by Pajarita » Mon Nov 20, 2017 10:20 am
Welcome to the forum and congrats on your new baby although I am sorry it did not choose you. That aspect of parrots is very frustrating and, I am sorry to say, there is very little that can be done about it so I doubt that Michael's book can help you with that as it is mostly about training -which you should not do with what I assume is a baby bird. If I am right and this bird is, indeed, very young, I suggest you don't train it at all as it will backfire on you, especially since the bird is not bonded to you. Training is a tricky thing with parrots because they did not evolve to be subservient or even obedient [they don't live in hierarchical societies so, as there are no leaders or alphas, there is no need for an obedience or subservience trait] so they don't have the genetic make up for it. It's not that obedience cannot be achieved, it's that the process is long and it has a very definite pre-requisite: the bird has to trust and love you first. But don't worry too much about its preference for a woman, it's most likely because the breeder and the caregiver in the petstore were women and that's all it knows. But this doesn't mean that it will not learn to love you, too!
Now, hand-fed parrots are imprinted to humans so the taming part is already taken care of but you need to build the trust first and then the love bond. Once the bird trusts you implicitly and loves you, it will want to please you. I don't do any training whatsoever and don't give rewards for obedience but my birds are all pretty well behaved and very obedient [sometimes, even more than my dogs and cats!]. The way to earn their trust is to not force it to do anything. You can ask it to step up but, if it doesn't do it, turn away and do something else for a few minutes. Then ask again and, again, go by whatever the bird decides. But don't ask more than three times and don't do it in a row either - you will only create resentment. Parrots are highly intelligent and empathetic animals and actually reach conclusions on their own so treating them with the same respect one would another human being goes a VERY long way with them. Keep your daily routines to the second, always doing the same thing every day at the same time. Mind you, parrots go by the sun so this doesn't mean the same time by the clock but by the sun like always uncover and open the door to the cage when there is the merest amount of light in the sky and before the sun actually rises, always give it its breakfast 1/2 to one hour after this. Allow it rest time at noon, turn off the overhead lights once the sun is halfway down to the horizon and give it its dinner 1/2 hour after this, covering the cage once night falls and the bird is asleep. Parrots are photoperiodic and need to follow a solar schedule or their endocrine system goes out of whack. The best times to interact with the bird [things like shoulder time, playing games, etc] is after breakfast and before their dinner. Talk, sing, whistle, dance for the bird and, every now and then, offer it a treat (something like a sliver of an almond, that kind of thing] but not as a reward for 'good behavior' but as a token of friendship. And limit its interactions with your girlfriend to the merest necessary so it doesn't keep on bonding with her instead of you.
Is this bird just a few months old? Because, if it is, you need to offer it soft food served fresh and warm twice a day. I am sure that you were told that the bird is completely weaned but the reality is that breeders and pet stores wean way too early so as to move the 'merchandise' fast. In the wild, parents continue supplementing their food intake for months and months after the baby starts eating on its own. And, if it's very young, I suggest you handfeed it with a syringe because there is absolutely no better way to make a bird bond with a human than handfeeding it!