Burnout

[Grey_Moon]

It's been one of those weeks.

I can (ashamedly) admit that I'm suffering birdie burnout.
I will NEVER rehome her, but I have days where I get tired and scared. I get depressed and tired. The lack of joy I feel sometimes thinking about her scares me.

I wonder how those of you with multiple parrots especially manage it.
I feel bad for admitting that I'm not always looking forward to seeing her, to scrubbing bird poop and mess...and sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't care for a bird.

I wonder how many people manage to make the entire lifetime commitment without doing it begrudgingly.
I don't want to end up like that.

I will never condone people my age taking on these creatures, but it is what it is for me, and I promised.

I just wonder how it is that people negotiate life's ups and downs while still keeping a smile on their face for their bird.

In the last year and a half I've miscarried, been hospitalized twice, my mother's been in and out of the hospital for open heart surgeries and emergencies...

And to top it all off, Jacko's due for another $700 ultrasound in the spring, and I'll be just finished paying off the last one. Never mind the hundreds of dollars of dental work I need and other things.
I'm a student with a disability, money is hard to come by, but her bills are paid, she's got homemade fresh food to eat and the best I can give her.

i just feel like it doesn't end---I dig myself out of the debt hole, and then I'm right back in.

I'd just like to buy a pair of jeans or something...to replace the threadbare pair I have.

I promised her I would never rehome her--to boot she's an older bird with allergies and a funky heart from being fed coffee and steak in one of her previous homes.

She's been with me for 8 years and the vast majority of that time has been a joy and I can only imagine what awaits for a bird who is intolerant of other animals and small children, doesn't trust most people, doesn't talk (in spite of 'being an african grey') and tends to being easily stressed. She plucks from pain and when stressed it doesn't help. Where I live is reknown for puppy mills, backyard breeders, overflowing pet stores and a few bird rescues---the good ones being full and the others being closer to hoarders than not. Our animal rights laws are few.

I know that I can never abandon her into that.
I'm hoping more that other people can give me tips to weather the bad days.

Sorry for the rant guys, but its a serious question. Do you feel like this sometimes? How do you cope? I'd really appreciate some help.

[pennyandrocky]

of course i have felt this way not only with my fids but my human child as well. my first was the biggest stress since he was in a way forced on me by irresponsible people. my uncle bought cebal then married a woman who didn't want the bird around so he was passed through the family until i decided he'd had enough being tossed around and locked away in closets and commited myself to him when i was only a teen.real parents feel this way sometimes my house would be cleaner and quieter. i would have more money and be able to leave whenever i want. i wouldn't have to choose jobs based on being home more.the worst for me is when i think these beautiful animals should be in the wild with a real flock and the freedom to go where the please.or if not in the wild in some big mansion with more space to fly and toys. either way i feel they deserve better than me but then they look at me with so much love and i think they would still choose to be with me and i can't see my life without them. with my first i screwed up alot i would sometimes yell at him and curse the day i said i would take care of him forever now that he's gone i miss him everyday almost 2 years later.i don't know about the rescues around you but the place i adopted mya from doesn't just come and take your bird they offer emotional support as well we all know how difficult it is to care for birds which is why i compare supporting teens wanting to commit to this to teen pregnancy like a baby it's not easy and is a lifetime commitment.i hope you feel better i know you love jacko.

[liz]

I am a disabled Viet Nam veteran with an auto-immune desease similar to Lupus. In 1994 the doctors told my mother I would not see morning. By the grace of GOD I disproved them. Two more times over the years she was told the same thing. We were not afraid because the LORD had told me that I could stay with my mother. There were times, 9 months being the longest, that I could not care for myself. My mother and aunt in their late 60s had to care for me.

They are in their 80s now and both invalids. Thank the LORD that I am well enough to take care of them with help. My help is my daughter who also moved into the house.

I had 2 dogs and 2 cats, Rambo and 4 cockatiels. When she moved in she had 32 animals with her. True insanity because we live in the city limits. Since then I added Myrtle.

