Children owning Parrots

[ParrotsForLife]

Well thankfully here in Ireland you don't sort of live in College so ill still be with my birds and Pajarita you are right in all you said and I think its much harder owning a parrot or any pet as a child than an adult and the biggest thing thats in the way that makes it harder is School it is not easy to focus on school when your getting the birds food ready in the morning or when your doing homework and they are being mischievous.There is also time and you have to put your birds first before anything else.I really wouldn't recommend a Parrot for a child and I can handle my birds care but not everybody can so some people should really think before buying a Parrot.

[Wolf]

Everybody should think and research before getting a bird of any kind, or any other animal, although we are now living in the computer age animals are simply not plug and play, they are complicated, thinking, feeling living beings all deserving of love and respect just like anyone else that you know.

[pukeko]

I really appreciate the way this thread has developed - I think it has done an excellent and relatively concise job of explaining why most kids shouldn't get a parrot, and why the ones who do should have parents who are as invested and well-educated as their child is. Sorry my responses are always so long...

As the parents are more likely (as likely as any adult, perhaps) to have a stable schedule and ability to commit time and funds, I do think that it is vital for them to be the default carers for any birds in family situations. Vet care is one that I can think of at least two cases on here where the parents did not understand or care about rapid vet responses and the birds paid for it. As home owners and their children's caretakers, they should also definitely be involved in risk management and enacting preventative measures (especially routines and behaviors) for the family to follow to decrease the danger of bites and property damage. Here is really where an engaged and educated parent shines, I think - it is a rare parent who will agree to putting ss corners on tempting doors or to not make that one sound that makes the bird do that hilarious temper tantrum just on the word of their child, but one who has hit the books and the forums? That seems like it would have much more of an effect.

One interesting possibility for family parrots would be having a juvenile bird grow up with the family, and the bird having the choice of who to stay with when the adult children disperse. This would potentially allow for a committed parent to also act as the bird's 'parent' diring its extended juvenile phase, and for it not to be uncomfortably trapped with its 'parents' once it reaches maturity. Of course, that is a very, very odd proposition for a family to commit to - "let's get a bird! Five to ten years down the line, one of you bird-crazy kids might just be picked, after we all deal with hormonal maturity! Otherwise, you can visit and might inherit the bird when we can no longer care for it!" Hmmm...
One problem with this idea is that it requires commitment in a time scale far, far beyond the actual behavior of most people (will my 11 year old, who loves the bird, actually be ok committing when they are 18?), and another is that it has the potential to be more of a commitment by the adult on the part of the kid that the kid will commit than a commitment by the kid, with full understanding of how their life may change in a decade as they fully assume the role which has never felt properly like their own before. Kids who wind up with birds as 'their bird' have much more of that feeling of commitment, even if they are fuly supported in their role, than kids who grow up with an idea of 'one day' committing.
But it might help all of the hand raised birds to feel a little less trapped when they want to have a special human all of their own, to have a family full of options when the time comes.
For birds with shorter juvenile periods, it would undoubtedly be better if they were brought home at a time when a child could fully commit... but it is still probably better for them to feel like they are involved in a flock/family than that they are stuck in the child's room with no other people who are willing to interact in ways the bird likes. Suk was undeniably enriched by her bonds with my sibling and parent, even if one of those (parent and default carer) was a hands off relationship and necessitated stick/cup training. Parrots are good at having rich hands-off relationships, and it is up to us handsy mammals to accept and enjoy those relationships for what they are.

Parrotsforlife and Pajarita (sorry I keep adding an extra 'r'!), kid flightiness is a good rule of thumb, but there are plenty of kids who can and do commit to many things. Musicians, athletes, artists, academics, and animal owners - all have many, many examples of people who started young and followed through with their commitment - their passion- for most or all of their lives. The difference with animals is that unlike the guitar, in weeding out the ones who are just trying from the ones who do, the animals have a high potential of being hurt. That is again why I think it is so vital for the family to be equally engaged and educated as the child, so that the commitment to try is spread across the whole household and doesn't overly penalise the child for changing as they grow up.

As for maturity, bonding and biting... I think that that needs to be both a parental decision (risk) and a family commitment to trying again and again in new ways; understanding that parrots like to have more than one type of relationship and that hands off ones are great too. Bird no longer cuddles? Let it cuddle who it likes, and when the disappointed one has processed it a little, ask them to try being the dancing buddy, or to see if they can teach the bird a new behavior or word, something for them to share and then share with the rest of the family if they like. For birds who are deliberately hunting down specific family members to do harm, I think that is a much bigger issue and more to do with environment, routine, hormones and the intricate balance of lifestyle factors which can push a bird to that state than it being a regular risk which needs to be worked around like chunks being taken from a bannister or trying to extinguish that one sound one family member hates.

Wolf: "while providing the means for the child to do so" This is awsome, and so very true. Helping the kid to get a part time job, ensuring that they have resources to do what they need to do for themselves, their bird(s) and their schooling, that is awesome parenting. Responsibility is possible, but it is certainly a much nicer thing if you are set up to succeed.

