deciding "it time"

[marie83]

Sad day for us, we just had one of our mice, flash, put to sleep. You might wonder why im posting about one little mouse but a lot of people will come across a day where they need to make a decision on whether to help an animal pass over. Well in this case my "baby" was 9/10 months old, she was born under my roof. She had a tumour which got really big really fast.
We let flash live with it for a short time and she seemed quite happy and comfortable. Even up until this morning she seemed very much herself, just struggled to get up and down the tiers in mouse mansion as her sisters, mum and dad knock the ladders down alot. We felt the time had come to prevent any further suffering as the tumour was beginning to drag on the floor and would have become sore if we left it much longer.
its amazing how attached you can become to the little creatures that share our lives, I didnt do much with them other than general care duties, I would handle them for a short time when cleaning them out but they had each other for company, lots of space, toys etc.
I really didnt expect to feel as sad as I do really, dont get me wrong im not crying in a heap (and I have been for weeks with other animals) but there is a big sadness there.

I've been really lucky so far in a way, ive had loads and loads of pets and only has to make that desicion once before with one of my dogs. Its a horrible place to be, so many questions.. is it too soon? What if next week is too late? Is it right to "play god" and end a life? Is my pet really suffering and if so how much? Theres loads more questions of course there is, maybe theres an operation or treatment that could give our pets a little longer- but then we might ask ourselves if that is fair too? Of course circumstances will differ, theres a big difference between putting a young dog through a big op which will hopefully go on to lead a happy and healthy 8 years plus and putting an elderly dog through 6 weeks of recovery time for him or her to only realistically be expected to live a few months longer anyway. Of course we dont know the old dog wont exceed expectations and live a painfree life after recovery for another couple of years and we dont know the young one wont have another health complaint or related one and die anyway 4 months down the line.
The truth is that when it comes to the living we cannot answer any of those questions, we can only make guesses based on general health, age, species and general information on similar situations so how the hell are we supposed to reach a desicion that it is indeed time? especially when there are so many different things to consider.

Really as animal lovers I think the biggest thing to take into account is your own gut instinct, it sounds a big cliché but I do think the majority of people know instinctively when its time to help your pets move on (and no, I never believed it either until it was time, I honestly believed I could never give the ok to have a pet put to sleep but when it came to it I didnt question it for a second).
Ive also seen owners through my work that didn't do what should have been done in my opinion and give their pets a peaceful end because they wanted to hold on, to hope for a miracle, because they didnt want to feel the grief etc. I honestly dont blame those owners for feeling the way they did, for waiting for tomorrow, for having just one more day/week with their animals before making the decision that never got made but I also saw what some of those animals went through. I also saw a lot of those owners again in the future after they had taken on a new pet and so many of them regretted not intervening, a few were almost haunted in a way by the end of their pets time with them, even those who firmly believed only god should decide when its time.

in conclusion to my big essay I just want to say that in my opinion sometimes its alot kinder to help an animal move on, not just to the animal but to yourself as well. Its totally normal to feel a complete conflict of emotions, morals and just about everything else. I am still conflicted- believe me when I say I don't actually believe that it is right to take a life but at the same time I dont believe its right to leave an animal suffering when theres no other way to relieve the animal of it, I just try not to overthink it and do what is right at the time.

[Wolf]

This is an area that I am not normally conflicted about, possibly because I have had to make it more often than many people ever will. And yes, sometimes it is the only thing that you can do as any other option is just too cruel to consider.
But the time that really ate at me was the morning when one of the mares at the farm I worked at gave birth and twisted her intestines in the process. There is an operation for this but the survival rate at the time was very poor. I spent along with the vet 3 days trying to keep her alive while the pain just kept increasing and the internal pressure increased and her body turning toxic to herself. All of this was to give the baby a decent chance for life. I will never forget the scream when her intestines finally burst and killed her. I was on the way from the medication room to administer a lethal dose of drugs to her when this occurred. I did save the baby but it took another 2 weeks before he was out of the woods.
I will never, in my life allow another animal to go through this much suffering again. This one haunts me still after 20 years.

[GMV]

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[marie83]

Ah wolf, that's a horrendous situation to be in and i've seen some pretty shocking things over the years.

Unfortunately GMV the mouse is not the only one i've had die, there's been many, some before their time, some that have lived beyond expectations. I've just been lucky that I haven't had to make the choice much given the vast number of animals I've had

[Pajarita]

So very sorry for your loss. I've also had to put many animals to sleep and it has gotten a bit easier over the years but it's still hard.

[marie83]

Arghhh I can't believe how quickly these mouse tumours grow. I discovered one on star (another female from same litter as flash) on Sunday. 5 days on its about double in size.
Star is a milk chocolate brown coloured mouse with a white star shape on her head. She's a cheeky money and often sneaks out the nest before the others to get her first choice on food, she also has a habit of trying to dig up the flying saucers.
I can see me having to make "that" decision again before Christmas is here if the growth keeps up at that speed.

[liz]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. You saved him from a lot of torment and pain.

My son had a little hamster named Rascal. He was really unusual as when he would get out he did not become a rodent but would come to one of us to play. The life span of these little guys is only 2 years and Rascal had a good 2 years before he went bald. The vet chalked it up to living beyond his time.

He still seemed happy. His skin would get dry so I gave him warm baths and my father shared his cortizon cream. (My dad had Hodgkins lymphoma and would talk to Rascal and tell him he was the only one who knew how he felt.)

I had a job that required I had to be at work at 6:30 am. One morning Rascal had three seizures while I was getting ready for work. I could not leave him that way and had to figure a way of ending him without pain. I put him in the car and drove to where I knew there was a straight away. I taped the entrance to his little tissue box and put it in front of my back tire, gunned my car and ended his life. It was a traumatizing event that I will never forget. I console myself that he was asleep in his little box and there was no way he could have felt any pain the way I did it.

LORD, don't let me have to go through that again.

[marie83]

Liz, one of our Hamsters went bald too and he was much older than their expected lifespan (I think about 2 years as well). The vet said it was some sort of immune system problem, little strider did well without his hair and otherwise seemed healthy, we just kept the temp up in his room a little more and gave extra bedding. We eventually had him PTS as his skin went really sore and scabby.

[TooLove]

I'm sorry for your loss Marie. You are entirely spot on about the questions that you struggle with before and after making such a difficult decision. I've been through thousands of euthanasias with clients and their animals and those questions invariably come up time and time again. It never gets easier unfortunately. You are right that you just need to go with your gut instinct, and even veterinarians become conflicted when it comes to these decisions. Personally I think that euthanasia is the greatest gift you can give to a suffering animal. Try not to plague yourself with what ifs, or maybes and just remember your mouse during all the good, healthy times. You made your decision out of love and now your mouse is not suffering or in pain because of it.

[marie83]

Thanks toolove, I know it was the right thing - it's just a sad thing. I was just hoping the thread and everyone's contribution might help others who might be conflicted about making the decision and realise everyone will go through all the conflicting thoughts and questions- that they aren't alone in it basically.