To get help with the Elders and be able to leave the house to do shopping and errands, I am also taking care of her animals. My daughter is a horder who was not giving them good enough care to suit me.

Financially I have a small Social Security pension because I was disable at the age of 44 and a small VA pension because I have not prooved service connected disability.

There are times and they are getting more often that I am just plain tired or caring for everyone else. This morning I got up and took care of the inside pets while drinking my coffee. then brought the Elders their coffee and gave them their pills. While they were drinking their coffee I closed the gate on the deck to keep the house dogs in so I could let the boxers out of their kennels to run and get exercise. While they were running I came back in and fixed breakfast for everyone. I let the boxers run for an hor in the morning and again in the evening then put them back with a nice bowl of foood each. I have to scoop theri lots because my daughter does not think it is nesasary. I change their water after cleaning out their buckets. At about noon my stomack started hurting and I realized that I did not feed me. I grabbed a yogart for breakfast at that time. fNow I have to work on lunch.

If your bird is becoming a problem and you are loosing patients with it - you two do not need each other.

[GreenWing]

*Hugs to all of you*

I've yet to experience birdie burnout, although I have sexual maturity ahead of me which I'm anticipating to be rough. I'll try to offer words of support in any way that I can.

Sometimes, during the rough moments, think about the love you have with your bird. Imagine how much you'd miss your bird if they were no longer with you. Hang in there. We're here for you.

[Grey_Moon]

Thanks for your input guys

As some of you may/may not know I've struggled my whole life with chronic PTSD and depression....when I get triggered or stressed it flares up and I kinda zombie out and dissociate from everything or run around in a background-level panic that I can't get rid of... and other unpleasant stuff. Add that to some chronic physical pain n stiffness (not to mention I get right sick if I don't eat a certain strict way I can't always afford) and sometimes even yours truly has a moment of weakness.

Seeing as I'm running out of funding in the next little bit (last paycheck is December ) and feeling the money squeeze while Winter's coming (its a dangerous frustrating time for me because I become dependent on other people to get around safely) its putting me into a bit of a funk.

Jacko's not going anywhere, because I love her and need her as much as the cranky little gremlin needs me.

On a broader level I think parrot burnout needs to be talked about and prevented because it happens to the best of us.

[Michael]

Just take a break. If it means going out for the night or the weekend, the bird will manage. Go for a walk or visit friends. Don't even bring the bird. It's ok to take a break from it once in a while. With a parrot this usually involves getting out of the house because while home the bird won't leave you alone.

Sometimes I do a lot of training with my parrots and then get tired of it. So for a few weeks I change things up and not do training. Maybe I just take them out for playtime instead or spend less time with them. This is ok and in fact something healthy for them to be used to. Sometimes they are the center of everything and other times it's not all about them.

[cml]

You are a great parrot mom, dont ever forget that.

I have days, where I as you feel burned out and dont feel like taking care of my two parrots as well. I always take care of them nonetheless, but sometimes training or cleaning isnt as fun as other times. It is natural I think because sometimes you give more than they give back, and add stress from your regular life around you and sometimes it doesnt feel good at all. I have a very hectic and stressful schedule with lots of projects running simultaneously.

I, like you, presevere though, because I love my two little parrots to bits. They are wonderful birds and I can really feel how they love me back. Thats what gets me through those days, I know they need me and want to spend time with me. Noone gets as excited when I come home as Stitch, and Leroy trusts noone as he trusts me.

I think we are all great parrot parents, its natural to feel blue sometimes, and you are not alone!
Hope everything looks better for you soon =)!

