I hate myself.

[Roonil Wazlib]

I have to sell my baby.
My relationship ended a couple of months ago, so i had no where to go but back home to my parents. My mum is anal about keeping the house clean and Julian is making that very hard for her. I don’t want him cage bound, and that’s what it has come to.

I feel like the worst person in the world. I'm so stuck because I know he's made so much progress with me and he's doing so much better for it. His feathers have almost re-grown back with full color and no stress bars, and his undercoat isn't showing though. He's happy and talking constantly. He's had a much better life with me and we love each other, but now that I'm back with my parents life has seriously changed and I can't spend as much time with him as I did before, and my mum has tried to welcome him, but she's very anal about tidiness, and its her home, and hes too messy for her. She told me that she wants him in the cage from now on, except for night when i can take him out to play with him, but obviously its night and bed time for him.

I don't want to let him go, but I think it will be the best thing for him and I hate that.
I'm wanting to make sure the person I give him to will be the best person for him, so i won't be giving him away easily. I want to keep in touch with them about him. Hoping to find someone who has a parrot already. I'm just dying on the inside typing this out. Have you got any tips to help the both of us though this? I don't want to make another transition for him any harder then what it will already be. I thought I was going to be his forever home. It hurts so much.

I mean, should I try to keep in contact with the person for a long time, because what if he dies in their care? That would destroy me because it would be my fault.

EDIT: I'm thinking that maybe I wait a little longer until I put him up. Maybe it will be easier with him in my room when I finally move in there. I might be able to afford to make an outdoor aviry with time.

[liz]

that is unusual. my parents changed the house rules to get me to move home.

don't give him up. find a foster or a shelter that will foster. for some reason your mom does not realize that he is your baby.

[Pajarita]

Liz, I know your intentions are good but long term boarding doesn't work for parrots. It's just not fair to them to get them to bond with a new person just to leave after a while.

I don't know what to tell you, my dear.... Is there any possibility that you might be able to find a roommate (so you can share the rent) that likes birds? How about talking your mother into making a corner of a room into a 'birdroom' of sorts so he doesn't poop all over the place? You can lay down some linoleum (cheap, easy to clean and you can get the one that doesn't have to be glued down) and separate this part of the room with lattice or something, put a couple of stands and/or perches in there and he can be in it during the day while you are not there.

Now, if you can't get your mother to agree to some sort of an accommodation and need to rehome him, please choose a middle-age person (young people's lives are too unstable) that stays at home and just keep in touch through emails and/or phone calls for a while but not forever (it wouldn't be fair to the new owner). And don't visit because it will break his heart.

[liz]

what I was thinking was if she rehomed her baby then 6 months from now something changed in her life so she could have a bird. she would really regret it.

[Pajarita]

Yes, but, by then, the bird would have already gotten used to his new home and bonded with the new owner and moving back would have been another heartbreak. It would work for the human but it doesn't work for the bird. That was my point.

[Roonil Wazlib]

yeah. I couldn't send him to a foster home only to take him back a few months later, that would be much too hard on him.

Thankfully my mum says that we might be able to build an aviary attached to the side of the house. So he'll be in his big cage at night and in the aviary during the day, and i can play with him in the aviary or down in my room where his sleeping cage will be. So i feel so much better and fingers crossed this will go ahead, because i really don't want want to sell him

[liz]

my fingers are crossed

[Wolf]

I was hoping that you would find a way to work this out, but it will also mean that you will need to spend time outside with him as out of sight out of mind doesn't work for them and I am somewhat worried about his being alone outside. Your aviary will need to protect not only against predators like rats and larger but also snakes and such and it would probably be a good idea to put up some form of screening or netting o help control insects Just thoughts to help make a better aviary for him.

[Pajarita]

I agree with Wolf, you need to sit down and think carefully about what the aviary will require to be safe for him to be outside. Also, please take into consideration that parrots are stolen all the time so you will need either for him to be out of sight from the street, protected by a tall fence or spiny bushes or something... And maybe, just maybe, your mother will learn to love him and will put up with the poop. My husband is a bit of a maniac about poop but what I did was put a large piece of linoleum under the cages I keep in the living and dining room and I clean it before he gets up so, although it gets pooped on during the day, it never looks bad and it's always easy to wipe. This is mostly for the old ladies (two old amazon hens that live together) because they have BIG poops and they like to climb from cage to cage, pooping all the way and back
I had brought them out of the birdroom because Pedro (a wild-caught male and mean amazon) was bullying them and was planning on returning them there after he left -which I did- but they were not happy so I brought them back out again and SURPRISE! my husband was fine with itHe realized that they are really no trouble at all as they don't scream, don't chew stuff, etc - well, except for the poop- and he has learned to enjoy their talk (he loves Mami and always answers her: "I love you, too!" when she says "I love you"). And my husband is NOT a parrot person at all! So don't lose hope, your mother might still come around...

[Chantilly]

Hopefully everything works out, and best of luck!