Parrot Afraid of Everything?

[Cockatiel Lover]

I have 2 cockatiels, both a year old at this point. I got them from a pet supply store (not my best decision) six months ago. However, both of them are very scared of anything outside of their cage. I can't take them to the aviary vet because they refuse to get in or even be in the presence of their carrier. I have kept the carrier outside of their cage where they can see it for a couple weeks now, but they are still terrified of it. The same goes for a new T-perch I recently purchased for them. They are terrified of it and refuse to be anywhere near it. Inside and on top of the cage, they are a lot more confident. Although they still get scared more easily than other birds in these positions, it is still manageable. My problem is that I can't get them anywhere else where it would be easier to train them. They are scared of anything and everything. Vegetables, rooms, perches, carriers, etc. EVERYTHING. Help?

[Wolf]

OK ! I am back now and have the time to try to help you with your birds. I really don't have much information to work with. You got your birds back in April and requested information on the NU- perch and mentioned that you were trying to get them to start eating leafy green vegetables. Other than they are still afraid of most things and are very reserved in regards to interaction with you, I don't know anything about your birds.
What I do know is that at some point you failed to win their trust and I would guess that this is because you focused your efforts on training rather than earning their trust and bonding with them. You were probably told that training was the way to build a bond with your birds and to be honest it can help a lot but only after you lay the ground work for the training. Thankfully birds can be very forgiving creatures and cockatiels are among the easiest of the parrots to get along with.
I really need you to understand that you are my eyes and ears into your birds world and that I have no other source of information about them, their environment or anything else unless you tell me about it. I could just jump in with my suggestions about how to proceed with your birds to fix the issues that you are experiencing, but I don't think that this would be in the best interests of your birds. The reason for this is that your birds are very intelligent and once they learn something good or not they remember it for quite some time and although I do have some idea of how this went awry, I don't know for certain. I am thinking that the best course of action will prove to be starting all over from the very beginning, but there may be some areas that we can take advantage of based on what you have already done with them.
What I need the most at this time is a basic rundown of what you have done since you got them and I also need to know what their present schedule is like. Tell me about your birds average day starting with when do they get up in the morning, what do they do before breakfast if anything, what do they get for breakfast what happens with them for the rest of the day, when and what do they get for dinner, what time they go to bed, do you give them time out of their cage during the day and if so how much time, do you do daily training sessions with them and if so what do you do for training and how long the training sessions last, Do you train them together or separately? How big is their cage(s), do they live in the same cage or not? do you cover the cage at night? What is in their cage? do they have toys and do they use them?
I know that this part is a big pain in the neck, but the more detailed and accurate the information that you can give me the better I can help your birds to become the friends and companions that you want.

[Cockatiel Lover]

Thanks for taking your time to reply, Wolf. Made my day.
I guess I have been trying to bond with my birds through training. Somewhere along the way, I unintentionally made it clear in my head that my parrots have earned to "love" me through their training. On several websites I have read that a bird will never actually love their owners. They will just want to use them to "survive", or get treats and food. I have wanted this to be proven wrong so much, so if this is ,in any way, incorrect then do let me know. But how do I earn their trust? I am around their cage for the majority of the day after I get home from school, as are my other family members.
As for the schedule, it is not very strict, but follows the same general pattern every day. On weekdays, I always wake up to their musical chirps. On days that I wake up early enough, I'll have them step up onto my hand a couple times until it is time for me to leave for school. My dad is a software engineer and works from home, so he sees the birds all day. He always tells me that they chirp and whistle a whole lot during the day, and quiet a bit down towards the afternoon. After I get home from school, I stop by their cage, talk to them, and have them step up for about 2 minutes. Although I would enjoy continuing this for a longer period of time, I can't because I usually have basketball practice or a massive amount of homework left to do. After I finish with everything for the day, it is generally around five o'clock. Because it is not too late, the birds are still awake and alert, though not as jumpy. However, after I play with them for about one minute, they seem very vibrant once again. This is when I let them out of their cage. Because they are scared to go anywhere else, they stay on top of their cage and play with toys and move around on perches that I have set up on top. They absolutely love watching everything outside the window. They often climb up on to the windowsill(the only other place they'll go beside their cage) and stare outside for elongated periods of time. I've tried bringing other tables and chairs close to them with their toys, treats, and anything that they like on it, but they are still not motivated or confident enough to go there on their own. When I try bringing them there myself, they panic, stiffen up, and fly back to their cage. After about a time period of one to two hours, I put them back. I don't put a towel around their cage because whenever I do, they end up not getting any sleep and flying around their cage. Their cage is about 34"L x 24"W x 40"H.
They are not clipped, and can fly. I've started training one of them to fly to my hand, and we can do this up to 2 feet apart. Not very far, I know, but we made really good progress in the beginning, but now he does not seem confident enough to go any farther. However, I make sure not to push him at all. My other bird is too afraid to fly or even hop. She wants to, but she ends up just stretching to my hand instead. I try to go veryyy slowly with her, but she is still not ready to fly.
I feed them both Roudybush and Lafeber's pellets. I have tried to feed them veggies, but have not made any progress. I am consistently making an effort to do this. The closest I have gotten is them touching it and retreating, not liking the taste. They have done this for every veggie I have given them. I leave their food out for them all day, although I am not sure if I should only give them pellets for a certain amount of time to section off as meals.
I would like to train them separately, but it is very hard to keep one inside the cage with the other out without the bird inside making a lot of noise, distracting the other bird. I have purchased a carrier for this reason, to train one in a separate room, but they are afraid of it(see in my other post). They have five toys that I transition inside and outside of their cage. They have seven perches that I transition as well.
I presume one of the reasons I have to many issues with them is that I have not gotten them from a breeder, but from a shoddy pet shop. They were not hand-fed, and when I saw them at the store, they were screaming when one of the employees tried to put them into the "box", and were very afraid of the hands. However, they are not afraid of my hands now at all. Their names are Coco and Charlie(my six year old sister picked their names), and they are a girl and boy respectively.