All the best,
CML

[Polarn]

As with michael I don't nessesarily do any training each and every day but when it comes to be a pooperscooper, the birds are the least of my worries so when I'm done outside and goes inside to take care of the birds thats like vaccation (clean out stables for 10 horses and 4 goats, plus the chicken house, and I do this daily). But yeah like today I grew tired of the birds, well polarn in particular, no matter what I did inside he was right there and doing something he isnt supposed to... while he was on my head(yeah he's there quite frequent) he bit my headset (first time, so no more bird on head when a headset on...) anyways he managed to kill my right speaker... So i put it down and went to watch some TV, then we had a fight over the remote... then he got hold of a doggietoy that wasnt even supposed to be out (Bought it for my sister so bringing it to hers tomorrow when i go) and ofcourse the birdietoy beeping everytime he jumped on it was hilariouse and he really did not want to let it go into the cabinet... If I knew he wouldnt start chew on it but just keep jumping on it I might have let him keep it for a little while... but hey he's a chainsaw with a poopdump underneith... Sometimes I wish I had cages mounted so that I could just close him in when he is getting himself into trouble, but then I could have just locked him into the birdieroom where the others were playing nicely all day...Anyways the day ended nicely, the last 15 minutes before lights out he was sitting on my shoulder preening my sideburns and rubbing his head against my neck... So all forgiven... Oh and I got an appointment to come by a daycare center for children tomorrow as well couse they had looked through my application to be a substitute there and they thoguht I sounded interesting, so that shined some light upon my otherwise bit rainy day (was actually raining outside too, so while cleaning the stables I had to walk in and out in the rain and became wet and cold) just ranting back

Now to my 2c take it easy on yourself, your definitly doing the best you can an it is okay to have an off day every now and then, heck sometimes I do a halfass job on the cleaning, but that comes back biting you in the ass as it is more work the day after... but sometimes it's simply just worth them extra 30 minutes of nothingness.

[Eurycerus]

Oh gosh Grey Moon. I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I understand to some degree, but not quite the severity you're feeling. :[ I have my own health issues that cause a great deal of emotional and physical stress. Sometimes it's all a bit much trying to balance taking care of yourself, and your dependents and trying to earn enough money to stay afloat. I wish you were closer so I could at least make you a dinner or take care of Jacko while you go visit friends or family. You are in my thoughts. I had been thinking about you since I didn't see you on as much lately. You should do something small but nice for yourself. Go to a coffee shop you've never been to and buy a treat and just take a small walk. Get away from your parrot and your space. :]

[marie83]

I don't really have any advice to add to what the others have said but you have bagfulls of my sympathy. Nobody could ever doubt that you are an awesome parrot parent and you have no need to feel any guilt for what you are feeling whatsoever, it happens to everyone from time to time, whether they are caring for pets, friends, children or ageing parents.

Sometimes everything is a chore, some days I get in and I really really cannot be bothered to let them out, prepare their fresh foods or clean them but just like you wouldn't lock a child in its room with a bag of chips from the take away you just get on with it.

My allergies get on top of me alot and I just wish I could have one day where I felt well, ok allergies dont sound too bad but it really is miserable and it does make you feel really poorly when it is day in day out all year long. I wish I didn't have to work 2 jobs just to survive- both jobs I hate now, like you my clothes are long in need of replacement, we have two sets of ailing parents, my mum had a stroke and my bfs mum cannot do much for herself now because of her age. I'm also at college because I dont want to muddle through like this forever. I've also had depression on and off since I was about 15 and about 2 years ago I went through a bit of a breakdown on top of that.

Now I'm not saying all that to say oh cheer up your not the only one going through a bad time, I'm saying it because you are not alone and most people go through stages where life throws EVERYTHING it possibly can at you, but you know what? even if things were perfect we would still all have the odd day or few days where it all feels like ARRRRGHHH or urghhh. We are all human but what is important we go along for the ride instead of being one of the too many people who give up and rehome. That grey moon, is what makes you one of the best, even if it doesn't feel that way at times.


Now as much as Jacko needs caring for, please make time to care for yourself too, even if it means visiting a friend for a night if you cant afford to have a proper night away or have some proper you time at home, pamper yourself (if thats your thing) have a dvd night and a take away, go for a nice long walk if your health allows that, or whatever else helps you to relax a bit. You need it and you deserve it