HAVENT FOUND ANY GOOD ADVICE ON THIS SITE ILL EXPLAIN!!!

[Wolf]

Alright, I know that some members think that I should not do this on the forum and should oly say this in PM's, but I am going to say it here and in the other posting as well.

Please if you do not have a constructive way of discussing this. please take the fighting to the PM's and not here. If you have anything to say constructively then please do. If the OP says they felt put upon and disrespected then whether you or I or anyone else like it or not or agree or not then that is what he felt and I can only hope that the fighting over it ceases so that this can be listened to and corrected if possible. This has been a complaint on this forum for a long time and we should be able to do better.

[seagoatdeb]

Well, I am hoping that what I say is constructive here, and it should be if people take it the way I mean it to be. The op made the post. He told us how he feels, and I have seen another thread where he apologized to this site for the way he expressed it, and said he did get some good info here. The OP had been upset by feeling chewed out and labeled as impatient. The OP also said on another chain some of the way he was talked to made him feel hopeless. Thats good feedback, we should take a look at. Most people dont post, only the minority of people will tell you.

It was the OP who mentioned Brandon, and I dont even understand why anyone would have decided it was okay to post anything about Brandon, or the methods he used to help this person with on pure speculation. This is what needs to be looked at. The older members here can be very black and white about how parrots should be treated, and then pile up on someone. I am sure you hurt and upset Brandon, and if the ones who made the comments cant see that, then they need to start seeing that. Brandon was not even the one posting.

This forum has many good posts about training parrots, health information, and will go to great lengths to help someone. it is a good forum. It is the members with a few parrots who will be training, and learning and getting support the most. They are the majority here.

You dont have to understand what everyone is doing completely, it is a persons right to choose. There have been many comments about the parrots must come first but the parrots are not members here, people are. More respect in the way people are treated is what is needed, if you want to help their parrots. A superior attitude should not be used, try to rein that in, everyone started somewhere, and if we looked at each persons home and their parrots, even the members with many parrots, I am sure there are things we would do different because we think our way is better. But evey parrot is different. I have had parrots that could be handled immediately when they were rehomed, it was a honeymoon, but we worked through thing after. Some parrots cant be handled immediately.

We cant be right there seeing what people are doing and can only go one what they have communicated so far. We are the ones who need to be patient, and treat people with patience. The person who own the parrot is the member and we can only support the parrots through our relationships with the members. Even if you are very worried about their parrots, be patient and talk with respect to the person.

This is a great group, let it be great.

[Pajarita]

I think your comment was a bit unfair to other people, Seagoatdeb. We ALL try to be helpful and say constructive things - unfortunately, we all miss the mark sometimes. Me, you, everybody. Lord knows I am an old pro at offending people without meaning to... but, again, we all end up, sooner or later, committing the same sin. For example, I could say that your telling 'the old members' that they are too 'black and white' and instructing people on how they should or should not address complaints, postings, etc is, in a way, adopting a superior attitude -which is, precisely, the same thing you are condemning (and rightly so!).

I am not criticizing your post or trying to make you feel bad, I am just trying to point out that it's easy for things to come out the wrong way or be misconstrued even when we don't mean them in any negative way (I know you were actually trying to be helpful) so let's ALL of us agree to try harder not only in the way we post but also in giving other people's postings the benefit of the doubt and leave it at that without bringing up who did what when.

I am very sorry the OP feels the way he does and if he feels that he is better helped somewhere else, I think he should go where he feels he gets the most benefit but I also hope he would give us the benefit of the doubt and stay because, as you say, there is a lot of very good information here.

[seagoatdeb]

Yes lets all agree to be more patient and polite. i dont have to use the words black and white, but I do feel it is important to see, where members feel pounced on, and not be one of the pouncers, so was just looking for a generic term that would not inflame anyone but instead would let them start to look objectively at these complaints that affect the new members and all be nicer on this forum.

[ParrotsForLife]

Yes lets all agree to be more patient and polite. i dont have to use the words black and white, but I do feel it is important to see, where members feel pounced on, and not be one of the pouncers, so was just looking for a generic term that would not inflame anyone but instead would let them start to look objectively at these complaints that affect the new members and all be nicer on this forum.

True.Im sure some people would leave if they saw new members being attacked and new members would leave if they are being attacked.Sometimes you are a little harsh Pajarita even if you don't mean to but thats not an excuse for your behaviour your responsible for your actions.

[Wolf]

Once many years ago a friend told me that I should be careful of stones that I threw, that if I would just look at it honestly that I would find that the very things that bothered me the most in other people were the same things that I sew in myself and didn't want to admit to. He said that many times the other person was just a mirror for me to look at those things in myself that I either would not or could not see otherwise.

Think about it.

[Bird woman]

wow! I just found this site and am learning how to navigate it. But holy cow there seems to be a lot of bickering , is this normal? I have a small private bird rescue and have much earned over the years experience to share and even more to learn to always better my flocks life. I hope I've found a place to learn and share my knowledge with others like myself that love my birds unconditionally. Am I in the right place? Bird woman ,southern Oregon

[ParrotsForLife]

:o wow! I just found this site and am learning how to navigate it. But holy cow there seems to be a lot of bickering , is this normal? I have a small private bird rescue and have much earned over the years experience to share and even more to learn to always better my flocks life. I hope I've found a place to learn and share my knowledge with others like myself that love my birds unconditionally. Am I in the right place? Bird woman ,southern Oregon

Apparently there is bickering occasionally and it needs to stop some people just don't stand up for themselves and show who the real trouble maker is.

[Chantilly]

:o wow! I just found this site and am learning how to navigate it. But holy cow there seems to be a lot of bickering , is this normal? I have a small private bird rescue and have much earned over the years experience to share and even more to learn to always better my flocks life. I hope I've found a place to learn and share my knowledge with others like myself that love my birds unconditionally. Am I in the right place? Bird woman ,southern Oregon

I think you are at the right place .
The forum is very rarely like this, in fact this is the first time I have actually been here when it happened, things are cooling down though .
In general this forum is an AMAZING place to share, learn and teach... I have learnt something from everyone and I am certain that not only will you will be able to both learn here, and also teach us all. things I hope you dont let the recent events deter you from being here. And I see this is your first post, so welcome to the forum! We would love to get to know you, could I suggest you make a thread about you and all your beautiful babies in the introduction?

[Wolf]

No it is not always like this, but it does happen from time to time. It will pass shortly and then thing will be back to normal and you can make a better assessment of the forum. We all have bad hair days now and then.