Parrot & Person not getting along

[Marnie]

wow, your letter could have been written by me. i have the exact same thing going on with my Sennie.
she is a little over a yr old and i got her so we would have a nice family bird we could both enjoy.
my husband misses the interaction he had with his amazon so i thought she would fill the niche for both of us in a much smaller package.
at first she was receptive to anyone who would pet her, she loves to be petted!! so she was a big hit so i thought i did great in my choice of a new Fid.
but i was the one who spent the most time talking to her and being with her and finally winning her trust. she would totally let me handle her and do anything with her. at which point when ever hubby would try to pet her she would bite, so he gave up. he hates rejection and i think he probably feels the same way about her. i feel really bad about that, i know he loved to pet her and fuss over her and now he can't, she has banned him from her space. for no good reason really, he just wanted to pet her. i know now i am her person and no one else will do.
so it seems i got a bird just for me which was never the case, i do enjoy her and take her with me wherever i go in the house and she goes camping with me too. she is a joy to have except for that one quirk of just liking me only. so thats how it is here too.
i have accepted this and go with it. she is what she is and if i must say so myself, she has good taste
my husband and i don't really get along anyways so this is just one more thorn in his side where i am concerened.

[Gipoun]

Hi there,

I thought I would post a reply from the other side.
My boyfriend and I were living together when he asked if I minded if he got a bird. I said not a problem and he shortly thereafter came home with an African Grey.
From the beginning the general consensus was that Sinbad was his bird, but I always made an effort to pick him up, talk to him, teach him things etc...
We have now had Sinbad for two years and despite my efforts the bird HATES me.
He bites me any chance he gets, he will divebomb me and grab my hair, do the angry fluff any time I am around his cage.
I still do pick him up but I will admit due to the fact he bites me, I don't spend more than 10 minutes a day interacting with him.
I will admit in the beginning I was a little jealous of the amount of time my boyfriend gave the bird, but now it is just about saving my hands.
My boyfriend in the beginning was trying to get me to spend more time with Sinbad, but now he has accepted that is not healthy (mentally or physically) for me to try and force Sinbad to like me.

[k9shrink]

If you find a cure for bad attitudes in BFs or hubby's, please let me know!

Sharon

[Azure Hanyo]

I'm really worried, however. If I went to the hospital or died (I've had cancer previously), my husband has NO idea how to clean the cage, or what Clover eats (Harrisons + 27-ingredient-mash daily), or anything at all about her. He can't pick her up. He'd never keep her, but I'm worried he couldn't even handle her enough to rehome her. When I went to America for 2 weeks last year, he filled the food bowl with food I pre-measured in advance... but never even opened the cage or cleaned it once, because of being afraid of her AND "hating" her.

If you find a cure for bad attitudes in BFs or hubby's, please let me know!

Sharon in Istanbul

This could definitely be a problem, considering how long-lived Greys are... She can live probably a good 60 or more years. O.o If I were you I would look into willing her to someone who would take care of her; a bird sanctuary, for example.

[Michael]

Have you read this already?

How To Overcome One Person Parrot Aggression

This is not a complete solution but it hints on techniques and tips for reducing these issues. With dedication, time, and patience it can be overcome. Unfortunately the more bad history there is, the more it requires to be fixed.

I would say the most important and hardest thing is to convince your husband to work with the bird consistently no matter what happens rather than getting the bird to accept him once he does that.