My parrot passed away this morning

[Tsubakie]

I lost one of the big loves of my life this morning and I'm at a loss. My CAG Bailey is no longer with me and I'm just beside myself. He passed away a couple hours ago while at the vet as he wasn't himself. I'm grateful for the last 24 hours we had together. They were precious, full of scratches, hugs, kisses and closeness. I'm missing him so much and it's so quiet in my house. My husband is precious, right now he is putting away all the toys and cages because I just can't do it. He's using a cleaner in the same room as the cage and I can't stop myself from thinking that he' can't use it because the fumes are bad for my bird and when he opened the door I had a second of panic that Bailey would get out. It's going to take a long time to get over this loss. I've had my baby since he was weaned and I don't know what i'm going to do. The only avian vet in town was so kind to get us in first thing and were so gentle and understanding. The vet offered a autopsy (which i will do and he will let me know whether Bailey was a boy or girl) and I will have my baby cremated with his ashes returned to me. They were kind enough to give me his leg band and did not hesitate to get it when I asked. On a secondary note I already planned and paid for another parrot that I was going to bring home this weekend. I'm so worried now and I don't want to bring in another parrot that could get sick. Especially since we are not certain what happened with Bailey (The vet does think it was respiratory) I've always been so careful about toxins, I have no scented candles, I don't use harsh cleaners, I don't use teflon, there are no other birds in the house. I'm just at a loss and grief, thank you listening

[cml]

I am so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine losing my birds. They are my babies as your CAG was yours, and we bird owners form a bond with our birds that is hard for others to understand.

It sounds like you've done everything right with no toxins, teflon or the like and an autopsy will help to rule out potential hazards in your house. Its a great thing (though I imagine hard) to do as you are getting another bird. Is it possible for you to delay picking up the new bird until you get the results from your vet? I am sure the breeder will understand.

Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do to help, just ask away on the forum.

Best regards,
CML

[Tsubakie]

Hi, Yes thank you for the kindness. I'll be talking to the woman tomorrow about picking up the other parrot (she rescued a bare-eye cockatoo and he needed a good home) She works at the same place I do and she has a few parrots of her own. I'm sure she will understand until I get the results back. The last thing i want to do is lose another parrot if it can be avoided at all costs. To be honest I don't even remember how long the vet said it would take. I remember him explaining the cremation process and Bailey will be returned to me next week. He might have said next week for the autopsy results as well.
thank you again <3 I knew there would be people here who would understand

[Wolf]

I am so sorry for your loss it is so hard to lose a family member and even worse when you don't know why, although it sounds to me that you have done the best that anyone could have done. Again I am sorry for the loss of your family member.

[Tsubakie]

Thank you Wolf. My boys came over to be with me yesterday. My oldest and Bailey were good buddies too. I'm so grateful for my family, they are so understanding and they know how much I loved my parrot. It helps that they are here with me I haven't taken to the death of a family pet this hard before, he was such a big part of my life. My husband is having a difficult time too but we are together and helping each other. I can hear him doing his whistle greeting. He says it's going to be hard to stop doing it but it's not bothering me. I'm finding it helpful to cut through the silence in the house. The two of them had a routine, whenever my husband came home from work or out somewhere they had a whistle greeting they would do. Bailey would vocalize back the same whistle, his own greeting vocalization he did whenever he was happy to see him, next he'd say "hey buddy!", then it was treat time, his favorite, Almonds. It's going to be hard, whenever I left the house he would say "see you later" or "time to go to work" he was so smart and knew the difference between leaving for work or just going out (which was not very often, I prefer to stay home) Thank you for your understanding, it's helping me to talk about it, but it's going to be hard to get the vision out of my head of his passing but I'm sure that over time I'll begin to think about other times and I'm just glad he knew I was there. I'm just so heartbroken.
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Update: The vet called me back today and informed me Bailey was a girl (never laid a egg in 11yrs) which I'm totally surprised about. Strange, I suddenly feel better after speaking with him, I was convinced I did something horribly wrong causing her premature demise. I suppose I'm just beating myself up and thinking 'what if", which would drive you insane..
She had a enlarged heart with left ventricle issues, soft liver (w/lesions) some fluid in the lungs and body cavity. He couldn't say 100% what caused it and was probably going on for some time. Bailey had always been on a pellet diet with nuts/seed as a treat, fruits, veggies, rice, pasta - so I ok'd sending off the samples he took for more inquiry.
He also said I could keep the cage, acrylic toys, concrete perches b/c they can be disinfected. Would be a good idea to throw away food, treats, wooden/rope toys (which I was anyway) and wouldn't hurt to throw out the wood perches and start fresh. Hopefully I'll remember to take measurements. I spoke with the woman I'm getting the cockatoo from - she's totally ok with waiting until the results come back which will be in about a week and she was upset too. She came over to talk to me this morning at work and I started welling up
Today I am a little better though but it's still too quiet in my house

[Water]

I hope that sharing this will make you feel a wee bit better. Losing a pet would be like losing your own child. Be careful about the new one you're going to get. I feel terrible for your loss.

[liz]

It sounds harsh of me but I think it is harder to loose a critter baby. Comparing the critters to the humans I lost, critters are harder. My grandparents and parents left a hole in my life but I had plenty of warning to love them and hold them until the end. My father's mother died when I was 13 of a heart attack in our living room. She didn't give us any warning but her last breath was reciting the LORD's prayer. I want to go the way she did. She was laughing just a moment before. My mother's mother warned us for 2 years that it would soon be time to go. My father lived with Hodgkins Lymphoma for 16 years and was ready to go. My mother was the toughest woman I will ever know. I only got 2 months warning from her before she died of cancer but I spent every minute of those 2 months with her and able to talk about what was ahead.
Tweetle Dumb is the only one to give me warning at that was only because I watched Tweetle Dee take care of him. Other than that the others were a shock. The last one being Sweetie who I thought was trying to lay an egg. Why didn't I sit with her? I should have. Others like Charlene died in my hand. I was with her but could do nothing.
I would like to tell you it gets easier. I still feel the loss of each one and wish I would have at least known to spend the last time with them.
It won't help you but I am sorry for your loss.

[Pajarita]

I am so very sorry for your loss, my dear! After eleven years together, it feels like there is hole that cannot be filled again, doesn't it? It's amazing how much we end up loving them...

It doesn't sound as if she died of a contagious disease... For what the vet told you about the visual necropsy, it seems that she had serious liver malfunction (when the liver is not working right, fluid accumulates impairing the heart's function and, the body, trying to 'make up' for it, makes it larger) which, unfortunately, it's much more common with pet parrots than people realize so I would urge you to, please, read our recommendations on a fresh food diet instead of free-fed pellets for your future bird.