Perhaps the parent never* cleans a cage, never* feeds the bird, and doesn't buy toys or bird-specific food, but instead helps the kid to get that part time job, has an emergency vet fund up to x amount which the kid can supplement, buys organic veg with the groceries, and helps carry the big cage outside when it gets stuck in the door. Yay. But they also need to be willing to help directly when supplementing is not enough - when the learner driver needs to take the bird to the vet past their legal driving time (don't think USA has this, but some countries don't allow learner drivers to drive at night without a fully licensed driver accompanying them), or when the vet fund is depleted, the family can handle it, and vet care is still in the bird's best interests, or when the kid gets a scholarship to a short program overseas or in set housing and the *parent has practiced stick handling and is skilled with care, though they never normally need to use those skills, and can take over safely without being overwhelmed, for example. I think that is all a part of setting the child up to succeed at committing to such a big responsibility.

[Chantilly]

To me it is a matter of whether is is the childs pet or a family pet.
I mean, if the kid gets a parrot, sure if he/she dosnt have a reasonable paying job the parents can help pay for feed and vet trips (and should be supportive and do so, Its their kid and so the kids pet should also be their responsibility to a point). But if its a family pet everyone should contribute as much as possibe.

[Wolf]

Regardless of whose animal it actually is, if the parents are going to allow a child to get the bird or whatever animal they are the ones that are ultimately responsible for the animals welfare and should be ready and willing to accept that responsibility, even while teaching the child about his/her responsibilities with said animal. Jut my thought.

Here is another thought of mine, based on having had many animals of many types through the years. The animal is not likely to be concerned with whose animal it is. The animal is going to interact with whoever it wants to and in most cases that is everyone in the home. Having any animal impacts everyone in one way or the other anyone who lives in the home and for this reason alone everyone involved should be in agreement about getting the animal regardless of whose animal it is.

[Pajarita]

I agree with all of you. Yes, if the 'kid's bird' is actually everybody's bird, and if the kid is the kind that will have the same enthusiasm and love for the bird ten and twenty years down the road, and if the parents take whole responsibility for expenses and back-up care as well as committing to keeping the bird after the kid leaves, etc. it can work out but the problem with this scenario is that there are too many 'ifs' and if (and forgive the almost pun) a single 'if' fails, the bird will suffer. People have always the best intentions but very few of them actually carries them through. One thinks one can do anything forever but, as the years go by, the initial enthusiasm and resolution of doing well by the bird fall on the side of the road. Just look at all the CL ads for rehoming animals and what their reasons are: I got a new job, a second job, a husband, a baby, relocating, going away to school, been sent overseas, and, my favorite for all the rehoming birds: "I no longer have the time she needs" -which, in reality, it means: "I no longer want to spend the time with her". And parents of kids that go to college have been waiting for 'freedom' from daily responsibility for years and years. They want to travel, they want to stay late in bed, they want to pursue new hobbies, etc etc. They do NOT want a bird that will extend their caregiving years another ten or twenty.

Can there be a family that works out? Yes, of course there can be! But how many of them are there versus how many kids want a parrot to show off? People don't even keep an 'easy' animal like a dog that is only going to live 8, 10 or 15 years - do you actually think that they are going to keep a super difficult animal like a parrot for 30 or 40 years?! If you do, you must live in a different world than I.

[pukeko]

Rare, and unfortunately pretty much impossible to predict even by the family members themselves, but these sorts of families do exist. I think the 'impossible to predict' element is really the biggest thing, really, as 30-40 years is kind of impossible to treat as anything other than an abstraction, and no one can predict things like the development of allergies or cancer, or other events of a different scope than 'lost interest' or 'became inconvenient'. But relative security and planning for the worst are all that we can really rely on for all of our goals and dependents anyway. And the "second or third job" reason is actually one which would have a major impact on the bird's quality of life regardless...

Several students I know have other students who are regularly scheduled companions for their animals, which helps everyone involved. Student communities are actually very good sources of very scheduled and animal deprived people, if you want to train some daily/weekly companions or weekend birdsitters! Vet carefully and train over an extended period of time as you like, of course, but they are potentially a short- to mid-term answer for having to pick up hours away from home.

I suppose having an extended network or plan is important, too, then. I have a couple of bird-godparents, and others who I would trust to rehome if need be and if my family could not step up for some reason. Planning for just in case, yes? What sorts of plans do all of you have, if you could no longer care for your bird(s)?

But again, having the whole family involved and committed, albeit to different degrees over the life of the bird, means that you have that many more people who can potentially support you or step in, and who are already in a relationship with the bird.

I suppose my view point largely came from all of our animals really being family animals, despite nominal claims of 'ownership' and favorites played by people and animals over the years. The more flexible dynamic meant that there was generally a companion for everyone, especially with one furred family member who was determined to carefully share their time with every human around in nearly equal parts.

[liz]

I have had to care for many species that my kids brought home. It would be like they wanted it but their schedules did not match up with what the animal needs. The worst was gaters. My daughter brought 2 home without researching what they need. They were in a big fish tank that was very small to them and I was so upset that Rachel had to take them to the zoo. From scorpions and hermit crabs up to a very large dog I have compassion for them and even learn personalities. Yes scorpeans have personalities.

[Chantilly]

I have had to care for many species that my kids brought home. It would be like they wanted it but their schedules did not match up with what the animal needs. The worst was gaters. My daughter brought 2 home without researching what they need. They were in a big fish tank that was very small to them and I was so upset that Rachel had to take them to the zoo. From scorpions and hermit crabs up to a very large dog I have compassion for them and even learn personalities. Yes scorpeans have personalities.