Once loving cockatoo now doesn't want to be touched

[AxlHarley]

Hi there.
I have a 16 month old sulpher crested cockatoo. He was a very affectionate loving cockatoo - constantly wanting hugs and kisses and absolutely loved head scratches - the second I would get home he would be on me demanding attention. In August I went on holiday for 2 weeks and had a friend looking after him - staying at my place and feeding etc so he was in familiar territory. When I returned from my holiday I was greeted by a cockatoo that didn't want a bar of me. Would not allow me to get close to him or touch him. At first I thought he was having a tantrum because I had gone away for 2 weeks without him. But it's been 4 months, and while we have made some progress - I can get near him, I can give him kisses on his beak as long as I hide my hands and approach him slowly, if he sees my hands move he flees. He no longer climbs onto me. He still carries on and makes a ruckus if I am not paying him attention but then won't let me get close to him. I can get closer if I stand on the outside of the cage and make kiss noises and then he will come to me but again flee if he sees me move my hands (I have to keep them behind my back). Any ideas as to what is going on here would be much appreciated - also any tips on how to get back the relationship we had previously.
It is noteworthy that about a month ago I had to take him to the vet due to a broken blood feather. After this visit to the vet he was back to his old lovey dovey self and for 2 hours straight was on me and demanding hugs and kisses - no issues with my hands at all - until he got over the trauma of it all and seemed to remember he's annoyed with me.
Help?

[Pajarita]

Hi, Axl and too, welcome to the forum. The problem is that your absence was too long and too soon. At 12 months of age, he was still a baby -and, at 16, he still is- so, to him, his only parent basically abandoned him. Even my birds, which have been with me for years and are all mature adults don't take it kindly when I leave so I never go away for more than 5 days even though they stay with my husband, with whom they are VERY familiar as he helps with them every day. Large birds might seem all grown up at 1 or 2 years of age but they are not emotionally mature. And I suspect that the aversion to hands came from something your friend did. I am not saying that he was mistreated, mind you, I am saying that 'reading' parrots is not something that comes naturally to people - even people who live with them.

The only thing that, in my personal opinion, you can do is give him time. And don't get impatient because it takes a LOOOOOONG time for them to get over any type of trauma. And don't keep on 'hiding' your hands. Leave them hanging on your sides when you interact with him for now and start moving them, VERY slowly and VERY gradually, closer to him. And ALWAYS have a nut in them - if he doesn't react negatively to them (relaxed body, feathers not flat against his body, normal eyes, etc), give him the treat and praise, praise, praise.

Basically, you need to convince him to forgive you and regain his trust.

Keeping parrots healthy and happy is VERY hard and, unfortunately for us, long vacations are not recommended.

[AxlHarley]

Thanks for the advise. I have been trying most of this - with treats he will take them from me but then instantly throw them.
I agree that something must have happened with my mate while I was away, but he is adamant there was nothing so I can only guess at it.
We are making progress, it just seems to be taking a long time but I guess that is normal. I will just keep chipping away at it. He has reached a point where SOMETIMES I can put my hand through a space in the cage and stroke his beak, but only with that barrier between us, if I try to touch him at all while I'm totally inside the aviary he flees to the other side. And when he is inside I had no hope of laying a finger on him but he will hang around close to where I am but ready to flee.
I'll just keep taking baby steps and hopefully one day he will be back to his old self.

[Pajarita]

Well, It is entirely possible that your friend did not do anything he perceives as 'the wrong thing to do' but parrots so NOT like strangers and maybe the only thing he did was try to touch him.

Yes, just keep at it. It has taken me up to 3 1/2 years to convince a bird to stop attacking me - everything with parrots take forever...