Can we please be nice to new members?

[cml]

What's the retention rate on new members, and for how long on average do members stay active?

All I am suggesting is that we try our best to up those numbers, for the sake of those members parrots!

Most people ask questions on this forum for one of two purposes: either because they want to learn from others based on what they know/think or because they want reassurance for their own way of doing things. The problem with the second type of questioner is that if he or she does not hear what he or she expects/wants to hear, he/she will try to solve this by going somewhere else where he/she will hear what he/she wants to hear rather than to possibly change his or her ways.

Aye, but with a friendly approach to start with, you might win them over to your way of thinking and help both the owner and the parrot.

I'm absolutely for nurturing a pleasant/hospitable forum. If people are upset/leaving because other members are mean to them, that is not acceptable. If it is because the questioner did not get to hear the answer that would reaffirm to the questioner that what he/she is doing is acceptable, then nothing could have helped. Giving harmful/bad advice to keep those kind of people happy is unethical for the bird's sake. Telling the truth makes them angry. It's an attitude problem that cannot be solved either way.

I havnt said that anyone is mean, Ive said that the attitude is aversive towards new members. Portioning out advice, and not only focusing on the bad stuff, but rather compliment on the things people do right as well, can go a long way towards making people feel more welcome here I think.
You dont need to type everything in the first post, basically telling them all they do is wrong.
The carrot and the stick people, not only the stick.

Giving harmful/bad advice to keep those kind of people happy is unethical for the bird's sake. Telling the truth makes them angry.

Ive NEVER suggested anything like that, I am merely saying that there are other ways of distributing advice than putting everything someone makes wrong into a single post with a lecturing tone.
Its unethical towards the birds to scare people off, just because we feel we cant try to see it from the newbies perspective, even if they are wrong. If we make an effort to try to win people over to seeing that parrot ownership is hard and a constant challenge but still rewarding,we can get more people to do their absolute best by their parrots.
I think thats a worthwile sentiment, dont you?

[Wolf]

cml:

I believe that you have started a very useful and well thought out post. I believe that your urging all of us to take stock of our words is wonderful, it is something we should always be acutely aware of every time that we answer a post. I believe that everyone who answers a request for help and guidance on this forum truly wishes nothing but the best for the birds involved as well as those that may follow. Some of the answers may have been a bit blunt for the thin skinned, but even those have my undying gratitude for taking the time to offer assistance. I think that sometimes we all forget what it was like when we were in the position of not having a clue as to what we were doing or what to do next (or perhaps we recall it too well).

But on the other hand, if one seeks to find offence, I am certain that they will be offended regardless of any thing any of us can do.

Just a thought or so.

[Harpmaker]

One of the things I like about this forum is that while there are often disagreements, they seldom descend to name-calling and personal attacks.

While those of us who have been lurking around the forums realize that the most experienced people often give the most blunt advice, we realize that it is out of concern for the birds, and sometimes for the parronts as well. There is an unspoken undercurrent of "I have seen this situation before, and something horrible happened. I don't want it to happen to you or to your bird."

That said, cml has a good point about scaring off new members. Maybe we could articulate the undercurrent more for newbies? Members do tend to be gentler with "parakeets" that announce that they are teenagers, so we do TRY, but perhaps we can do better.

[KimberlyAnn]

If you start off by saying, "Hey, you provide a shitty environment for your parrot and should rehome it" or "You are doing everything wrong, its all your fault" you WILL SCARE PEOPLE AWAY from the forum. It doesnt matter if you know that this is the case, dont be so freaking blunt in the first few replies!

Try to explain it in nice words, because the poster WANTED to recieve help, and if met by constructive advice rather than what we usually see, they might even stay around the forums for more than a couple of days, and get to know more things about parrots.

The only thing you do by responding in the ways Ive seen, is hurt parrots out there. If you feel that its worth hurting the birds rather than try to help, then by all means go ahead.

Yup! I agree with this 100%

I've seen this too and then I've seen the same people go to other parrot boards to ask the same questions and get a warmer greeting. I see them staying at the other boards and learning as they go. Just a few though...that I've noticed. Not a lot. Just enough to fully understand where cml is coming from.

People are not parrots and their thinking process is not as black and white. I think cml has some very good advice. There is no reason to be pushy and negative when you can be kind and provide advice that may lead to them taking that advice in the long run if they want to stay here long enough.

