by Pajarita » Sun Jul 28, 2019 8:53 am
Welcome to the forum and don't worry, the bird will forgive you.
Now, as you seem to have realized already, asking breeders for advice is not the right thing to do because, to them, birds are breeding stock or merchandise while, to us, they are beloved members of our family. What the breeder told you to do is called a flooding technique. People -and trainers- used to use them all the time but we have learned (and not that recently, either) that these techniques are, pretty much, the opposite of what should be done and that they might work in the short term but that, when they do, they always end up backfiring. Let me explain: a flooding technique is, basically, anything we do to an animal that forces it to accept our supremacy because it has no other choice. Grabbing a little bird that is confused and scared and holding it close to us, forcing it to accept our touch is a text book example of a flooding technique. And it doesn't do anything to reduce the confusion or fear the poor little thing is feeling. All it does is teach the bird that we don't really care what he/she feels or wants, that it's our way or the highway. And now I will tell you why it doesn't work with parrots: because parrots are not hard-wired to even understand the concept of subservience, obedience or accept a 'boss', a leader or an alpha. Parrots are not predators or live in a hierarchical society, they live in extended families where there are no leaders, bosses or anybody/birdy they need to listen to, obey or follow. They all make their individual decisions.
Now, let's see if we can help you overcome the bad advice. For one thing, forget about training. Babies should never be trained. We don't do it with human babies, dogs or horses but, for some reason, people think they can do it with baby birds... But, even if we did, parrots are not like puppies (young of a hierarchical species that has been domesticated for 40,000 and has been bred to be people-oriented for thousands of generations), they don't like all people. They have been tricked into believing that humans are part of their family but that doesn't mean that they will love or even like all humans. You need to win his affection, you need to earn it the same way you would have to earn the love of an adoptive child or an adult human. How do you do this? You do it by showing it respect, treating it with love and patience and, most of all, allowing him/her to set the pace of your relationship.
I am afraid that you got this bird from a bad breeder because a better breeder (I do not believe there are any good breeders but some are better than others) would not have produced a baby that is so scared of humans (and the terrible advice he/she gave you is still more proof of it). Baby birds are usually sweet tempered little things, calm and loving - they don't try to get away from the person who feeds them (by they way, you never said how old the baby is but, if it's under 5 months of age, you should be hand-feeding it). But babies that were fed by gavage or impatiently and/or weaned too early will have issues for the rest of their lives (not my opinion, there are studies that show us this). This does not mean you cannot achieve a good relationship with it so let's go into that now. First thing you need to do is make sure the baby is getting the right kind of food and plenty of it so, if the bird is under 5 months of age, it needs to be offered handfeeding (how often depends on the age). Breeders always tell you they are weaned when, in reality, they are not. It's like saying that toddlers can eat by themselves - yes, they can and will. But mothers not only give them age-appropriate food (they don't get adult food), they also feed them in their mouth so as to ensure they are getting enough. Parent birds do the same and, even when the babies forage right alongside them, they still supplement their intake by feeding them in the beak. So you need to offer soft food (let me know if you don't know what soft food is) served fresh and warm twice a day, fresh raw produce and, for dinner, you should also offer soft seeds (like millet, safflower, etc) and little pieces of nuts (like cashews or walnuts which are softer than, say, almonds).
You also need to stop putting your hand in its cage or going after it. Never corner a bird unless the bird is in danger, always allow it to go back to its cage or come to you of its own volition. It's going to take time now to get to this point because you scared the poor thing but, thankfully for us, parrots are very forgiving of our mistakes as long as we don't repeat them. So, uncover his cage and open the blinds in the room he is kept when you can see the first light in the sky (no later than 5:30 am this time of the year - this is because all birds need to follow a strict solar schedule with exposure to dawn and dusk and not a human one), open the door to its cage and walk away, allowing the bird to come out on its own. Spend as much time as you can in the same room, talking, whistling, singing and, every now and then, offer him a treat BUT if he doesn't take it from your fingers, just leave it where he can reach it and walk away. This is not a training reward or a meal, it's gift from you to him (I like to call it a token of friendship). Do not ask the bird to step up to your finger or hand. Leave it alone and do not stare at it (only predators stare), check on it regularly and constantly but only out of the corner of your eye so it doesn't feel threatened by you (remember that you scared the crap out of him in the past). Go about our chores, clean its cage, put the fresh food in it (you might need to feed it outside the cage the warm food until he gets over your putting your hand in there and gets the 'taste' for the soft food) and wait for him to go back in on its own. If he doesn't go back in, you are going to have to wait until it's dark when you can gently grab him and put him in its cage or for your girlfriend to do it.
Basically, you need to gain his trust - which we all need to do when we first get a bird but which, in your case, is going to take a bit longer because the idiot breeder gave you the wrong advice and made things worse.
Now, eventually, you are going to notice a change in him. His body will no longer look tense when he sees you (feathers will not be flat against its body, eyes will not look scared, he will look relaxed, will preen, eat, drink, stretch out, even take a nap, etc) and, if you continue giving it its space and treats, he will also start looking forward to your company and the goodies. You will see that he moves closer to you (if he is in the cage, he will come to the side of the cage where you are standing, sometimes even grabbing the bars) and he takes the treats right from your fingers without hesitation. When this happens regularly, start putting the treat in the palm of your hand and offering it to him in such a way that he would have to put one foot on your hand to reach it. Don't move and don't rush him. If he doesn't do it, don't give it to him, just walk away and try again later. Try it only three times leaving, at least, 1/4 hour in between attempts and, if he doesn't do it, wait until the following day (but do put the nuts in his cage for dinner). When he does it, praise, praise, praise profusely using always the same words (don't make it a speech) in a peppy, cheerful voice (they become masters of the human tone of voice the same way that, in the wild, they learn to recognize alarm or 'all is well' calls from other species).
If you are patient, persistent, consistent and loving, he will come around and forget all about his first bad experience (birds are wonderfully noble, loving and forgiving animals) and not only trust you but love you for the rest of his life.