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Can we please be nice to new members?

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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby Wolf » Wed Jan 07, 2015 5:08 pm

Ok, If everyone has weighed in and have had the opportunity to vent can we all quit fighting now and get back to the business of trying to help parrots. It is fine with me if you don't like someone, that is a normal part of life and I do think that all parties have been given ample opportunity to state their opinions so let's just let it go and try to do better. I understand that there are hurt feelings and misunderstandings and so forth, but can we not now remember who we are and stop the fighting.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby DanaandPod » Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:22 pm

pretty much. Trust me, it has been stressful enough as a human being let alone a fairly new parrot owner who has been trusting the concept on this forum that parrots shouldn't be left alone. Whether its believed my emotions are too attached to my bird or not, the worry hasn't been easy over his possible suffering. Last thing I was looking for and desire to keep doing is running into more stress over him by being provoked more with guilt over being less than perfect. Just trying to stay positive and personally balanced. Guess I need to learn to let negativity of others flow off like teflon. Easy to forget to do this even for my own health sometimes. Realizing also that I have obviously put myself out there too much.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby liz » Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:44 pm

What are you, a 2 year old with a potty mouth?

Sorry Wolf. If I don't say it I should not have to read it.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby Wolf » Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:57 pm

I am sorry that this is so stressful for you, but I can assure you that even if she is a bit harsher than some people can deal with that Pajarita has very good information and she truly does not mean you any harm, nor does she wish you any thing but the best. I am aware that that does nothing to ease your stress, but it is the truth.
As for there being so much divided opinion, you are right there is entirely to much of this in the parrot world, it is totally due to the fact that although people have had parrots for a long time ie several hundred years, the industry pertaining to parrots is younger than I am. The studies are even younger than that as they are 25 years or less for the oldest parrot studies and this leads to conflict between the new scientific information and the non scientific ways that people have used from where ever they could find any information and much of the non scientific information is being proven wrong. You are at this time on the fringes of all of this new information vs whatever. I do a lot of research and only accept documented scientifically proven information and that is what I share here and that is also the information that Pajarita shares. She has a thick skin, but not a lot of patience, but her opinions are valid even if the manner of delivery is a bit abrupt, and she is also totally honest, which I find to be a rare quality in todays world. I really wish that the two of you could get along. If it gets to stressful or if you just prefer it you can always pm me or use my email and I will always try to help you.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby Wolf » Thu Jan 08, 2015 8:03 pm

It is alright, Liz, She just needed to vent a little to maintain her sanity. This is all new to her and very difficult for her to deal with and you Know that Pajarita is a bit brusque in her delivery.
Not the best way to win friends and influence people, but she isn't trying to win a popularity contest either.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby DanaandPod » Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:58 pm

Wolf, sounds like you are the peace keeper and that you are in high respect of Pajorita. And, that is fine. HOwever, I strongly disagree that she presented her self to me in simply honest and tough skin ways. INfact, i think she was every bit of disrespectful, and pushing of her views as well as looking down upon myself not to mention just outright twisting things. But, all of which go completely against these forum rules. And, if anyone sees anything that she wrote otherwise would only be biased which i get the sense you are. Otherwise the reason why i didnt go out of my way to report her messages is that i do feel she may have some useful information. to someone else. not to me. I don't listen to anyone who is disrespectful or condescending among other things that would be considered "potty mouth" talk. Even if the reaction is warranted. It is too bad though that such negativity is apart of such a forum as this. People don't learn anthing in an environment of such negativity. And, i strongly wonder about any bird being cared for truly by any such person. But, as it has been pointed out.... there are many other resources... and i am doing my best to fix my bird situation by all the advice and readings... But, again, as the forum rule states... it is our right to make the ultimate decision. :)
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby DanaandPod » Sat Jan 10, 2015 9:08 pm

What a crack up. I find it interesting that the posts that i reposted of Pajorita being completely personally judgemental and disrespectful and putting me down in personal ways have all been deleted. I posted them here for others to see what she has really been specifically saying. But, i guess someone didn't want anyone to see it.... how bout that. lol
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby cml » Sun Jan 11, 2015 5:04 am

DanaandPod wrote:What a crack up. I find it interesting that the posts that i reposted of Pajorita being completely personally judgemental and disrespectful and putting me down in personal ways have all been deleted. I posted them here for others to see what she has really been specifically saying. But, i guess someone didn't want anyone to see it.... how bout that. lol

As much as I disagree with the trend of negativity and the behaviour of some forum members, I agree with the moderator who deleted your re-posts. I understand what you were trying to do, but it was a bit over the top and I dont think the posts contributed either anything positive nor new information.

I think I wrote in my last reply that I think that this thread yet again will fall on deaf ears where it needs to be heard and I fear I was correct.
Pajarita wrote: :lol: So you are all offended by my manner and you want sugar coating instead of plain talking. I can understand that.

Pajarita, I just cant get my head around you! I KNOW that you have lots of knowledge about parrot keeping and you keep saying that you want to help parrots. Yet you act with such disdain and utter disregard of respect towards people that you end up not helping most parrots. People will NOT listen to you when you act in your current manner, only a few does and I would want more parrots to benefit from your experience.

I think the best thing you can do to help more parrots, time investment wise, would be is to work on your interpersonal skills because they are what will help the most amount of birds in the long run since a forum is a communication platform.

Can you imagine using all the years you've learned about parrots, sharing that knowledge with maybe five times as many people who actually listen to you? It's possible, but it isnt happening now. Most people you "help" now just leave and their parrots arent any better of. Take a moment and be completely honest with yourself and think this through. Please, if not for your sake (I know you could not care less) then for the parrots which you claim to want to do anything for.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby liz » Sun Jan 11, 2015 8:39 am

I am happy the moderator stepped in. Instead of disagreeing it turned into bad mouthing, digging up dirt to post, wasting time and filling a thread with junk talk.
A new person would probably read it first then leave without being known.
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Re: Can we please be nice to new members?

Postby Wolf » Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:09 am

I am sorry that you feel that my action was biased. I try very hard to be understanding and as neutral as I can. Your original posts are still intact in their original topics and the only reason that I was forced to remove the posts that I did were because of the profanity in it. The two reposts were removed as I felt that they were part of the last post which contained the profanity.
Pajarita is well aware that I do not like her manner of delivery and she is also aware that there are several others that don't like the way that she responds. Although, I would prefer that she be less forceful, that is not the issue. As far as I am concerned as long as there is no profanity and preferably no name calling anyone can argue with whomever they choose to do so with. I would prefer that they find a better way but I will allow as much freedom of speech as I can get away with.
As a matter of my personal opinion, and not as moderator, I have never said that your response was not deserved. As moderator, I did have problems with the name calling, but the profanity is what forced my hand.
I tried to keep this all out of the forum and emailed all concerned parties in that effort, but I have no problems with my action nor with letting the members of this forum now what and why I made the decision that I did. I am here for them too.
Wolf
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Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 8679
Location: Lansing, NC
Number of Birds Owned: 6
Types of Birds Owned: Senegal
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Budgie
Flight: Yes

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