[Wolf]

Alright, if I understand this correctly the birds are in your bedroom, is that right? you spoke of a table that you are able to move around so if you have one that you can use for doing your homework on you could put it outside of their cage with the door open and do your home work there. This will take advantage of their natural curiosity as well as to help them overcome their fear of the table. They also will want to be spending time with you so as soon as they understand that the table is not going to hurt them and that you are doing something interesting on the table at least one of them will make the effort to fly to you at the table. One of the reasons that they are afraid of the table is that they are not accustomed to it being there, they are naturally afraid of new things and it take them a little time to understand that it won't hurt them or eat them, they are prey animals after all.
You haven't done so bad with them based on this posting, you have done much better than it sounded to begin with. The same thing actually is also true with their carrier, they don't know what it is and it is not always there for them to see or to explore when they are out, so I would place it on the table as well. Use it to prop up your books if need be and then when they start coming to the table they will gradually start looking the carrier over as well. Do they take treats of any kind from your fingers? If yes, what treats.
This using the table outside of their cage will help them overcome their fear of it so that you can use it for training as well and it will allow you and them more time to hang out together at the same time and that is also a part of the bonding process and that will get even stronger once they start coming over to you at the table so it accomplishes more than one thing at the same time. You will just need to be patient, while they get used to this change.
Don't get discouraged about them not eating their vegetables, this is a normal behavior given that they were not taught that veggies are food when they were weaned. In some respects, they are just like us, and this is one of those areas. They are hatched naked and blind and they don't know anything and must be taught such things as how to eat and drink, they have no idea as to what is food and what is not until they are taught these things, usually by their parents, or by their caregiver in this case. Eating is also a bonding event for your birds, and although trying to get them to try their vegetable is best accomplished in the mornings before breakfast it can be done in the evening before their dinner. Just sit down at your table and start eating some of the vegetables that you want them to try. Put small pieces in a dish for you to nibble on and some smaller pieces for them to try after they get interested enough to ask for it. I have birds that I am still trying to get to eat a variety of veggies, I have had several successes but they still need to eat a larger variety and so after more than a year of working on this the process continues. You can try shredded or chopped in various sizes cooked and raw or even only partly cooked. Also even it they won't touch a food one day they will eat it as if it were their most favorite food in the whole world on another day. You just never know.
Now I don't feed pellets of any kind to my birds as I don't feel that they are the best option for them and if you want I can provide links to why I feel this way. I feed a cooked mixture of white beans, whole grains and mixed vegetables, we call it gloop and you can find several loose recipes for it in the nutrition section. They get this in the mornings for breakfast along with a couple of fresh, raw veggies chopped small and a fruit. and then the get a high quality seed mix for dinner, which I remove from the cage after they go to sleep.
Now as to whether your birds will ever actually love you. The answer is a resounding yes!!! Birds, especially parrots are extremely intelligent and the possess the very same emotions that we do. Parrots for the most part, mate for life and if they lose their mate they will choose another mate after they go through a grieving process, much the same as we do. This is where rehoming a parrot can be so difficult, because of their emotional attachment to their chosen human they grieve when they lose them. They may not express this love in the same manner that we do but they do express it all the same and it runs just as deep as it does for any human.

[liz]

Animals do love. No one can tell me other wise.
As for the birds, Rambo is just like a 5 year old boy. He loves me but won't say it unless he got into trouble. That is his apolyogy.
Myrtle loves me a lot like a 2 year old sissy girl. I am her favorite toy. Even though they are well cared for when I am away, they look out the window for me. When I get home I get mugged by all of them at once except the cockatiels who are caged but they call to me when they hear my voice.

[Cockatiel Lover]

Thank you Wolf! At this point, words can't express my gratitude for your much appreciated advice. I will start that process as of tomorrow. I will also take the gloop meal into consideration as it sounds as a much healthier alternative. Again, thank you so much for your advice. I can't wait to start with my birds(that I've learned can love) tomorrow!

By the way, I do handfeed them. There's millet, and a variety of seeds that came in a bag from PetCo as a treat alternative. I am not sure what the names are of these seeds. They are relatively small, since I have cockatiels.

[Cockatiel Lover]

Thanks Liz. It motivates me a lot to know that my birds indeed, can, love.

[Cockatiel Lover]

I'd like to post an update as of one day later. I did exactly like Wolf asked, and did my work while their cage door was open. One came out and sat for a while, until she came over to me. One hour later, I find myself training both my birds to fly to me on command without a problem. They both were really excited, and followed me around the top of the cage. They were learning faster than I was training and gave me a marvelous feeling of joy and love. The key thing was to let them find something new on their own, and let them get accustomed to it. They are not scared of the general area they were in during the train section. I guess I just have to take everything slowly. Thank you so much! I can't believe I accomplished what I've been trying to do for the past year.

[Wolf]

Great news !! It takes a little patience because you can't push them , but you still need to think ahead and provide them the opportunity to explore and learn at their own pace. You can, however, take advantage of their natural predilections, such as curiosity to your advantage.