I'm New and Need to Talk to Someone

[CatieC]

My 20 year old Senegal, JJ pasted away this week. I found him 20 years ago abandoned and took him into my home. We have been best friends since day 1, well maybe day 3 until JJ got use to me. He called me mommy and was with me all the time. He was my second everything, my husband being my first everything. That's how close JJ and I were.

The pain and despair is enormous. I cry all the time. The house is quiet and I miss him more than words can express. I don't know how to get over this. I can't sleep or eat much. I can't bring my self to clean his cage and I find myself standing in front of it just looking in. It might sound weird, but I can smell him. Please don't think I'm crazy.

[GreenWing]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

I know how you feel. I lost my Senegal a couple of years ago. I know exactly the pain you feel and it is so very, very hard.

Allow yourself time to grieve your loss of your beloved bird. Gather feathers and place in a locket... have a memorial for your bird when you feel ready. But most importantly, allow yourself to feel the grief and sadness.

We are here for you. The love you have for your Sennie is forever. Hold that thought in your heart.

Message me if you ever need to talk.

[Wolf]

There is no one here that would begin to think that you are crazy. We all have birds in our lives and we know how very special and wonderful they are. There is no other animal who bonds with us in the same way or shows their love for us like a bird does. So we all understand how you are feeling. We are all touched by your loss and want you to know that you can talk to any one of us.
It takes time to get through the grief and come out the other side. We all understand how it feels to have part of your heart ripped out and the pain that it brings, please know that we share in your pain and sorrow.

[nerdybird]

I have only had my birds a short while, but I lost my first pet a little over a year ago, a maine coone cat I had for 13 years. He was a very special cat, and I still miss him. With how smart parrots are, and how we communicate with them, I can only begin to imagine how it is to lose one, especially after so long.

[CatieC]

Thank you everyone for replying to my post. I have never felt emptiness like this ever in my life. Not even when my brother passed at age 37. It is so quiet here. If I wasn't doing something for JJ, I was doing something with JJ. Even my exercise dance DVD, JJ was a good dancer. I don't know what to do with my day, He is not there to say "morning mommy". I am totally lost. I feel like my life has no meaning.

And to make it worse, yesterday I received a shipment I couldn't stop of his food and 3 new toys. I always liked to change his toys periodically to give him variety.

My mom hugged me yesterday and told me that I was going to be OK. She said I gave JJ 20 years of love and care and he was content and happy. She told me I gave him 20 years of life by rescuing him. 20 years he wouldn't have had otherwise. I know I'm rambling but my friends told me "oh he was only a bird, how can you be so upset". So it helps me to talk to those who understand what I'm going through. Thank you for listening.

[Wolf]

[quote="CatieC"
I know I'm rambling but my friends told me "oh he was only a bird, how can you be so upset". [/quote]

Well you don't have to forgive them for the insensitivity and callousness, although you would be the better person for it, if you did, but try to be more understanding than they are after all they are only human and can't understand these things.

[CatieC]

wolf, I'm not one to hold grudges or be unforgiving, nothing good comes from that. Thanks so much for your concern.

[Pajarita]

First of all, please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss. Secondly, don't hold the comment against your friend. Non-bird people simply do NOT understand but it's their loss and no mistake about it. Have you considered adopting another parrot? I am not trying to be callous about the depth of your loss or implying that another bird could take the place of your beloved companion but having another bird to talk to and to worry about goes a long way toward healing our hearts.

[Wolf]

I guess I came across wrong to you but the simple thing is that I said with a little embellishment that you needed to forgive them for their insensitivity. the thing about their only being human simply refers to the fact that they can't understand how you feel because they have never experienced anything like this ie they are only human. There is nothing bad intended in my words.

[CatieC]

Oh Wolf, please know that I didn't take anything you said as bad. It's just me not thinking clearly, I know you understand.

Pajarita, I haven't thought about adopting another parrot. To tell you the truth, I don't know how I feel about doing that. I think I need some time right now.