10 rules for flighted birds

by **kittyhazelton** » Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:13 pm

10 rules to being a fully-flighted bird:
1- Pictures that hang on the wall are meant as landing targets, extra points if you can knock it down.
2- When you fly off from your human’s desk, make sure you flap especially hard near loose paperwork.
3- Always greet new people by flying just high enough over their heads that they have to duck.
4- If the humans are enjoying a meal in the opposite end of the house, it is because they are lonely & you must make sure to fly to them and land on their plate.
5- The books on the highest shelf are there just for you, make sure to spend at least several minutes every day pulling them off to watch them crash to the floor.
6- Cats, dogs, and humans love it when you chase them. But always make sure to dart just out of reach if they try to catch you.
7- When your human is not looking, find a nice high quiet spot to fly to and remain completely still and silent. Then watch in amusement when your human spends the next 2 hours wandering around the house calling and looking for you. When they are out of sight return to your cage & pretend you never left.
8- When perched on top of ceiling fans or chandeliers, always make sure to poop when someone walks underneath.
9- You are a boomerang. If your human tries to put you on your cage or play perch make sure you fly right back to them as soon as they begin to walk away.
10- There is no object too stable to knock over, no bookcase too high to land on, and no piece of furniture too clean to poop on. The whole house is yours!