- everything comes at once like it always does right? and after having a lot of pressure over the last couple of years to it got too much.
Whilst I would have been fine with looking after the animals in a practical sense regarding feeding, cleaning, time out etc, I was an emotional wreck and they wouldn't have got undisturbed sleep, would have picked up on my anxiety as I could only put on a front for short periods of time etc.I had to make the hard decision that they were better off where they were with me visiting as often as I could. I hate myself for that, I feel very much like I abandoned them and I know all this has caused them more stress than necessary. As much as the guilt I feel about everything I know it was what was best for them at the time, it was either that or to rehome them, I'm just really hard on myself about things at times but anything that affects the ones I care about the most is the worst and I feel such a failure at times. My parrots really deserve better than me.

I've started to get myself back on track now- although I still have a way to go and we will be having a good talk about what should happen next and when in the next couple of weeks. To be honest I still don't really know what the best thing for them is, me visiting them? not visiting them? bringing them to live with me soon and if soon how soon??

Anyway that's how things are here at the moment. I still have very limited access to the internet- even dial up was more reliable than what I have now and that was bad lol!! I'll try get on when I can and catch up on some more of your posts I hope. Really hope your all well and your birds are looking after you well (or giving you the run-around in their unique mischievous way hehe). Hello to all the new members to who may happen to read this too if you bothered to read this far