I stay because there is good advice here. I don't take every piece of advice I get. If it does not work and something else works better for Emmi and I..I do what works best. I would like to see people be a little more open to new things too. New research is out there on diet and behavior. I remember when Pajarita joined, people were kinda weird about how she fed her parrots and not as accepting of her ideas. Honestly, I'm so greatful that she came with pellet free feeding advice. Emmi has not eaten pellets in months and is so healthy and happy. It's more work and a lot of reading and researching, but it's worth it.

I would love to see a behavior board here too. Just saying. THAT'S my favorite topic of discussion.

[cml]

I remember when Pajarita joined, people were kinda weird about how she fed her parrots and not as accepting of her ideas. Honestly, I'm so greatful that she came with pellet free feeding advice. Emmi has not eaten pellets in months and is so healthy and happy. It's more work and a lot of reading and researching, but it's worth it.

Agreed, Pajarita has added some new ideas to the forum which I am thankful for. I dont always agree with her, but I respect her, and she knows a lot about parrot behaviour.

My birds now eat pellets for breakfast, but ALWAYS get different fruit and veggies, all organic of course, every evening!

[Pajarita]

You should consider switching the menu, CML, because it's better to feed them the high protein for dinner instead of breakfast. There are two reasons for this: 1) is that been that the body takes much longer to break down and digest protein than it does plant material (it also burns more calories doing it), protein gives them a sense of been full much longer which is good for the night, especially in the winter when the nights are so long. And 2) is that they are always hungriest in the morning so this is the time to give them the healthier food as they not only consume more of it than they would at night but it's also easier to get them to try new foods (hunger is the best sauce!).

[cml]

You should consider switching the menu, CML, because it's better to feed them the high protein for dinner instead of breakfast. There are two reasons for this: 1) is that been that the body takes much longer to break down and digest protein than it does plant material (it also burns more calories doing it), protein gives them a sense of been full much longer which is good for the night, especially in the winter when the nights are so long. And 2) is that they are always hungriest in the morning so this is the time to give them the healthier food as they not only consume more of it than they would at night but it's also easier to get them to try new foods (hunger is the best sauce!).

This is all a bit off topic , but nevermind, I dont think this thread will do anything else to help now anyway, the people who wanted to understand the spirit of my posts have probably already done so.

Not possible I am afraid, due to their schedule. I dont keep them on a natural solar schedule (which here would mean only 5 hours of light), but have them wake up around noon and go to bed at 9.30pm. This is accomplished with timers for the lamps and light proof blinds for the windows.

It also means they are only alone for about 4 hours everyday during weekdays, while we are at work. The trick to it is preparing the pellet breakfast and water bottles just before they go to bed, so its there when they wake up .

This works great for us, the parrots are happy, we can spend A LOT more time with them and we can modify their day length according to seasons. They also dont have to be alone much at all .

With regards to new food, they have a very varied diet, I'll try to make a post about it soon .

[GreenWing]

One of the things I like about this forum is that while there are often disagreements, they seldom descend to name-calling and personal attacks.

While those of us who have been lurking around the forums realize that the most experienced people often give the most blunt advice, we realize that it is out of concern for the birds, and sometimes for the parronts as well. There is an unspoken undercurrent of "I have seen this situation before, and something horrible happened. I don't want it to happen to you or to your bird."

That said, cml has a good point about scaring off new members. Maybe we could articulate the undercurrent more for newbies? Members do tend to be gentler with "parakeets" that announce that they are teenagers, so we do TRY, but perhaps we can do better.

Well said, Harpmaker

And I do hope people feel welcomed here because it really IS the best parrot forum on the Internet. Also, I personally make an effort to be warm and kind to everyone, 'cuz I'm awesome like that.

Agreed, Pajarita has added some new ideas to the forum which I am thankful for. I dont always agree with her, but I respect her, and she knows a lot about parrot behaviour.

Pajarita is awesome and this board is lucky to have her.

People are not parrots

They're not? I SAID I AM LIKE A GREY! lol

[Wolf]

I think that we all should try to be considerate to the plight of others and their feelings, but I am also aware that some folks are going to be offended no matter how gentle you are with them. It really is a shame too.

While I agree that most people are not parrots ALL parrots are people. lol

[Pajarita]

LOL - I don't know about parrots been people... I like and understand them much better than I do people, that's for sure!